We all have all had those moments when we just don’t feel particularly comfortable with ourselves. Sometimes, you might feel yourself wondering whether other people actually like you, or not. This is a normal part of being human.
You may feel scared about meeting new people or getting together with your old friends. There are a whole host of reasons why you may have these concerns. Maybe you think you’re having a bad hair day or you are worried about those extra pounds you have put on over the holidays. These seem small when we say them here, but they can dampen your self-confidence. All these things can be part of your fear of rejection.
But if you are finding that the fears about rejection are taking up a lot of your time and thinking, perhaps it is time to consider ways to rid yourself of some of these worries. How?
Replace your fears with some solid strategy:
1. Get specific. What are you afraid of? Figure out what, specifically, you are afraid of. Are you worried that the opposite sex will be turned off by your looks or the clothes you wear? Maybe you think that others believe that you have nothing interesting to say. Are you afraid that you will say something silly and embarrass yourself?
– The point is that you need to know exactly what it is that you fear before you can try to tackle it.
2. Use the facts. Dispute your fears with facts. For example, let’s just say that your biggest fear is that you aren’t as smart as others. Seriously! When was the last time you were graded on something? Chances are probably pretty good that you didn’t get all failing grades even then.
– Acknowledge to yourself that there have been times in your life when you performed very well. Write them down. You must stick with reality when it comes to disputing your fears.
3. Learn to release. Let go of other people’s responses to you. If someone doesn’t accept you, that is entirely their choice. Really, it’s okay if someone doesn’t think that you are the sharpest crayon in the box. No one is accepted 100% of the time. Admit that you can function just fine, live well, and even excel, if someone rejects you.
– Even if 5 people reject you today, your life is still going to go on in whatever manner you have planned, going from this point forward.
– Before going out to socialize, admit to yourself that you may encounter someone whom you believe doesn’t really like you. You will also undoubtedly meet some people who do like you. And, recognize that you probably won’t know for sure one way or the other whether someone you have just met likes you or not.
4. Apply your knowledge. What is it about other people that attracts you? Maybe you like people who show humor or smile a lot. Perhaps you gravitate toward those who are being helpful to the host of the party.
– Why not begin this leg of the journey by trying to display some of those same pleasant characteristics that draw you to others? If you demonstrate the qualities that attract you to others, others will most likely be drawn to you as well.
5. Step through it. Feel the fear and do it anyway. The best way to try to overcome a fear is to confront the behavior that brings on the fear until you become much more comfortable with it and are no longer absolutely paralyzed by that fear.
Getting past some of your fears of rejection is within your reach. Use what you know about what makes you like other people and let go of the need to have a positive response from everyone you meet. Fears are emotions. You can make the choice to face your worries and apprehensions and move forward. Doing so will bring you increasing levels of confidence and great satisfaction.