For Show and Tell – life lived by the Book

Embrace The Path Forward: Reentry (Part 2)

Two weeks ago, we started talking about re-entry into the post-COVID world. As you may recall, I said…

As the pandemic begins to subside, more people become immunized, anti-maskers and anti-vaxxers aside, as our herd immunity improves, and we are released back into the real world, many of us will find the world a little different.

How do we approach this new world?

Ask for help when you need it.

As one of my friends says, and writes, often be intentional with yourself. Be intentional with the activities that you choose to do.

Be intentional about the things you decide to remain connected to, as well as those things that may no longer be a part of your spirit.

Before we plunge back into the deep end of life’s pool, we need to deliberate and purposely align our thoughts with our actions, with our heartfelt, and deepest desired outcomes.

What do you want?

More money?
More time with your family or friends?
Time to travel?
Time to write?
Time to read?
Time to be with nature?
All the above?
Well, we can’t actually have it all. But we can have parts of each.

You get to figure out, to some extent, who or what you wish to become. Once again, we have time to take on some of life’s important questions, like:

Who am I?
Where in this world do I belong?
What in this world, or the next, do I hold sacred?
- Do my choices reflect this?

These are tough times, and some of these transitions will be hard.

Be more gentle and loving with yourself.

And, always remember, you are not completely alone on this journey. Reach out, and ask for help. You will know someone who knows something of value for your quest, or your next adventure, your next day, even for your next step; or, they will know someone who does.

We can do this!

Reach out in the comments…

Martina

Embrace The Path Forward: Reentry (Part 1)

I think we will all that the world has not so much changed as we have changed. That we will find something new within ourselves.

A new way of dealing with the world.
A new way of dealing with people.
A new way of approaching the world beyond our inner world.

For introverts, this past year of lockdown has been unusual in its enforced solitariness. There have been no museums to meander through aimlessly taking notes while listening to the walk-through recordings. No bookstores to wander about, picking up stacks, and depositing them on your favorite table by the window, just leafing through them at your leisure. No quiet libraries where you can be alone but still be with other people.

For extroverts, this past year of lockdown has been some of the quietest and most introspective time many have spent alone. A wonderful opportunity to have learned something new about themselves.

But learning something and choosing to do something new are very different things.

We have spent lifetimes making the world a busy, loud, productive, and anxious place. Filling days with lots of rushing around, for both work and for play.

I believe we all crave something slower, quieter, deeper, and much more meaningful.

I think our psyches hunger and thirst for something more subdued, especially on reentry.

You may remember a few weeks ago that one of the Space X Starships blew up after landing. I think the basic mission went smoothly, leaving and reentering the atmosphere, then initially settling back onto the earth. But obviously, something was different upon reentry. Something had changed on the way to settling back down on the surface. Either the spacecraft, or the ground, or the fuel was different. There was a different kind of combustibility upon settling in. The same is true for our lives. After more than 12 months of doing something unusual, some things will simply not return to our pre-flight “normal.”

I think it is an unreasonable expectation, and unnecessary stress we are placing on ourselves that we will settle back into life exactly as it was before.

There have been many poems and prose pieces stating that the pre-pandemic times weren’t normal. But a series of abnormalities and aberrations we made accommodation for, things we adjusted to. And even when we had to struggle to stay in the game, we still insisted on calling the game normal, all the while berating ourselves for failing to keep abreast with everyone else.

Hopefully, this past year has given us some time to stop, think, reassess, and realign our lives and our minds. Our spirits have had an unexpected timeout, a time to rest, and time to regroup.

And I think we all would hate to find that we spent a whole year longing to go back to a lifestyle we did not want in the first place.

What can we expect?

Expect that reentry will be rocky.

That the world will feel more different, jittery.

Expect that human interactions will feel different, even overwhelming, at first

That the world will sound noisier.

Some of our favorite foods won’t taste the way we remember them, not because something has changed in their preparation, but because has changed within us. And, it is okay.

Be gentle with yourself…

Let’s talk more in a few days about choosing ways to proceed.

Subscribe to keep up with my writing and interact as we all find our way into a different world, and a different us…

Martina

Embrace the Solitary Moments

In order to understand the world,

one has to turn away from it on occasion.

Albert Camus

Time alone can either be embraced or eschewed. Maybe you do not have many opportunities for solitary moments, or perhaps you spend a lot of time alone and you don’t know what to do with this time.

Regardless of your current struggles with solitude, here are a few thoughts about how to make the most of your solitary moments:

1. Watch Movies or Documentaries

Being alone is the perfect opportunity to watch something you have wanted to see.
To really make the most of your solitary time, keep a running list of the movies you want to see, and recommendations made by family and friends. I keep mine, along with many other things in Trello app.
Then you can select the ones that will provide you with the most enjoyment.
Maybe add some popcorn and grab your favorite beverage!

2. Do what you love.

If you have a hobby you love, there’s never enough time to pursue it.
Perhaps you love to write poetry but rarely have the opportunity to sit down and write.

3. Get in tune with nature.

Go for walks.
Observe everything going on around you: birds flying by, dogs taking their masters for a walk, and children playing.
Becoming re-acquainted with nature will help you to gain peace and serenity from your solitary moments.

4. Read.

Reading your favorite book can be highly enjoyable when home alone.
Is there anything as comforting as curling up with a comforter, a cup of your favorite team, and a good book?

5. Plan.

Make a list of all the work tasks you want to accomplish over the next month or two.
Try writing out the changes you want to make in your home.
You could even record goals you hope to achieve over the next 5 years.

6. Enjoy new apps, games, and toys.

With solitary moments, you can explore some new apps or playing a game.
It is perfectly okay to spend some of your time alone engaging in fun and frivolity. It’s your time!!

7. Meditate

Practicing meditation is known to reduce anxiety, increase feelings of wellness and encourage relaxation.
Delving into meditation will enrich your life in a number of ways.
It can bring calmness, help restore balance, and enhance the joy in your life.

8. Learn something.

If you’ve always wanted to learn more about the history of a country or how to speak a new language, obtain some books and DVDs, or check out networks like YouTube to begin your education.

9. Exercise

As long as your doctor approves, you can start a fitness routine at any time.
You can get that much sought-after buzz from exercising while improving your health, and you will feel look better too.

Overview

You can engage in your favorite hobbies, get closer to nature, read a book, learn something new, or focus on a little “Me Time.”
Regardless of how much time alone you have, you can make the most of those solitary moments.
Make a conscious decision about how to spend your alone time and your life will be changed for the better!

Martina

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Embrace Peace

Peace comes from within.

Do not seek it without.

Siddhartha Gautama

We have the ability to better appreciate the kindness of others and experience more harmony in our own lives.

We can choose to replace anxiety with confidence.

Make a conscious effort to take control of the parts of your schedule you can, so you will be able to spend more time on your personal priorities.

Communing with nature awakens our senses and can quiet our runaway thoughts.

In nature, we know and feel that we are part of something larger than ourselves.

As the quality of our thinking improves, the caliber of our work increases and our activities become more satisfying, we better manage stress.

Find your peace.

And keep that as one of your life’s priorities.

Martina

Photo by Alejandro Piñero Amerio on Unsplash

Stuck at Home? Ways to Reduce Stress

To learn which questions are unanswerable,

and not to answer them:

this skill is most needful in times of stress and darkness.

Ursula K. Le Guin

Everyone is struggling.

We have reached March… again. For many of us, we have been stuck indoors for most of the past year. While the number of active cases and hospitalizations are declining, and vaccines are becoming increasingly available, we are still not completely out of the woods, yet. Many will continue to work from home, and some will face intermittent quarantines because of exposure, or children may return from school. Whether we work from home, are recovering from an illness or surgery, or for any other reason, if we are stuck at home for prolonged periods, we may find ourselves feeling stressed and depressed.

The world will probably be a little different whenever we reach the other side of this plague. . As we move further into Pandemic Fatigue, now is an excellent time to build or renew habits that will help us persevere.

There are many things we can do to help reduce our level of stress, uplift our mood, and increase our productivity on tasks that really matter. Below are a few ideas on ways to maintain our sanity until we hear the “all clear.” Work through the list, and try the activities one by one until you find your sweet spot.

Get some exercise. People who exercise regularly are less likely to experience anxiety than those who don’t. Exercise releases feel-good endorphins, can improve your quality of sleep, and can help boost your confidence. And, it does not have to be a gut-wrenching experience to achieve these things. Start slow, start small, start at home with what you already have.
Light scented candles. Certain scents can help reduce feelings of stress and anxiety. Lavender, sandalwood, ylang-ylang, and geranium have all been shown to offer these benefits. You can Google others if these don’t appeal to you.
Reduce your caffeine intake. Caffeine is a stimulant found in coffee, some teas, and energy drinks. It can also cause anxiety in high doses. If you experience symptoms such as jitteriness or anxiety, consider cutting on your intake.
Chew gum. When you chew gum, you will experience greater blood flow to your brain. Doing this can cause brain waves to occur that are similar to those experienced by relaxed people.
Family and friends. Our family and friends can offer us support in times of need, so it is important that we keep them close to us. Spending time with friends can help release oxytocin, which helps to relieve stress. Call them on the phone or video-chat on a regular basis. If you can’t remember easily, make a schedule together to check in on each other.
Laugh. Spending some time out of your day to laugh helps relieve stress. It helps to relieve tension by relaxing your muscles and can also strengthen your immune system and uplift your mood.
“No” is a complete sentence. Often we will find ourselves stressed because we take on too many responsibilities and obligations. It is important to be more selective about what we agree to do.
Stop procrastinating. If we put off doing important tasks, we sometimes find ourselves getting more stressed and having to rush around to complete tasks before their deadlines hit. Instead of trying to multitask, make a list of your tasks and do them in order of importance. This will reduce stress and enjoy greater productivity. There are some people who function well in this environment; but not most of us.
Practice mindfulness. Whether you take a yoga class or try some self-meditation, if you practice mindfulness and focus on the present moment rather than the past or future, you will see a reduction in anxiety.
Listen to relaxing music. Certain types of music can lower your blood pressure and heart rate and may help to reduce stress hormones too. Slow-paced instrumental music works well, but classical, Celtic, Native American, and Indian music can also be soothing. But, sometimes you need to dance. Mix things up and see what moves you, and what works to elevate your mood and decrease the feelings of stress.
Practice deep breathing. Deep breathing’s goal is to slow your breathing and make it deeper. This process delivers more oxygen to your body’s cells, relaxes your muscles, slows your heart rate, and leaves you feeling more peaceful and relaxed.
Spend time with your pet. When you interact with a pet, your body releases oxytocin, a chemical that uplifts your mood. Plus, having a pet will give you a different sense of purpose, help to keep you active, and provide you with companionship – which all can reduce stress.

While stress can easily occur while we are stuck at home, there are many methods we can use to address it.

Make a habit of practicing these strategies, or find new ones on your own, whenever you feel stressed. And soon you will have an entire arsenal of tools you can use to overcome stress just as easily as it arises.

Martina

Spring Haiku I

It is spring again.

The earth is like a child that knows

poems by heart.

Rainer Maria Rilke

Spring Haiku I

The snow liquefies

First Sparrow trumpets return

The spring has arrived!

©Copyright 2021 Martina Green McGowan, MD

Embrace Listening

When people talk,

listen completely.

Most people never listen.

Ernest Hemingway

Listening intently allows me to hear the cry of others.
When others approach me, especially with sadness in their eyes, I stop what I am doing and sit down to listen. STOP, DROP and LISTEN.
Using my eyes and ears together, and sometimes touch, allows me to really connect with someone else.
Instead of focusing on my own opinion of their situation, I pay close attention to their message – to what’s in their heart.
Often, the heart already knows but requires space and time in which to give voice to both the problem and the solution.
Be patient when listening.
I embrace the people around me wholeheartedly.

Martina

Photo by Sam Farallon on Unsplash

Embrace Stillness

Feel your emotions

Live true your passions

Keep still your mind.

Geoffrey M. Gluckman

If you are like most of us, you are not taking the time to experience real stillness on a regular basis.
Many people are resistant to the idea of stillness for several reasons. We do not believe we have the time to sit and do “nothing.”
Twenty minutes of meditation each day is an awesome way to practice stillness on a regular basis. Start with 5 minutes, and work your way up to a more expanded time.
Meditation and prayer are the most obvious ways to practice stillness, but they certainly are not the only option.

Be still each day for as much time as you can spare.

Your life will be changed in powerful ways.

Photo by Saltiola Photography on Unsplash

One Word: 2021

“As long as I am breathing,
in my eyes, I am just beginning.”
Criss Jami

No one will ever need to remind anyone who is alive today, what an ‘interesting” year 2020 has been. There are, of course, many other terms we could use to describe it. There have been many terrible things that have happened this year- tragedy upon tragedy, personal, political, and pandemic-related.

There have been good things, but those tend to be overshadowed by the bad, and the not-so-easily reconcilable.

Dealing with 2020 has been like dealing with a bad or derailing marriage. If you haven’t been party to one, or directly affected by one, then you’ve probably borne witness to at least one. Raw nerves have been exposed. Important issues that we have not taken care of nor dealt with continue to plague us. We continue to try to sweep them under the proverbial rug. And, somehow, we are continually amazed that they keep coming back to haunt us.

Personally, this year I have missed human contact because of the lockdown.

Also, Watchnight will not happen this year. Another missed opportunity to gather with community to jointly reflect on the year that we have just completed, and to
renew focus for the year ahead. A time when good things, bad things, evil things, sinful things, and good deeds are all laid bare on the altar of contemplation. While considering, with prayer, how to make the year ahead better.

But, as we come to this time of year, as we do every year, it is a time of making choices for the transition.

We can wallow in the carnage that was 2020. Or we can choose a different path. Rise and walk a path that reflects and demonstrates our human resilience. We can rise above all that we have borne witness to this year, by choosing to embrace life on slightly different terms, the new normal.

For many years I have chosen a single word “mantra” for the the year. Last year, my word was “Be.” And, despite a sometimes very rocky 2020, with all its ups and downs, turmoil, missteps, and challenges, I think it turned out to be a pretty good year for me to get past “Becoming,” and finally “Be.” But that is for another day.

For this year I have chosen- Embrace

Embrace all that life drops at our doorstep
The good times, and the bitter times.
Embrace the sad times, and the madcap and the maddening times.
Embrace the tearful times, and the terrifyingly terrific times.
Embrace the ebb and flow of all tides that come to us and learn from each.
Embrace the peaks and valleys of this leg of our life journey.
Most importantly, embrace each other and hold tightly.
Remember at every moment that this “may be the last time,” and treat it as such.

Accept things as they are.
Or do something to make the situation different.
By choice, let go, or keep, what does not serve you well.
Pursue and embrace the things that are of value.

We can face anything together.

2020 Thanksgiving Thoughts

We cannot do great things on this Earth,

only small things with great love.

Mother Teresa

2020 has been a bizarre year by any standard. I don’t think I need to rehash all of them here. And, some events are still unfolding, slowly. But, some good things have emerged as well.

We are approaching the year’s end and this is often a time for reflection and preparation.

Thanksgiving always seems a bitter-sweet holiday for me. A time to remember to be thankful and kind and gracious. But it is also a time (or perhaps a season) when people are filled with sadness and loneliness. As I was growing up, we had great (in number) family gatherings for most holidays, often at my mother’s house. Lots of cooking and good smells and good times. As I have grown older, many of those people, including my parents and my sibs, along with a whole host of others, are no longer alive. They are remembered and missed. This is part of my holiday sadness, but I have others that I can share the joys of “now”.

I am grateful for every person who has crossed my path. I am grateful for every experience, even though I may not have enjoyed them or understood them at the time. I have learned something from each. I am grateful for new friends, acquaintances, and opportunities to continue to learn and to grow.

But there is another side to the sadness of holidays. And that is that the world is full of people who are alone, as well as those who are lonely. Trust me, they are not the same. Some of us are alone and quite content with our situation most of the time. While many are alone because of circumstances within or beyond their control and are far from being content. Still, others are alone because they have built rock-solid walls of protection around their hearts and are afraid to let anyone in again, because they cannot forgive another, or grant themselves forgiveness.

Everyone knows someone who would probably be thrilled to have someone reach out and touch their lives with some small act of kindness.

This is generally a season of hope. Be mindful in extending a little more love, offer a little more hope and grace to the people around you. Not because someone told you to, but because you possess the ability, capacity, and humanity to get it done.

Because of COVID-19, more people will be alone for the next few days. This will be a new way of doing things for them. All the more poignant because it is a “holiday” in which families gather. If someone is on your mind or your heart, why not give them a call or do Facetime with them?

Remember that every person we encounter is struggling with something.

Be kind,

Be thoughtful,

Be gracious,

Protect your own peace,

Be a blessing,

#BeBlessed,

And, #StaySafe.

~ Martina

Photo by Chris Lawton on Unsplash