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Martina McGowan MD

life lived by the Book

Stories We Tell Ourselves: Lack Of Major Progress Means Failure part 2

“We always hope for the easy fix:

the one simple change that will erase a problem in a stroke.

But few things in life work this way.

Instead, success requires making a hundred small steps go right

– one after the other, no slipups, no goofs,

everyone pitching in.”

Atul Gawande

Picking up from last week‘s post, progress is made by small consistent steps. It does not require a grand leap to move us forward. And, we sell ourselves short by not celebrating our wins along the journey. Not recognizing simple, smaller progress robs us of the joy inherent in our journey forward. Of course, the big celebrations should come at the completion of the task or job. But we need to be cognizant of keeping ourselves and others motivated and focused as we inch toward our goal lines.

The Limiting Belief We Want to Let Go Of:

● “Lack of major progress equates with failure.”

More Empowering Beliefs We Can Hold:

● “Small, steady progress is the win.”
● “Small successes add up to progress over time.”
● “I celebrate my victories no matter their size.”
● “Consistency is what matters!”

In order to rewrite our beliefs, we must understand that even the smallest progress on our goals is a win. Small bits of progress on a consistent basis add up over time and lead to larger successes. We may not be making huge leaps of progress on a daily basis, but we must believe that it is okay, or it becomes too difficult to move to the next day, the next step.

We have to stop judging our success by whether we’re making big jumps forward. We can choose to judge our success by our consistency.

Some days we will have trouble being consistent with our goals, but that’s okay, too.

● Stop!!!

● Go back to your action steps.

● Focus on the most important task first thing each day and seek to make a small amount of progress on the task at hand. “First thing” means something a little different for each of us. First thing in the morning if that is when you work best. The first thing you do when you sit at your desk after your morning chat, etc.



Action Steps

● Break down your large goals into very manageable pieces or manageable time frames.

● Each day, seek to get one small element of your goal done.

● Instead of evaluating how much progress you’re making on your goals, trust the process of doing one thing every single day.

Affirmation

I affirm that I am making progress on my goals, even if that progress may seem small and relatively insignificant today.

I choose to celebrate my small wins, knowing that each small win brings me one step closer to my overall goal.

I refuse to criticize myself for what I perceive to be a lack of progress. Instead, I focus all my attention on the steps I am making forward because each small step forward is a victory.

Next Time…

The posts will tackle the trap many of us fall into – comparing ourselves to others. This is another habit that robs us of joy while destroying our confidence. We will share tools to help us break out of this need and realize how valuable you really are.

Chat soon.

Martina

Stories We Tell Ourselves: Lack Of Major Progress Means Failure pt 1

It is better to take many small steps in the right direction

than to make a great leap forward only to stumble backward.

Louis Sachar

In our last post, we talked about how all the resources we need to reach our goals are already available to us. Today, we will discover that we do not need gigantic wins to reach our goals – small successes get us there as well. How easy it always is for us to criticize ourselves for a lack of major progress on our goals. We feel that if we are not making significant progress every single day, then we are at risk of becoming a failure. Maybe we have a list of goals that we want to achieve and that list haunts us. It can serve as a painful reminder of all that we have not achieved. So, every day we feel like we have failed. We are inundated with articles and nudges that conspire to make us feel like the truly productive people in the world succeed by making leaps and bounds of progress on a daily and consistent basis. Our limiting belief is that our lack of major progress on our goals means that we have failed. We often fall into a funk, continually criticizing and berating ourselves for not achieving more, and not achieving it faster. For not being more successful. This thinking can leave us feeling frustrated with ourselves and feel like throwing in the towel. Now let’s rethink and rewrite this limiting belief into a set of empowering beliefs. Limiting Belief: ● “Lack of major progress equates with failure.” More Empowering Beliefs: ● “Small progress is a win.” ● “Small successes add up to progress over time.” ● “I celebrate my victories no matter their size.” ● “Consistency is what matters!” We will pick up on this empowered thinking and ways to incorporate it into a healthier mindset next week. Chat soon.

Martina

The Stories We Tell Ourselves: My Resources Are Limited pt 2

Never surrender your hopes and dreams to the fateful limitations others have placed on their own lives.

The vision of your true destiny does not reside within the blinkered outlook of the naysayers and the doom prophets.

Judge not by their words, but accept advice based on the evidence of actual results.

Do not be surprised should you find a complete absence of anything mystical or miraculous in the manifested reality of those who are so eager to advise you.

Friends and family who suffer the lack of abundance, joy, love, fulfillment and prosperity in their own lives really have no business imposing their self-limiting beliefs on your reality experience.

Anthon St. Maarten

Today we take the next step from the last blog post, from the mindset that either we do not have enough in terms of resources or that we ourselves are not enough to pursue our dreams and desires. Sometimes these thoughts are purely our own. Too often these limitations come from often well-meaning family and friends, worm their way into our subconscious, and we treat them as gospel. Stop!

Let us switch to more empowering thinking:

● “The universe is full of abundant resources.”
● “There is more than enough to go around.”
● “I can get whatever I need to accomplish my wildest dreams.”
● “I can create more of what I focus on.”

The reality is that we live in an abundant universe that has more than enough for everyone. There is no limit to the resources available if we simply start looking for them and opening ourselves to receive them.

This mindset is called an “abundance” mindset. Instead of believing that there are too few resources available, we choose to view the world as a place that has more than enough to go around.  Instead of dreaming small with limited thinking, we should dream big because we know that all that we need is available.

Our new belief is that the universe has everything we need in order to pursue our biggest dreams and goals.

If we want to receive more from the universe, we have to focus on what we want to receive, make the appropriate changes in ourselves and in our lives, and, believe that we are capable of getting it. Faith is the key!

Action Steps:

When I was much younger, I hear a quote that has stuck with me all my life:

In order to accomplish something different,

you must be willing to do something different.

Nothing changes in our lives without action!!!

That is with repeating. Nothing will change in our lives without taking action!

● Journal: Make a list of all the specific things you need to receive in order achieve your biggest hopes and dreams.

● Instead of focusing on what you do not have, fix all your attention on what you want to receive. You create more of what you focus on.

Affirmation

The universe is abundant. I believe there is more than enough for everyone, and that resources are plentiful.

The people and resources I need to achieve my goals come my way when I need them, and I gratefully and wholeheartedly open myself up to receive them.

I dream big, abundant dreams.

With eager anticipation, I look forward to the future, knowing that it is good and exciting.

Let me know if this series is helpful to you. And, if you have additional ideas about improving or stories of your success in changing your mindset, please share them in the comments.

Chat soon.

Martina

Stories We Tell Ourselves: My Resources Are Limited pt 1

When we believe there is not enough, that resources are scarce, then we accept that some will have what they need and some will not.

We rationalize that someone is destined to end up with the short end of the stick.

Lynne Twist

Actually, we rationalize that we will end up with the short end of the stick…

In the last post of this series, we conquered the limiting belief that our past controls our future. This post steps even farther out of our past and takes a look at our current circumstances. Do you ever feel like there is something you wish to accomplish, but that your resources are too limited?

If so, this way of thinking assumes that there are only a limited number of resources and options in the world. It operates out of what is called a “scarcity” mentality, which is the belief that there are only so many resources in the world and that most of these resources have already been taken up by others.

This leads us to assume that there aren’t enough resources for us to do what we want to do.

We think to ourselves, “I don’t have enough [time, money, connections, etc.] to achieve what I want to achieve.”

How does this statement make you feel?

Write about it in your journal. Is this what you really believe about the state of your life? Or do you have a kinder, gentler view of the world, your abilities, and your place in it? Share.

Too many of us make the assumption that we are lacking in the resources and options we need, so we fail to take any action. Instead of moving forward, we sit still/ stuck, marking time, and spinning our wheels. We think that in order to take action, we need to have more options at our disposal, such as more time, money, or help from others.

Now let’s rewrite this limiting belief with a set of empowering beliefs and rewire our thinking.

Let’s move away from-  “I don’t have enough resources.”

To more Empowering Beliefs, like:

● “The universe is full of abundant resources.”
● “There is more than enough to go around.”
● “I am able to create more of what I focus on.”

You know the drill…

Spend some time thinking and writing, and next week, we will flesh this out with an action plan.

Chat soon.

Martina

Earth Day: Love Poem for Earth

Earth care, as it turns out, is really about self-care and other-care.

What we design today impacts how we live tomorrow.

For better or for worse, it impacts far into upcoming generations.
 L.L. Barkat

 Love Poem to Earth

We have used you

     as our refuse pile

While pressing you to serve

     our ever-growing needs

You have repulsed our groping

     and tried to corral us

It is us,

     not you

            the problem

We are the creatures

     who must be tamed

Controlled with overheating,

     tsunamis and plagues

Can we transform ourselves

      into what we need to be

Lost beings

     Riding your back through history and time

Can we learn

     To be servants

And save you

     while saving us

You

     Our only home

Our refuge, our sanctum

     For all time

While we still have time

© Copyright Martina Green McGowan, MD

Photo by Ishmeet Kaur on Scopio

Stories We Tell Ourselves: The Past Will Always Negatively Influence My Future part 2

We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.

But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.

Steve Maraboli

Let’s continue our discussion from our last blog post about the impact of the past on the present and future…

We cannot allow ourselves to remain prisoners to our pasts, nor let the negativity or negative outcomes hold us, hostage, and keep us from moving into new areas of our lives.

That would mean that we never feel up to the task of trying anything new. We would always feel like our past is holding us back. Keeping us from our true potential. Standing in the way of any potential successes. Let’s revise the limiting belief into a set of more empowering beliefs.

Limiting Belief:

● “My past will always keep me from creating a brighter future.”

Empowering Beliefs:

● “My past cannot determine what I achieve in the future.”
● “My past is one of my greatest assets.”
● “Lessons from the past make me stronger, wiser.”
● “I can avoid making the same mistakes in the future by looking to the past.”
● “I can learn from my past and adapt and change.”

Failure in the past does not automatically consign us to failure in the future. Struggle in the past doesn’t mean that we will invariably struggle in the future.

In fact, our past can become one of our greatest assets. As we learn lessons from our past, it can make us that much stronger, wiser, more careful, and more diligent about what we choose to do, and how we do things. We have more knowledge, better skills, and new experiences. We can avoid some of the missteps of the past and succeed in the future.

While it is true that the past does influence the future, it always has the equal potential of influencing the future in good ways! Our past can allow us to adapt, change, and become more effective at what we do.

How Do We Move Forward?

Action Steps

● Open your journal. Identify an areas of your past that you feel will negatively influence your future.

● Ask yourself, “How can these elements of my past help me as I move forward into the future? How can they be an asset?”

● Write down every advantage that your past gives you.

Affirmation

I affirm that my past fails to determine my future. In fact, it gives me great advantages. I alone determine my future.

I adapt, change, and evolve in positive ways because of my past. I am becoming a wiser person because of my past and I know that the future holds many good things for me.

I can achieve great things because I am wiser and more skilled than in the past. My past has taught me valuable lessons. I am grateful for these lessons and ready to move on toward the bright future that awaits me.

Looking Forward

In our next post, we’ll talk about using what we already have to achieve our biggest dreams and goals!

Chat soon

Martina

Stories We Tell Ourselves: The Past Will Always Negatively Influence My Future pt 1

Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way,

ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future.

Deepak Chopra

In the last set of blogs, we talked about how our failures do not make the determination that we will fail now or in the future. In fact, failures have the potential to bring us closer to success! This post is tied closely to the same idea – that what happened in our past cannot accurately predict our future. That is, of course, unless we give up and allow it to.

If we think that our past predicts our future, this limiting threshold can become particularly pernicious. It has us assume that past events will influence future events only in negative ways. That our past actions have dominance over our present and future actions. That our past holds us hostage for eternity!

Maybe, like me, you have made mistakes in the past and have convinced yourself that those mistakes are going to keep you from achieving the success you desire. Maybe you have tried some things in the past that simply haven’t worked out. Maybe you don’t have a good track record in a particular area.

We can begin to believe that our past actions restrict our options for the future, or that past efforts will interfere with or derail our future efforts.

This kind of thinking gives too much power to our past, keeps us in its grips, and arrests our ability to grow, learn and change!

That means that we don’t feel like we can try anything new. We feel like your past is holding us back. Keeping us from your true potential. Standing in the way of your success.

Rewriting Our Limited Belief

Let’s revise the limiting belief into a set of more empowering beliefs.

Limiting Belief:

● “My past will always keep me from creating a brighter future.”

Empowering Beliefs:

● “My past cannot determine what I achieve in the future.”
● “My past is one of my greatest assets.”
● “Lessons from the past make me stronger, wiser.”
● “I can avoid making the same mistakes in the future by looking to the past.”
● “I can learn from my past and adapt and change.”

To rewrite this limiting belief, it is essential that we understand that our past actions have little bearing on our future. This is not to say that the past does not matter. But our past cannot determine what we can or cannot achieve in the future.

We will chat more next week about how to change our thinking.

Martina

Stories We Tell Ourselves: Past Failure Means Future Failure pt 2

You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone.

Close the door on the past.

You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on them.

You don’t let them have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.

Johnny Cash

We will continue to build on last week’s post, where we talked about letting the past rule our present and future choices. I shared a story about how a misstep at age 7 could have changed the whole trajectory of my life if we, my mother and I, had let it. Certainly, I would like to think I would have made the best of that alternative life, but I am not certain I would have found it as satisfying or fulfilling. I know I would not have traveled as much, moved as often, nor would I have met the many marvelous people who later became friends. It would have been a potentially smaller life.

We have the opportunity, almost daily, at home, and certainly at work to look at new and different directions. We shortchange ourselves if our first thoughts are how poorly we have done in the past, rather than seeing the opportunities before us. Opportunities to learn, to do, to expand our lives and our horizons.

I am not a Pollyanna-type thinker. So no, I am not saying that everything we touch will not work out. But we never know until we try. And I can guarantee that I will learn something every time I step out of my comfort zone.

Old Belief:

  • “Past failure means future failure.”

New Beliefs:

  • “My past failures have little bearing on my future.”
  • “Past failures help me avoid future mistakes.”
  • “Through old failures I discover ways that do not work for me”
  • “Each failure teaches me something and brings me one step closer to success.”

The simple truth is that our past failures do not define our current endeavors. Just because we have failed in the past does not mean that we will fail in the future.

Past failures can prove to be an advantage! If nothing else, we discover one way that will not work for us, which means we can avoid that step going forward the next time.

I am sure you have heard the story about Thomas Edison who struggled for years to figure out how to invent a functioning lightbulb. When asked how he kept going despite so much “failure,” he said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” It’s important to adopt a similar belief. You haven’t failed in the past.

How Do We Move Forward?

Action Steps

  • Dig out your journal and write down the ways you think you have “failed” in the past. Determine how each of these failures has brought you closer to success.
  • Resolve that you will not let past failures keep you from pursuing what really matters to you.

Affirmation

I affirm that each past failure has brought me one step closer to success. I am closer to success now than I ever have been in the past.

I refuse to let my past failures keep me from pursuing what really matters to me.

I am committed to my success, regardless of the past.

Next Time

In the next blog, we’ll discover how we can learn from our past and look forward to a bright future.

Chat soon.

Martina

Stories We Tell Ourselves: Past Failure Means Future Failure pt 1

Every event has a purpose and every setback has its lesson. I have realized that failure, whether of the personal, professional, or even spiritual kind, is essential to personal expansion. It brings inner growth and a whole host of psychic rewards.

Never regret your past. Rather, embrace it as the teacher that it is.

Robin S. Sharma

In the last few weeks, we have talked about how time and age do not have to limit us at all! Another story many of us like to find comfort in is, “Once a failure, always a failure.” Let’s unpack this story today and begin to flush it out of our belief system.

If you have ever tried and failed at something in the past, it can become easy to assume that our past failures mean that we will fail again in the future. We accept those past outcomes are guarantees or blueprints for future outcomes. That we are destined to fail at whatever we attempt.

We might be tempted to think, “I always fail at this so why should this time be any different? I am just a failure, a screwup.”

Our limiting story is that our past failure means future failure. We assume that our past fully governs our future. That if something didn’t work in previous attempts, it won’t work in the future.

True story: In the old days, as junior high school approached, we needed to choose academic or general tracts for the rest of our education. I have known what I wanted to do with my life for a long time but had no role model. The academic track required taking a language. I signed up for the academic track but had to get an additional signature from my mother. Apparently, somewhere back in the second grade, I had performed poorly on a standardized test that indicated that I was not up to the challenge of learning a foreign language. This did not make any sense to me, so I petitioned my mother, who acquiesced, signed the papers for me, and the rest, as they say, is history. How different life would have been we/ I had accepted that previous failure as a true indication of my capabilities going forward. This is not to say it has all been easy. But we get to make important choices over and over that can change the course of our lives. And those choices should be based on truth and fact, and not some historical misstep.

Now let’s rewrite this limiting belief into empowering beliefs.

Old Story:

  • “Past failure means future failure.”

New Empowering Story:

  • “My past failures have no bearing on my future.”
  • “Past failures help me avoid future mistakes.”
  • “I’ve simply discovered a way that doesn’t work.”
  • “Each failure brings me one step closer to success.”

The simple truth is that your past failures do not have any bearing on your current endeavors. Just because we have failed in the past does not mean that we will fail in the future.

Let that marinate a bit…

Chat next week

Martina

Stories We Tell Ourselves: I’m Too Old To Start Something New (part 2)

You are never too old to set another goal,

or to dream a new dream.

C.S. Lewis

Picking up on last week’s theme, let’s continue talking about being too old to try something new.

To begin rewriting this false narrative, we need to realize that being older gives us a little more wisdom about things; if we are lucky and if we are paying attention to life’s lessons. We can have more to offer in many situations, a broader skill set, and more experience.

Here’s the thing:

  • Our greatest obstacle in life are often ourselves. We get in our own way.
  •  We should seriously think about what we might really be afraid of in any given situation. Are we afraid
    • We won’t be good/great/ perfect
    • Afraid to try something new/ different
    • That time will run out before we complete the task/ master the skill
  • Next year, when we have not started this new thing, and we will be a year older still thinking about this same burning goal
    • We will not have started writing
    • Or signed up for pottery (or other) class
    • Stepped onto the stage
    • Insert your aspiration here: ______________________
  • What is stopping us? Why are we keeping this story alive?

Let us rethink this limitation that holds us in place and turn it into an empowering belief by honestly assessing what age and time bring to the table of our newest aspirations.

Restrictive Belief:

● “I’m too old to accomplish anything new.”

Empowering Beliefs:

● “My age gives me the benefit of wisdom.”
● “I have gained experience over the years.”
● “I can avoid mistakes that younger people make.”
● “My varied experience will allow me to prioritize and learn things faster.”
● “I’m never too old to learn something new.”

Your new belief system says: “I can start something new at any age. I have the experience and wisdom to achieve anything I want, regardless of my age.”

Action Steps

● Write down all the things you want to achieve.

● Write down any clear advantages you have because of your age. Include your experiences and the lessons you have learned through those experiences.

● Think about the many things you have already achieved in your life and let these stand as encouragement as you try out new things.

● Affirm every day that you are enough!

● Read stories about others who have achieved great things at an older age.

Affirmation

I can start something new at any age. In fact, my age gives me a few advantages over someone younger.

I appreciate the experience and wisdom that age has provided me.

I reject the lie that my age limits me or my growth.

As I look back on my life, I see all the things I have already accomplished, and this instills me with greater confidence that I can achieve new things as well.

Looking Forward

Now that we can see more clearly how to keep time and age from stopping us, we will move on to changing how we think about our failure in the next session.

Chat soon.

Martina

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