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Martina McGowan MD

life lived by the Book

Dear Heart, Giving Ourselves Permission to Cache, Reset, and Rest

Last week I was working at my computer doing some writing, revising, reorganizing, and general catching up. This activity involved rearranging many files. Because as we change, the way we see how things are related changes. At least that’s been my experience with computer files, things, and people. We all change…

As anyone could have predicted, my file movement started to slow down, a little, then a lot. Then my printer started to act out. I found that I was putting more and more effort into the project while getting diminishing returns. Admittedly, it has been a busy couple of weeks, and I was probably already a little tired before I started.

As my frustration mounted, it eventually dawned on me that the issue may not lie with my poor computer skills, but with the abuse of my computer. I had not emptied the cache(s) on my computer, nor reviewed my browsing history in quite some time. I did those things, and miracle of miracles things started to flow smoothly again. I was able to get back into a kind of rhythm.

This, of course, had not fully addressed the real problem. I was tired. And, it didn’t take long before I was struggling again. I was making silly, simple mistakes that kept bogging me down.

Ultimately, I realized that I needed to take the same approach I had used on my computer and apply it to myself.

I needed to empty the cache, rest, and allow for a reset.

“Some people have compassion

for even strangers,

but not for their own bodies.”

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

I had to give myself permission to take time off.

To stop.

To rest.

To not continue to work the “To Do” List.

I had to give myself permission to not do anything.

Of course, I thought I would get back to work as the day progressed and after some of the weariness wore off. But that was not the case.

A full day of rest, respite, and renewal was required.

The next morning, I was able to get up and get right back into my planned activities.

We forget that we get tired and use up all our physical and psychic energy. We tend to continue to press on and push forward, even when there is nothing left for us to give.

We must know when and how to give ourselves permission to not continue.

Permission to say that it is OK for us (or someone else) to stop and take a break.

Or, maybe we need permission to dance.

Permission to feel, to think, to breathe.

Permission to live your purpose.

Permission to come home to self.

Permission to show ourselves compassion, kindness, a little grace, and a little mercy.

The world and the work will go on if it is meant to.

As we get older, we usually get better at doing this for other people, but we forget to think about taking care of ourselves.

So, in case you cannot do it for yourself, I am giving you permission to take some time for yourself.

TAKE CARE OF YOU!

Rest. Ovid.

We feel so much better when we take care of ourselves. We then have the opportunity to return to our tasks invigorated, with renewed strength, better focused, and with an open mind and heart.

“Almost everything will work again

if you unplug it for a few minutes,

including you.”

Anne Lamott

What do you do when things just aren’t working?

Have a burning question, a topic you want discussed, or a comment? Hit me up in the comment section.

Want to know more about what these letters and notes to DearHeart are all about and why I write them? Go to Dear Heart Letters- What Are They?

I don’t write these every week, and I don’t always promote them on my other social media platforms. Please share and subscribe.

Chat soon…

Martina

Eliminating These 5 Toxic Thoughts Can Help Bring You Peace

And that’s what we want, isn’t it? Peace! Peace in our minds, peace in our spirits. But toxic thinking pulls us away from that.

Toxic thoughts can stop us from enjoying life, peace of mind, and finding true happiness. Such negative thoughts and emotions drain us. They can affect each experience we have and make us feel resentful of the people around us.

“To build self-esteem,

you have to outface your negative beliefs about

yourself and change them.”

Asmaa Dokmak

Beware of these toxic thoughts and use counter-strategies to increase your happiness:

  1. I’ll always be alone. Being lonely and feeling isolated at times are normal human emotions. However, they become toxic when we think that things will always be this way, or that we will always feel this way.
    • This toxic thought can make us feel that we’re the only person on the planet. It can make us believe that we’ll never find love or a partner. And it can stop us from feeling joy.
    • Instead of thinking we will always be alone, we need to turn that focus to what we already have.
      • Do you have loving parents or siblings?
        • Do you have amazing friends or coworkers?
  2. I hate my body. Hating our bodies can be one of the most toxic thoughts in our minds. It can lead to eating disorders, self-esteem issues, and other challenges. We all can find imperfections in how we look, but it’s important to avoid dwelling on them.
    • Understand that our bodies are a gift. It’s part of what makes us unique.
    • Notice the things you do like about your body.
      • Accentuate those characteristics, focus on them, and you’ll find it easier to start loving the body you already have.
  3. I’m not happy with my career. Our jobs can make us feel unhappy, but it’s another toxic thought.
    • Try to avoid thinking about how much you hate your work.
    • Of course, you may pursue a different career path.
      • If you choose this path, seek out new work without dwelling on your hatred for the current job.
    • Follow your passion for a new career without anger, resentment, or animosity.
    • It’s always better to go toward something rather than running away from something else.
  4. I’m not worthy. This toxic thought can wear many outfits. We may feel that we are not worthy of love, success, money, or other things. We may believe that we always have to suffer and struggle. We may ultimately decide that we’re not meant for greater things. However, this toxic thought can stop us from enjoying life and finding happiness.
    • These feelings of worthlessness are only in your mind.
      • You’re a unique person who has value, but you’ve convinced yourself otherwise.
    • Often, this toxic thought comes from what we think others are thinking about us.
      • We falsely assume that others don’t see any value in us, so our self-esteem sinks to a low level. Self-esteem is an individual’s sense of competence and confidence in one’s own worth or abilities. It is self-respect.
      • You are worthy!!
    • Consider starting a new game:
      • Congratulate yourself every time you do something right!
      • Find things that you do satisfactorily. Even small ones count.
        • For example, if you made a tasty breakfast, congratulate yourself.
        • If you like the outfit you’re wearing, kudos to you for picking out something nice.
        • Let your thoughts dwell on what you do right!
  5. I don’t have enough. This toxic thought can manifest itself in many different ways, such as thinking we don’t have enough money, smarts, skills, talents, or abilities. We may also begin to think that we don’t have enough connections, friends, children, or things.
    • Scarcity thoughts stop us from appreciating what we already have around us.
    • This can infect every area of our lives. We may have or feel
      • a scarcity mindset at work
      • a scarcity mindset around food
      • a scarcity mindset about money
      • a scarcity mindset about love
    • This feeling prevents us from finding joy in being thankful for the things we do have.
    • With these thoughts, we may never feel that we have enough material possessions or people to love, regardless of how many we actually have.
    • While we can certainly strive for more, it is important to also be thankful for what we do have.

“It is not always possible to do away with negative thinking,

but with persistence and practice,

one can gain mastery over them

so that they do not take the upper hand.”

Stephen Richards

Toxic thoughts are easy to create and often hard to eliminate. They can overwhelm us if we aren’t careful.

If toxic thinking has gotten hold of you, and taken over your mind, your time, or your heart, it is important that you take action to chase them out. Push them out of your mind, not just bury them.

Toxic thoughts, gary chan

What to do instead…

  • Notice when these toxic thoughts arise.
  • Immediately, switch that thought to one that’s more positive and uplifts you.
  • Meditate, repeat affirmations, and try using some of the suggestions above to loosen their grip.
  • Do these actions consistently, and soon you’ll find that things work out for your benefit more often.

“Don’t ever stop believing in your own transformation.

It is still happening even on days you may not

realize it or feel like it.”

Lalah Delia

What toxic thoughts are holding you in place? Keeping you stuck? Keeping you from moving forward?

You are not alone…

Comment and subscribe below.

Chat soon…

Martina

Photo by Gary Chan on Unsplash

We All Need Hope

Hope Brightens my life

Hope brightens my days. An affirmation…

Thanks for listening. I always hope it helps.

Chat soon…

Martina

How to Keep Your Mental Health Boosted During the Holidays

“If you want others to be happy,

practice compassion.

If you want to be happy,

practice compassion.”

Dalai Lama

The holidays can be very challenging for many of us. We may have ongoing concerns about our weight, trepidation about reuniting with some of our family members, fears about work, anxieties about money, worries about life in general, and any number of other things. Life can be tough! The good news is that, even with all this stuff going on, we can keep our mental health strong and vibrant during the holiday season.

We can still find great joy during the busiest of seasons by actively making some positive choices. Joy comes from within, and taking control of our lives brings us both confidence and joy. During the holiday season, though, it can seem like our lives spin completely out of control so easily. There’s always too much to do, and people can be more demanding of our time and energy.

Use the following steps to help protect and preserve your mental health during the holidays:

  • Remember the value of quiet time. One of the biggest stressors we may face when the holidays are in full swing is the lack of personal space and time. It’s easy to get wrapped up in everyone else’s drama and not take any time for ourselves. Take time for yourself so that you will have the energy to pour into the lives of others.
  • Take a few minutes each day to unwind and relax. You’ll be happier and more interested in doing things with others if you withdraw periodically.
  • Find time to pursue your inner peace. Choose whatever works best for you. You can pray, meditate, do tai chi, exercise, just sit and watch television, doodle, or read a book. No matter what you do in your downtime, remember that setting that time aside is vital and restorative.

The Busy Holiday Season is Only Temporary

The holidays require more of your time and effort, but the season will soon pass. Keep your head up when you’re doing all the extra things you have to do. Those extras will only be required for a few weeks. Things will get back to normal and life’s balance will be more easily restored.

If you’re having trouble coping with the holiday season, do the things you’d normally do when the holidays are over. That way, you’ll feel more focused and your routine will be more familiar to you.

For example, consider:

  • Exercising each day to stay fit and work off any accumulated stress. A little sweat goes a long way in relieving tension.
  • Getting your work done on time, so you’re not frustrated and overly busy at home. And so that you’re not dragging work into your home along with its associated stress.
  • Keeping your house picked up, so you have less to do after the holidays are over.
  • Eating right will provide your body with the fuel it needs for energy. Try not to indulge in more junk food than usual.
  • Planning something special so you can relax after the holidays are over.
  • Saying affirmations daily in order to help promote a positive attitude. It may feel silly at first, but you’ll soon see the benefits of incorporating a little positive thinking into your daily routine. Take a few minutes each morning when you get up or before you go to bed to compliment yourself. I add them to the blog periodically, so they are sprinkled throughout the site. But here are two to get you started:

There are plenty of avenues we can choose to keep our mental health strong.

Your mental health and strength are very important to you and to the people who rely on you. Because of that, you have to try to keep yourself refreshed and energized, especially during the holiday season. And, give yourself the time and space to take a break from things when you need it.

Focusing on what matters to us and paying attention to what’s really important is essential to keeping ourselves mentally healthy.

If you feel you need help or someone to talk to right this minute, don’t delay!! Dial or text 988, The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline!!

“Take the first step.

You don’t have to see the whole stairway.

Just take the first step.”

Martin Luther King

What methods do employ to keep it all together?

Comment.

Share this post with someone who might benefit from it.

Subscribe.

Chat soon…

Martina

4 Ways to Save Money On Your Holiday Feasts

Thanksgiving is an important holiday for many families because it provides a rare opportunity for family members and friends to gather.

Unfortunately, because you’re likely to be feeding many people a several-course meal, Thanksgiving dinner can become expensive quickly!

With a little effort, we can cut down on costs and still have a truly enjoyable meal we can be proud of.

BUY AND SERVE MORE IN-SEASON VEGETABLES.

✴ Fresh artichoke hearts, white asparagus, and similar out-of-season vegetables are going to be costly during this season. Choose wallet-friendly, seasonal vegetables instead. Choose things like celery root, turnips, and parsnips, and roast them to create a casserole or a soup. Try something different.

✴ My family likes greens. I can remember my mom making collard greens and ham hocks as part of our extended family feast. And they were good. The best thing is that collard and mustard greens, along with many other varieties are in-season, wallet-friendly, and can be made into healthier versions of our childhood favorites. Instead of using unhealthy fats, embellish your dishes with garlic, onions, or soup bases to get those evocative flavors you remember. It takes a little more work, but it is worth the exercise. Plus you’ll pass along good cooking and eating habits to friends and family.

MAKE YOUR OWN STUFFING AND GRAVY.

✴ Buying boxed and canned products can quickly become a costly venture. And we all know that premade and boxed dressings don’t hold a candle to that old family recipe you loved, and you know it!! There are thousands of places to get recipes- family members, cookbooks, and online. Additionally, checking in with an older family member will certainly brighten their day. Just don’t wait until the last minute to do it.

✴ My family, originally from the south, favors a sausage dressing. When I was growing up, we didn’t have day-old bread just lying around. I remember spending days in front of our 2-hole toaster getting enough bread hardened before chopping it up and mixing it with the other ingredients. I can now buy bread, already hard, already cubed, seasoned, and unseasoned, saving one huge step. Because I miss the flavors, and the memories they evoke, I still use parts of our old family recipe. And, even if we decide not to have a huge turkey with sausage stuffing, this same recipe makes a great side dish or casserole. There are often simple, inexpensive solutions for almost every cooking dilemma. 

✴Make gravy from pan drippings and the savings will add up quickly. Don’t have pan drippings, once again this is where vegetable and meat broths and soup bases can boost the flavor.

CHANGE IT TO A BRUNCH AND/OR MAKE IT A POTLUCK.

Toast Muffin

✴ Try something different. Suggest having a holiday brunch buffet instead of the usual huge, heavy sit-down meal. Consider appetizers, casseroles, and maybe mimosas, real and virgin. Everyone can still contribute by bringing something they made, or a singular item they bought.

✴ Let each guest bring something and you’re bound to have more than enough delicious food to go around without having to overextend everyone’s budget.

SKIP SOME OF THE MADNESS BY SHOPPING EARLY.

✴ When you start buying the ingredients you need for your holiday feasting early, you have additional time to watch for sales, markdowns, and special deals. For example, you may be able to buy your turkey at a steep discount if you buy it ahead of time and freeze it. The same goes for hams and rock cornish hens.

If you make a plan and are mindful of the costs of things, you can cut down on expenses and still create a truly wonderful holiday meal for your family and friends. Making things from scratch, while more time-consuming, can save you a lot of money in the long run.

Try a new way of getting through the holidays. For example, try incorporating one of these ideas in your Thanksgiving meal planning, and then try another for the Christmas meal.

REMEMBER YOUR “WHY.”

“Family gathers to share good noise and good food.

Gratitude abounds.”

Richelle E. Goodrich

Please always keep in mind that the most important part of all this food and gathering is just that, gathering. The celebration is not about the trappings of the day or the expensive gifts, but about being with the people we know and care about, as well as those we don’t know well, but still care about. 

The camaraderie and love we share with others is what gets us through the day, through the year, and through the tough times. 

The essence of spending quality holiday time together is being in the presence of people who know us and care about our well-being. Keep this thought foremost in your mind as you trudge through the mall or the grocery store. The food is but a small part of the atmosphere we are trying to create.

One of the things we aim to focus on this season is how to keep our quest for a better life frugal.

As you know, I love learning new things.

Do you have something to add to this list about how to save money during the holiday season? Please hit me up in the comments.

And, don’t forget to subscribe. Thanks.

Chat soon…

Martina

Images:

  1. Image by -Rita-👩‍🍳 und 📷 mit ❤ from Pixabay
  2. Image by Marlita Annette from Pixabay
  3. Image by Sonja Rieck from Pixabay
  4. Image by abdulla binmassam from Pixabay

How to Use Journaling as a Path to Our Own Personal Growth

 

Journaling is a powerful tool that too few people take full advantage of. It can sometimes seem like a silly waste of time. However, journaling provides tons of benefits and a surprising number of highly successful people make journaling a daily habit.

We can learn a lot about ourselves and gain a lot of insight into our lives. There’s something magical about writing that thinking alone just doesn’t have.

“All the noise in my brain. I clamp it to the page so it will be still.”

Barbara Kingsolver

While we can choose to type our journal entries into our computers, most people find it much more effective to use an actual pen (or pencil) and paper to write out their thoughts, feelings, and insights.

The main thing we want to talk about today is, “How do I get started?” Here are a few suggestions

1. Review your day. Take a look at your day and make some notes. Most of us don’t carry our private journals with us all day for fear that someone might peek into them. I often use sticky notes, a small pad I keep in my bag, or a folder on my phone to jot things down as the day progresses. That may mean a special event, an odd occurrence, a “fantastic” line I hear or read, something preying on my mind or heart, anything…

● What happened?
● How can I use this event or knowledge in the future?
● What did I learn?
● What mistakes did I make?
● How can tomorrow be a little better than today?

A number of years ago, on a tour in China, I began pasting memorabilia of the day into my journal. Sometimes it was the logo from the corner of a napkin or program, a matchbook cover, or a colorful flyer.   My friend and traveling companion called this “journaling with bits.” It gave me a vivid reminder of what happened during the day. And they are fun to look back through all these years later. The sight and touch of these objects stir up powerful and vivid memories and stimulate my writing.

These are a few examples…

  • Haiti 1 1999
  • Card in 1999 journal
  • Haiti 2 1999

The remarkable thing is that these moments helped me grow at the time they happened and they continue to feed me as I review them.

2. List progress toward your goals. Think about and list your goals. Be specific! Write down the progress you made today toward each goal. If you failed to do anything to make progress toward one or more of your goals, make a note of that, too. This is just as important. It helps bring clarity to either the goal or to the obstacles standing in our way. In this way, we can begin to sort out what to do differently.

● Be proud of the progress you’ve made.
● Become more determined by the progress you failed to make.

3. Address fears. Write about your fears. What are you afraid of? Why do you think you’re afraid of those things? How do your fears impact your life? What is the plan to address those fears?

“I did then what I knew how to do.

Now that I know better, I do better.”

Maya Angelou

4. Choose one way to enhance yourself. Pick something you want to work on and work on it. Write about it in your journal. Perhaps you want to lose 10 pounds or strengthen your communication skills.

● Choose something that would enhance your life and write about your thoughts, plans, and progress.

5. List your goals each day. Writing down your goals each day is a powerful way to stay focused on them. Write your 10 most important goals each day and notice how they evolve over time. Write growth goals. What new or different things do you want to do or try? Or maybe you’d like a do-over, or a do-better next time, now that you know better.

6. List three things that make you feel grateful today. What are you grateful for? Make a list of several items each day and notice how your perspective on life changes.

7. Write about the obstacles in your life. What’s standing in your way? List the obstacles in your life that you believe are blocking you from happiness or achieving your goals.

8. Make a plan for the future. Aside from your specific goals, what does your dream life look like? How are you planning on getting there? Think about it and sketch out a plan.

9. Write about what is causing you to feel negative emotions. What is getting you down? What are the situations, people, habits, and beliefs that are causing you the most grief? Why do these things bother you? What can you do about them?

10. List the best thing and the worst thing that happened today. What are these two things and what was so great or terrible about them?

11. Use journaling prompts. There are literally thousands of journaling prompts online you can choose to use at any time. Here are a few examples to get you started:

● Make a travel bucket list.
● List five things you appreciate about each member of your family.
● Describe your ideal day.
● If I could speak to my teenage self, I would say…
● I wish that others knew I…
● I wish I could say no to…

Journaling Aesthetics

Sorting out how to make a habit of journaling every day will take some time, but it’s time well spent. Start small. Perhaps take 1 or 2 of the suggestions above to begin your process. Consider starting with reviewing your day (#1) and gratitude (#6).

“Your journal is like your best friend. You don’t have to pretend with it,

you can be honest and write exactly how you feel”

Bukola Ogunwale

Every suggestion will not work for everyone. You will want to keep your writing to a set amount of time, say time 3-20 minutes. Try not to turn this into an additional chore or hardship for your already overfilled day and overtaxed mind.

You will figure out what is important for your own journal, your own style, and your own life. This is but one building block in constructing the lives we want to lead.

By developing a routine that incorporates journaling into your life, it won’t be long before you begin noticing The Real Benefits of Keeping a Journal, of Writing to Yourself. Do what the many successful people in the world do and write about your thoughts and your life.

Please subscribe.

Chat soon…

Martina

Photo by pure julia on Unsplash

Affirmation for Today: I Move Toward Balance

Today is a good day to start doing something!

Today is a good day to review some of the items we have discussed so far and see what “sticks. Thus far we’ve talked about:

It will take time and effort to begin to implement any of these things into your busy life.

What You Do Today Can Improve All Your Tomorrows

Our goals are peace of mind and a richer life. Only you can define what that means specifically. Is it more money, more time with your family, doing more of the things you love, or a different job?

Do not try to incorporate all the ideas at once.

Choose something you’ve been wanting to chip away at for a while. Today is that day!!

“Problems arise in that one has to find a balance between what people need from you and what you need for yourself.” 

Jessye Norman

Today, like any day, is a good day for some words of affirmation to help keep us on track.

You may listen to the audio here:

I Move Toward Balance

Or you may view it on YouTube.

Use it in whatever manner that works best for you. Here are a few suggestions…

  • Listen to the audio recording here.
  • Play the audio or video version, and say to affirmation to yourself aloud d in front of a mirror.
  • Use some of the lines as prompts in your journal or diary.
  • Use the affirmation to start the day.
  • Use the affirmation to keep going when things get challenging.
  • Take a few of the phrases and start to build your own mantra as you pursue the life you desire.
  • Add it to your affirmation board.
  • How do you use affirmations?
    • If there are other ways in which you use affirmations, please share with us in the comments.
  • Also, if you have a preference for how I deliver the affirmations, written out, audio, and/or video, please let me know in the comments.

Once again, here’s the link to today’s affirmation video, Today’s Affirmation: I Move Toward Balance.

All of life is a work in progress.

If this blog series has been of benefit to you, please comment, share, and subscribe.

Stay safe.

Chat soon…

Martina

Image by Quang Nguyen vinh from Pixabay

The Real Benefits of Keeping a Journal, of Writing to Yourself

One of the methods we have touched upon in the last few weeks to track our progress and start taking an active position in our lives has been to journal; the fine art of writing to yourself and thinking out loud.

Today I’d like to talk a little more about the real benefits of doing this activity. I have a few reasons for bringing this up now. The end of the year is fast approaching. For each of us, some significant things have happened in the past year(s) and we don’t want to completely forget about them. The holiday/family season is about to begin. There will be memories rekindled, old family stories to be told/retold/shared, and all else that goes with quality family time. We will want to preserve some of those things and think more deeply about others.

Some people find journaling appealing while others think it sounds like an incredibly boring activity. If you don’t currently write in a journal regularly, you may want to reconsider. There are many benefits to recording your thoughts, life, and aspirations daily.

Journaling can help our memory, improve our problem-solving ability, boost our achievements, and support our emotional and physical health.

Benefits to consider:

  1. A journal serves as a record of our lives. Have you ever thought back to your high school or college days and thought, “What was his/ her name?” Or have you ever wondered if a particular event happened in 1996 or 1997 or 1976? A journal is a useful way to record the significant events in our lives.
  2. A journal can be cathartic. When we get the tough stuff down on paper, whether it’s a difficult situation or a list of unpleasant tasks, we feel better. Journaling gives our emotional health a quick boost.
  3. We can view challenges in a new way. Things look different in our heads than they do on paper or on the computer screen. It’s a little less personal when we can view things from a distance. We will often find that many of our challenges aren’t as daunting as we first thought.
  4. We can see our progress. When we record our thoughts and our life events, they’re right there in front of us. It’s easy to see how much life is, or isn’t, progressing. Just looking back at our old entries can tell us a lot about ourselves. When we keep a journal, we quickly see our behavioral patterns and tendencies, for good or bad.

“Journaling is like whispering to one’s self and listening at the same time.”

Mina Murray

5. We will make progress. When we record the most important happenings for the day, we start to make new things happen. We are embarrassed or annoyed with ourselves if we keep recording the same old boring story each day. We will try new things just to have something interesting to write about.

6. We will achieve more. Studies have shown that just writing out our goals significantly increases the likelihood of achieving them and expanding them.

7. Journaling organizes our thoughts and improves our problem-solving abilities. We can clear away some of the clutter in our heads when we journal, and our subconscious can begin working on new solutions to a challenge.

8. Our memory will improve. If we reflect on life at the end of the day and record it, we are much more likely to remember it. It’s a great workout for our brains and an effective way to remember more of life’s activities and beauty.

9. We can leave them to our children. Depending on the types of things we choose to write about, we might want to leave our journals to our children or other family members.

10. Journaling can lead to improved health. There is a study out of the University of Auckland that showed that writing in a journal can lead to faster wound healing and minimize the symptoms of several ailments, including asthma and irritable bowel syndrome.

“Writing in a journal gives me a place to report, interpret, argue, reflect, save, question, predict, unload, praise, compare, cry, laugh, draw, paint, and remember.”

Luci Swindoll

Consider using pen and paper instead of a computer for your journal. While using a computer seems more convenient, physically writing with a pen or pencil engages our minds at a higher level. You will find that there is a lot of hype about what type of journal you may want to use, especially this time of year. Start plain and cheap. Grab some blank paper or a less-than-a-dollar composition notebook, and your favorite pen or pencil, and simply begin. You can sort out those other details later.

A journal is a great way to organize your thoughts and record your life. Try journaling for a full month and then make an evaluation. Decide for yourself if you want to continue, modify, or call it quits. In a future post, I’ll talk more about getting started.

Don’t let the minutiae of getting started stand in your way!! Grab some paper and start today.

Question: If you’ve never tried journaling, after reading about some of these benefits, would you consider giving it a try? Why or why not? Please share in the comments.

In a few weeks, we will talk more about using our own words as opportunities to know ourselves and explore life.

Links to Consider-

Dear Heart, The Season is Upon Us

6 Small Steps to Find Balance … Remember, there is a downloadable worksheet with this one.

If you find our blog helpful, please consider subscribing below.

Chat soon …

Martina

Photo by Shifa Sarguru on Unsplash

Start Thinking About Gift-Giving in October

There are so many things pulling at us and vying for our attention, it is hard to decide where to begin. Let’s begin with where we are today, and start by pulling on one thread at a time. First, some sage advice from one of my favorite writers…

“This is one more piece of advice I have for you: don’t get impatient. Even if things are so tangled up you can’t do anything, don’t get desperate or blow a fuse and start yanking on one particular thread before it’s ready to come undone. You have to realize it’s going to be a long process and that you’ll work on things slowly, one at a time.”

Haruki Murakami

I live in the real world where I know that money is tight for everyone these days. Outside of a few birthdays scattered throughout the year, the hardest financial hits for most of us come during November, December, and January. The Holiday Season.

I am old. I grew up with a mom who used a Christmas savings club. A meager sum of money put away weekly provided grand meals and more than adequate gifts for everyone every year. With a little tweaking, I try to continue to use some of the systems and strategies I learned as a child as I work to impact the lives of my children and grandchildren.

I know it’s a little late in the year to consider this approach, but it’s something to keep in mind for January of next year. Back to now…

The best way to eliminate a lot of the financial stress associated with planning for the holiday season is to get the ball rolling early.

When we want to make the holidays an enjoyable experience for ourselves and our families, a little bit of forethought does go a long way. I have included Thanksgiving not so much for gift-giving as for the hit our food budgets take.

The Strategy

When we start thinking about Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Year’s Eve a couple of months early, we should be able to keep an eye out for great deals and promotions ahead of time. Plus, when we have a holiday game plan set up in October and deal with the biggest tasks well in advance, we can enjoy the season and the festivities without rushing around at the last minute.

When we have a step-by-step plan of action, getting through the planning and shopping aspects of the season will be simpler and less stressful.

Vision, venture,step

Try these tips for planning for your gift-giving in October:

1. Create a budget early. A solid spending plan will contribute heavily to having stress-free and debt-friendly holidays. Begin your seasonal planning by looking over your finances and determining how much you can afford to spend. This seems obvious, but it is the place where most of us immediately go wrong and overspend. Be brutally honest with yourself, as this budget must carry you through into the New Year.

Address all aspects of the holiday season in your budget. This includes gift-giving, entertainment, food, greeting cards, and anything else you need. This will ensure that you don’t engage in wasteful overspending in November or December.

2. Formulate a gift list. Create a list of everyone you plan to give a gift to and compare it to your gift-giving budget. Set a spending limit for each person on your list and trim the list if your budget cannot support it. Jot down a few gift ideas for each person and run them against your budget before you begin shopping.

3. Readdress your budget. As the weeks go by, keep track of your holiday spending. There are dozens of free or cheap apps you can use for tracking your expenses. Or make a simple flow sheet tallying the expenses as they occur. AS THEY OCCUR is the important bit!

How does this stack up against your budget? How much money do you have left? Is your budget currently on track, or are you in danger of overspending?

You may need to make tweaks to your budget as you go, which is completely normal. But instead of raising the amount of money in your budget, the amount of money you have to spend, shift your priorities instead.

4. Start shopping early. The earlier you shop, the more time you will have to find the right budget-friendly gift. This will allow you to search for sales and bargains on the gifts you intend to give. If you want a budget-friendly holiday shopping experience, be ready to spend some time looking around, comparison shopping, and using coupons throughout the season.

5. Plan the party early. A great deal of planning is required for holiday get-togethers. Plan early and address your plans often to ensure that everything falls into place. Create a budget and a step-by-step guide for planning the occasion. Ask for help when you need it.

When it comes to the holiday season, planning and preparation go a long way. Put some thought into your holiday season in October and you’ll be a lot better off when December and January roll around. There’s no reason to get overwhelmed with the holiday planning process by waiting until the last moment.

Consider gift-giving in October 2

Avoid procrastination and get a jump on a stress-free, budget-friendly holiday season. This is the best way to ensure that you can enjoy the holidays with your family and friends rather than focusing on what you have spent.

Let’s work together to make individual blueprints of our best lives going forward.

If you have other suggestions or questions, please hit me up in the comment section below.

If you find this blog helpful, please consider sharing these tips and becoming a subscriber.

Chat soon…

Martina

Other Links to Consider

Photos:

  1. Image by Jill Heyer from Pixabay
  2. Image by Yvette Fang from Pixabay

6 Small Steps to Take to Find Balance in Your Life and Relationships… Again

We all go through periods when life feels out of control and imbalanced. It’s perfectly normal! But how can we achieve and maintain balance in these hectic times?

Understanding what balance truly means is the first step toward creating a balanced lifestyle. Life balance doesn’t necessarily mean giving equal amounts of time or attention to each part of your life. That’s a myth!

Life balance is about knowing when to give a little more effort, when it’s time to call it a day, and when everything feels just right.

Here are six tips that can help you strike a better balance in your life:

Make Time for Yourself

Know for a certainty that you are important and valuable. Taking care of your own happiness (and sanity) is an essential part of creating a balanced life. Even if it’s just two hours each week, put everyone else’s needs aside and focus on yourself!

Take a candlelit bubble bath while having a glass of wine and catching up on your favorite guilty pleasure reading. For me, that would be science fiction and/or a murder mystery. Maybe just take your dog to the park.

Do whatever helps you unwind and enter a mindset of total relaxation.

Strive For a Healthier Lifestyle

Exercise and a conscious diet are both necessary to remain healthy and happy. Set aside a specific amount of time each week to exercise. Work your way up to doing something every day. Your workout can be anything at all if it keeps you active.

If eating healthy is a challenge, avoid bringing unhealthy food into the house. You can’t be tempted by something if it isn’t in your home. Not only will it keep your heart healthy and your waistline under control, but it will promote healthy eating habits in your children and friends.

Leave Work at Work

There is a reason you have a work schedule. Whether you work for yourself or someone else, your employer is only willing to pay you for a specific amount of time each day. Do your family a favor and leave work at work. Avoid overworking yourself if there isn’t a pot of gold waiting for you at the end of the rainbow.

If you find that there aren’t enough hours in the workday to maintain your responsibilities, find a way to strengthen your productivity while at the office. If this proves to be fruitless, explain your situation to your boss. They may be willing to pay you for an extra hour each day or lessen your workload. If you’re self-employed, or in a hybrid situation, consider restructuring, reorganizing, or delegating what you can.

Make Time for Love

Rekindle romance by making thoughtful gestures. Bring home a candle, send flowers to the workplace, or maybe even hire a cleaning service so your family members can spend more time doing the things they love. Spend quality, uninterrupted time with those you love.

Simply watching TV together isn’t enough. It is important that you do something meaningful for everyone concerned. If you don’t know what might be meaningful to them anymore, ask for suggestions. Then spread them out and execute them in your own special way.

Live Within or Beneath Your Means

If your finances are causing you stress, and who isn’t stressed by finances these days, it is way past time to reassess your budget. Make budget cuts to proactively work towards achieving your financial goals. If you haven’t set any specific financial goals, it is time to do that as well.

Eliminate obvious splurges, like streaming service upgrades, and pricey cell phone plans. Cut down on your energy bill by turning down the thermostat and doing laundry less frequently.

Live within, or beneath, your means and feel the relief it brings you!

Socialize

Hanging out with our friends allows us to unwind and have a few laughs. Make it a point to meet up with friends at least once each month. Go out to dinner, or better yet, host a get-together in your home.

Leading an unbalanced lifestyle is one of our leading causes of stress. The inability to cope with stress can cause many health problems, such as weight gain, migraines, high blood pressure, and even heart issues.

You can make yourself the exception. You can ward off health problems by nipping stress in the bud.

Life balance doesn’t necessarily mean giving equal amounts of time or attention to each part of your life. Taking care of your own happiness is essential. Understanding what balance truly means is the first step toward creating a balanced lifestyle.

“To put everything in balance is good, to put everything in harmony is better.”

Victor Hugo

With establishing harmony in mind, we’ll talk about some of these things in greater detail in the coming weeks and months.

In the meantime, consider downloading our free pdf, “How to Achieve Balance in Your Life.” Do it now!! You can also turn this into a living document that you fill out at the beginning of every year, for instance, to assess your progress. 

Download Here

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Chat soon…

Martina

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