Self-sabotaging behaviors can keep you from conditioning yourself for success. And changing those long, established and ingrained behavior patterns, like self-sabotage, can be as difficult as recognizing and understanding them. So, how, then, do you go about eliminating your sabotaging beliefs and emotions?
A trip inside
The first order of business is to understand and accept yourself before you can truly to understand and accept others. You have to take a journey within for personal evaluation. This means looking inside yourself and listening to your inner dialog or your self-talk. You must learn to remain open minded to what you see and hear when evaluating and trying to understand your beliefs. This is absolutely essential when you are trying to make constructive changes in your own behaviors.
Deciding how deep and how far you want to go before introspection is up to you. But, you can take your life to a whole new level when you discover empowering insights about yourself that can help you eliminate damaging self-talk and undermining behaviors.
It takes courage…
Deciding to let go of self-sabotaging behaviors that prevent you from changing takes courage and a personal commitment to develop more effective actions. Before you start going around believing that you can change the beliefs and behavior of others, you must first change yourself.
This means overcoming resistances and sabotaging behaviors that have prevented you from experiencing a more optimistic attitude. No matter what obstacles you may face, developing an optimistic attitude, and changing unrewarding behaviors and beliefs, will awaken you to the need to eliminate your self-sabotaging behaviors.
1. Crossroads. Recognize that you are at the crossroads where your decisions and choices are yours and yours alone. Realize that you are the one making the conscious decisions about making changes to your damaging self talk and undermining beliefs and behaviors. No one else can do this for you.
2. Change your internal language. Pay attention and change “I can’t” or “I won’t” to “I Can, I Will” on a consistent basis. Begin to notice the emotional changes going on within you. Be prepared to physically describe your changes and write them down. Repeat the process of writing down your changing feelings and behaviors and compare your notes to follow your progress. Measure your progress by the visible recurrences of positive self-talk and healthier behaviors. Continual negative self-talk will create growing resentments and dis-empowering beliefs. Self-resentment is the seed that grows and eventually flowers into self-sabotaging behaviors.
3. You shall reap what you sow. Plant the seeds that will produce positive, empowering beliefs and actions in you. Honestly ask yourself, “Are my actions linked to pleasure-producing situations or to pain-producing situations?” Take the road that leads you to pleasure, not grief.
The personal growth experienced from facing a fearful or painful event, or adversity, is important for self-improvement. But do not make a steady diet of this alone. You can grow and change by cultivating positive emotions such as joy, excitement, and happiness,also.