“The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.”
Last week we started a two part series on simple techniques that you can use to bolster and boost your self-esteem and confidence (see 12 Tips to boost your confidence and self esteem). Today we will continue with another 13 tips to add to that list. Hopefully, you had time over the weekend to begin to explore which of the initial twelve will serve you best.
People’s lack of confidence in themselves is what often keeps them from getting tightly focused on what they want to achieve. That little voice in their heads, playing that same old, worn out recording telling them that they cannot do something is their biggest UN-motivator and un-doing. So, what can YOU do to gain confidence? Let’s continue…
13. Give credit where credit is due. If you have done something really good, and people compliment you on it, accept the compliments with grace and thanks! Understand that they’re complimenting you because they really ARE impressed with what you’ve done. You absolutely must believe in yourself, and occasionally it really is okay to give yourself a pat on the back. (Although physically it would probably be easier to just give yourself a round of applause).
14. Stand Tall. Standing up straight and tall will ALWAYS make you feel better about yourself than slouching does. Stand with your feet slightly apart, suck in your tummy a bit, broaden your shoulders and straighten your neck. This is an amazingly quick confidence boost.
15. Say Hello. Make it a rule to say, “Hello” to at least one person you don’t know EVERY day. Give them the smile you flash at yourself in the mirror; the biggest and best one you can find, without looking scary. They will usually smile back automatically. They will also walk away with a little extra confidence boost thanks to you.
People look their best when they smile, and they also feel better by smiling too! This means that you get a two-fer confidence boost too, for making someone else feel good about themselves.
16. Never Say Never….Ever. If you think something can’t be done, then you’ll end up proving yourself right eventually. So never say never, just keep plugging along until it works for you. If other people have been telling you it can’t be done, you’re going to feel such immense satisfaction at actually doing it that your confidence will soar.
17. Get Moving. Don’t sit around the house just doing nothing. Get up, go out, cycling, walking, exercising, anything that might invigorate your brain. A lively brain full of lively thoughts will help you gain confidence.
18. “Happy Foods”. Happy foods, like chocolate, strawberries, lemons, ice-cream etc will increase the serotonin levels in your brain, leading to an increased feeling of happiness. Feeling happy is a natural confidence boost. So go on, enjoy your food! (in moderation, of course).
19. Face Your Fear. Is there something that you are afraid of? Face it full on. Doing something scary and overcoming the fear is a fantastic way to boost your confidence. So go on, jump out of that plane (with a parachute of course), drive that car, speak in front of a large crowd, ask for a promotion, or whatever it is that scares you. You’ll feel absolutely brilliant once it’s done. And I am not suggesting that you try to dumb down your fears. I am suggesting that you face it with an open mind, learn about it and then face it. You may not fully conquer your fear the first time out of the gate, but you will understand it and yourself better.
20. Willpower. Focus on a goal that you really want to reach. Possibly something like weight loss before a certain date, or giving up smoking or having a certain amount of money in the bank within so many months, etc. Take baby steps at first and use your willpower until you succeed in reaching your goal.
It will be difficult at times because occasionally willpower can be an elusive entity to grab hold of. But keep going and don’t give up. Once you have reached your first goal by using your willpower, you will have the confidence to create new goals AND reach them.
21. Ask questions. Any time you find yourself worrying about something you haven’t done, or something you think you should have done, instead of stewing over it, try asking yourself positive questions. Instead of thinking “I’m terrible for missing my friend’s birthday” think “What can I do to make my friend feel special?”
Or, instead of “Why can’t I ever seem to do things on time?” change it to “What can I change to better manage my time” Creating positive questions will release the negative energies which have a tendency to pull down your self confidence.
22. Learn. Accept that not everything works out the way we plan it. Decide to accept any mistakes and rejections as part of the learning curve and process that we all must go through. Without making some mistakes, you can’t learn from your own experiences. Remember, experience builds confidence, so always learn as much as you can.
23. List. Write out a list of every single thing you’re good at, anything from clipping the dog’s toenails to putting up a shelf. Take the time to sit and actually think about what you ARE good at and continue to add them all to the list. You’ll be surprised at how many things you end up jotting down, no matter how minor or trivial they may seem at the time. Whenever you have a spare 5 minutes, or if you’re feeling a little low, whip out your list and read it. This is a great little way to give yourself a nice confidence boost.
24. Help out. There are lots of ways to help others, and feeling useful and helpful are great ways of building your confidence. Just make sure you do things because you WANT to do them. You could call a good friend who may be feeling down at the moment and suggest that you go out for coffee together. You will brighten both your days. Perhaps you can offer to help out at an nursing home, a women’s shelter or an assisted living facility. Knowing that people appreciate your help will boost your confidence for sure.
25. Show the way. Think of the one thing you do best of all. Think long and hard about this one. When you have settled on the one thing, find a discussion group or something similarly related to that topic, and spread your wisdom by answering questions, offering advice or helping someone who needs it. If you can’t find a group, consider starting one yourself.
As you self-esteem and confidence grow, people will begin to see you differently, and that will give you all the more reason to feel confident about yourself.