Martina McGowan MD – Page 17 – life lived by the Book

Leadership is an activity… not a position

leadership

To command is to serve,

nothing more and nothing less.

Everyone responds to good leadership! Period! It is in every aspect of your life, not just business. A mother is a leader in her home. A son may be leader of a team sport, or a daughter the leader of her debate team. A group relies on the person in charge to actually lead them to success. A true leader is highly ethical, honest and respected.

In every aspect of society there are leaders and followers. Are we born to be or become one or the other? No! Can you hone your leadership skills? Absolutely! Positively!

What things do we all admire in leaders we respect?

1. They think BIG! They don’t place an automatic ceiling in place. Instead, they look beyond the previous limits to find out how big or how much better something can be.

2. They are firmly focused on their goals.

3. They are clear. They make it known to everyone involved the final product/ goal that the team is working toward. Selling x number of widgets, or winning a football game. Know what you are aiming for.

4. People buy in. They can get compliance to their requests.

5. When goals are met, they celebrate the victory and the people. Then they set new goals or raise the bar.

People willingly follow your lead if you are honest, ethical, reliable, consistent and treat them with a modicum of respect. Rewarding someone when a job is well done is always appreciated.

A few simple rules of the road, and you can improve your own self-respect while becoming an inspiration to others. How great is that!

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Musings + Affirmations: My highest vision of myself is made visible…

Where there is no vision the people perish.

Proverbs 29:18

Affirmation: My highest vision of myself is made visible in all that I do.

I walk in this world with ease and grace, trusting that I am in alignment with my goals.

With every action I take, I see my true self more clearly.

I am thankful for each opportunity to live with integrity. In everything that I do, my highest vision of myself is made real.

In my career, I act with integrity and character. My commitments are important to me, so I make good on each of them. By doing this, I build my sense of self.

At home, I am cheerful, patient, and calm. If I feel challenged by the actions or words of someone I love, I consciously choose to stop and breathe for a moment. I take a moment to ask myself, how I would respond if I was acting as my best self. Then, I act accordingly. This is how I show my family that I love and cherish them, and the time that I can spend with them.

I make good use of my personal time as well. Because I value myself, I dedicate time each week just for myself. I may choose to relax, do some self-development, read a book, or work on a project that I love. Doing these things feeds my sense of self and helps me tap into the energy that propels me through my days.

Today, I show my best qualities to the world.

I intentionally cultivate self-worth, and I see that reflected in all that I do.

Each day, I recommit to living my highest vision of myself.

Homework/ Self-Reflective Questions/ Journal Prompts:

1. What are the qualities I value that I manifest every day?

2. What are some personal characteristics I would like to further develop?

3. How can I increase my sense of self-worth?

Have an awesome week!!!

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Desire more…

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Everyone knows who Michelangelo was, right? Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni was a multi-talented genius. He was a sculptor, painter, architect, poet, and engineer. So if he could already do all of those things, and do them all quite well, what does this quote that is attributed to him mean?

Life is not, or at least it should not be, just about getting stuff. There is so much more to life than owning trinkets, or in the case of most people, being owned by trinkets, gadgets and shiny new toys. What Michelangelo is asking for, I think, is to be given more of what life really has to offer us. More knowledge, more insight, more wisdom, fuller and richer experience. But it is not a longing or pleading kind of desire, it is not greed. It is not needful or boastful. It is a request to be fed, nourished, and continually supplied by the fountains of life, and knowledge, and wisdom, and…. It is a desire to want to be continually filled. Again and again.

He is saying, keep my curiosity piqued, alive and vibrant. Keep my desire to know and do more and be more fresh.

There is so much in life to see, and do, and learn, and experience, and share. Living life is about learning and teaching. From everything and everyone.

What fills your cup and helps you feel satisfied, but ever-open to receiving more?

~ martina

You can become a better leader!

fernando-lamas

Be known for pleasing others, especially if you govern them…

Ruling others has one advantage:

you can do more good than anyone else.

Baltasar Gracián

I have just returned to one of the many “worst” meetings of my life. You know the ones that fall off agenda early in the game, way too many people talking at the same time, little order, no control and last waaaay too long. So I was prompted to write about leadership again tonight. You know, each and every one of us has the potential, opportunity and responsibility to become the best leaders we can. And to abuse one of my favorite mixed metaphors, it’s not rocket surgery. It requires a willingness to put in the work to learn to do and be better.

Fernando Lamas/ Billy Crystal was wrong

A long time ago, Billy Crystal, doing an imitation of Fernando Lamas said, “It is better to look good than to be good.” Unfortunately, many people have bought into this deluded mindset and concentrate on how they look to others rather than focusing on the work and the outcomes. Good leadership is not just about standing in front of the pack, or looking good as the head honcho, or lording your title over others. A good leader must also act. All too frequently, we get sidetracked about how someone looks or sounds as the leader, and all too infrequently do we actually take a look at the actions they perform, or lead others to perform. And, this is the true test of leadership.

How do you become a better leader?

In addition to the ability to lead others, you must also be willing to lead yourself well also. No one succeeds in life by simply following others. Sometimes we simply must strike a bold new path for ourselves. In order for you to become a better leader, you need to concentrate on your actions rather than on simple appearances. Here are a few actions that you may want to consider as you work to improve your leadership style and stance.

1. Keep an open mind about new possibilities

Be diligent and start to pay more attention to what is going on in your surrounds. Keep your eyes and ears open because you never know when, or even exactly how, opportunities may present themselves.

2. Accept all inspiration, as it comes to you

The smartest of leaders make it a regular practice to study their competition. In war, politics, and business you will constantly see examples of research and reconnaissance. However, leaders who are not very skilled in this tend to concentrate on looking for weaknesses they can exploit. If you want to a be a leader of positive change, do not fall victim to this trend. Instead, if you find a weakness, take the lesson from it, and find ways to circumvent it yourself. If you find a particular strength that you think may be useful, then find a way to strengthen your own qualities in this area.

3. As my grandmother used to say, “The day is not wasted if you have learned something.”

Learn something new, or a new way of doing something, every day. This means that you must constantly be looking to expand your horizons, both internally and externally. Feed your mind with new lessons and knowledge, but continue to expand your social horizons as well. Seek out and meet new people and immerse yourself in new social situations. You never know when or how these new experiences will help you in your leadership role.

4. Look deeper

Search for and find new answers in the subtle and sublime. Search beneath the surface answers and constantly question. This is an extension of #3 in that you are still seeking new knowledge. But this also means that you will need to step off the traditional grid of knowledge, out of the proverbial box, outside of your silo. And, don’t just read the stuff that “everybody” in your circle is reading. Take some seminars where there is more room for questioning and debate. Seek out the unconventional thinkers, teachers, and writers.

5. Improvise more

Improvise if there no existing or immediate solution are available. No excuses. Necessity really is the mother of invention. How do you know that your quirky idea will not work if you have never tried it before? Remember, not all approaches need to come from the front. Look at your problem from all angles and systematically try different solutions in varying and different combinations.

6. Make someone happy

Make at least one person that you care about happy every single day. If you make it a point to be thoughtful and caring for one person every day then soon this thoughtful, caring behavior will become a habit for you, and will begin to spread and infect those around you. Making someone else happy also feeds your own personal happiness. Just imagine how much better the world, and especially the workplace, would be if we all did a little bit more to spread happiness.

7. Help without expectation

Offer your assistance, even if there is no apparent gain for you. This means that you have to do more than write a check. It means that you have to give of your time and energy and of yourself. Sometimes it will mean helping someone you don’t know, and sometimes it will be a very personal action.

8. Be positive

Never let negativity be your last word on the subject. If your final words are negative then no matter how hopeful you may be about the potential of a project or action the lasting impression you have left with others is one of negativity. Accentuate the positive and you are more likely to see a positive outcome.

Leadership is not about title or looking good at doing something. In fact, for many, there are no titles or accolades involved in the work they do as leaders. Leadership is about doing the right thing and leading others forward for a common cause. Being, who you are is certainly an important component of leadership, but ultimately leadership is about doing. These steps will help you not only be a better leader to others, but also lead yourself to a more successful life.

Thoughts?

Working through your fear of failure

fear of failure

Our doubts are traitors,

and make us lose the good we oft might win,

by fearing to attempt.

William Shakespeare

Fear of failure is a very common malady. Most people wish to be successful at their endeavors, and for some this means being able to confront this type of fear rather than to give in to it. Part of the issue involved in this fear is being able to handle honest criticism and feedback well. People who fear failure tend to focus on and magnify their errors, mistakes or misstep to the point that they cannot think rationally. People can get so locked up in this type of thinking that they put limits on everything they will attempt to do. Instead of raising the bar of the expectations they hold for themselves, they lower it.

Why is this an important topic to discuss? Because everyone focuses on success, but something, actually a number of things, often stand in the way of achieving that success, and this is one of them. And unless you are able to let go, work around, walk through, or in some way deal with your fear of failure, then you canny make the positive commitments or the positive steps it will take to achieve your desired end result. You must not let your fear of failure get you caught in a negative thought cycle that will end up reducing your ability to reach your real potential. To paraphrase Henry Ford, whether you think you can, or think you can’t, either way, you are right. So, what can you do?

Do something

This fear can immobilize you and hold you hostage. You can become so wrapped up in the fear itself, you spend a great deal of your mental energy on the fear, rather than the activity or task at hand. If this is the case, you are doomed to fail. But, if you never step out and take a chance, if you never even try, then you can neither fail nor succeed. So, soon or late, you must decide to take some decisive action to toward doing something about your fear. If you should fail, then you will have created some increased awareness about the factors holding you in place. If you succeed, then you that is its own reward. although you should celebrate it anyway.

Seek out alternatives

There are always many factors involved in why you fail or succeed at doing something. Regardless, you need to look at your own behavior toward something and the result that you have achieved. But the most important step in this processing is that you take great care not to internalize the failure. You can always get back up and try other alternative methods to achieve your goals. As long as you make the time to investigate the reasons for the failure, you can then consciously choose to adjust your methods for the next attempt.

Learning from failure (and success)

Always take note of a lesson from your experiences, both good and bad. Instead of putting all the blame on yourself as to why things didn’t go as you had hoped, take it as a n educational opportunity instead. This will help you keep from making this same mis-step in the future. Consider the following questions as look at your situation:

Where did I, or where did things, go wrong?
How can I you prevent this same error from happening again?
Where can I make improvements?

Your failures, errors and mis-steps must always be translated into a learning experience. In this way, you will have more opportunities to learn and to do better. In terms of conquering this type of fear, it is important that you learn how to face them. This will not always be simple or easy, don’t mistake me. It is however, necessary to move forward. The alternative is that you keep repeating the same stuff or worse, and never getting closer to your desired goals.

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Are you worthy?

worth

Our choices in life are made according to our sense of our own worth

Kaylan Pickford

What/ Who makes you worthy?

Some people will answer this by saying it is the job and title that they have earned. Some will point proudly to the type of car they drive, or the neighborhood they live in. Some will even point to the church they attend, or the organizations they belong to.

You are made up of many different facets. You have natural talents and skills that are inherent to you. You have your emotional intelligence, getting along with people easily and being able to figure things out logically. Then there is your ability to get focused and stay focused, being organized, making things happen, and on and on. On top of this, you have your learned or acquired skills. There are the things you have learned from life experience, going to school, reading, what you have listened to, seminars you have attended, OTJ (on the job training), being mentored. And, all of that is great, but none of it determines your true worth.

You

The fact of the matter is that it is you, and you alone, who determines your true worth. You determine what you are truly worth. It is by your actions, or lack thereof. It is by your decision-making, or lack thereof. It is by following through on your dreams and desires or not. It is all up to you.

You can read books, listen to CDs, attend every seminar, or tune into every webinar offered, but if you do not have a plan matched with actions, for all of the activity that you have going on and are engaged in, you are determining your worth by your inaction.

Dream again

You need to begin to dream again. Do you remember those dreams you had when you were a kid? You need to open you mind and begin to dream once again. Then you need to use visualization to bring those dreams and passions into the present tense, into today. Use your visualization to create goals in every area of your life; not just possessions. Your goal setting should include at least the six major areas of life that you need/ want to take action on. An action plan is necessary to put in motion the activities that will allow you to achieve your goals.

Keeping track of what activities you are working on requires a planner and a journal to record your every day feelings and ideas, along with your progress. The planner will allow you to see your plan in action, while a journal will give you a record of where you started, how you have grown, and act an incentive to keep your momentum.

Inner speech life

Even with using the above-mentioned tools, what else might be holding you back? What is you inner speech like? Everyone talks to themselves. Maybe everyone doesn’t do it out loud, but everyone does. Start paying attention to what you are saying to yourself. What are you saying that could be holding your back, or throwing you off-track? Changing your inner speech will require some assistance. This is where affirmations come into play. Reading your affirmation aloud daily will help you change your inner speech and thought patterns.

If there is a tone of un-forgiveness, anger, resentment or bitterness about someone or some situation? This may be one of your major stumbling blocks for moving forward. What should you do? Sit down and make a list of anyone you feel you need to forgive. Don’t panic, you don’t necessarily plan to meet them face to face. Just make the list and then burn it, tear it into tiny pieces, or throw it away and then, move forward!

Maximizing your potential, reaching your goals and achieving your true worth is an awesome journey. It will probably not happen overnight, but it is worth the adventure. It will take time and commitment to begin and to continue. You will also be surprised to discover that you are worth a great deal more than you have imagined. As you progress, your goals, vision and affirmations will naturally begin to change as well. And one of the best parts of this is that with your journal, you will have a record of the journey to encourage you as you see the results both small and large in your beliefs about yourself.

You need to make a plan. Then you need to take action. Once you have begun, focus, desire and action will keep you moving forward. Hesitation or indecision will keep you exactly where you find yourself today. But making the decision to take will move things forward.

Take action today!

Thoughts?

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What is emotional intelligence (EI)?

emotional intelligence

We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life.

But we can decide what happens in us, how we can take it, what we do with it,

and that is what really counts in the end.

Joseph Fort Newton

In a world replete with abbreviations, many of which are understood by industry “insiders,” it is hard to keep up. One of the newer ones that you have probably seen, and should become more familiar with is “EI.” This stands for emotional intelligence. There are several sites that speak of this often, but today, we will take a step back and try to sort out some of the basics for you. To discuss a thing, you must first be able to define it.

What is EI?

What does emotional intelligence mean? It is the skill in perceiving, understanding, and managing emotions and feelings. Emotional intelligence encompasses five basic areas. They are:

Knowing your feelings and using them to make life decisions that you can live with.
Being able to manage your emotional life without being a slave to it. You are not paralyzed by depression or worry, or swept away in a fit of anger.
Persisting in the face of setbacks and channeling your impulses in order to pursue your goals.
Having empathy. Being able to read the emotions of other without them having to tell you exactly what they are feeling.
Being able to handle feelings in relationships with skill, grace and harmony.

Because of the broad scope of these skills, there is always room for all of us to learn, grow, and improve. There is a lot to learn here. Use sailing for example. It is like reading every book you can lay your hands on about sailing. Then, after you have mastered the book theory, you have to get some hands-on practice to learn to apply what you’ve read.

How do you get better at EI?

There are assessment tools, some of which you can access online, and are a great way to learn to identify your own emotions
Persistence can be learned. In fact, taking on challenges and overcoming hardships has already given you ample opportunity to develop persistence and stick-to-itiveness. Goal-setting is also just one of the many tools you can use.
Developing your sense of empathy is powerful in leadership situations. Understanding EI will help you learn to pay more attention to your instincts in this area instead of second-guessing yourself.
Once you learn to be the manager (or master) of your feelings, it becomes an easy habit to apply it to almost any business or personal relationship.

Learning about emotional intelligence will not happen for you overnight. As you diligently practice, learn to pay more attention to cues, and apply what you learn, it will start to become second nature to you.

Additional Resources

Here are a couple of good resources for more in-depth information from my friend, Irene Becker, who writes and coaches extensively in this area:

Thoughts?

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Breakfast Fruit Smoothie

orange starwberry smoothie

1/2 cup orange juice

1 banana

6-7 frozen strawberries

4-5 slices frozen peaches

5-6 frozen blueberries

6-7 ice cubes

Fresh mint (optional)

A dash of nutmeg (optional)

1 teaspoon of honey (optional)

Place all ingredients, except the ice cubes, in the blender.

Puree until smooth.

Add ice, and puree again.

Pour into a glass and sprinkle nutmeg on top, and garnish the some fresh mint.

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Musings + Affirmations: I am resourceful and resilient.

Write this down:

My life is full of unlimited possibilities.

Pablo Valle

Affirmation: I am resourceful and resilient.

I am thankful for all of the experiences in my life. Whether I view them as positive or negative at the time, each one offers me opportunities for learning.

Whatever today brings, I am confident that my resourcefulness and resilience will see me through it.

In challenging situations, I am reminded of my own strengths. I bring much to the table. Whatever is asked of me, I can find a way to accomplish. And if I discover that I have challenges achieving my goals, I step back, breathe deeply and get a clearer picture of who I am and what I can do. I am thankful for all of these opportunities to grow.

My focus on learning enables me to be enormously resilient. I know that I can make it through any situation that comes my way. After all, I am already a survivor of every circumstance in my life so far and I continue to learn from each of them. So today also, I trust that I am resilient.

Often, what I gain from challenging circumstances is a bigger picture of the resources that are available to me. I always have the support I need to accomplish whatever I desire. These resources can sometimes come from unlikely places. But I can find them, and use them.

Today, I trust that I have the means necessary to get through any situation and to grow from it.

I am thankful for each and every learning opportunity that comes my way. And, I will continue to intentionally cultivate my resourcefulness and resilience by consciously engaging with the challenges that come into my life.

Homework/ Journal Prompts/ Self-Reflective Questions:

1. What sorts of resources might I be able to use in addressing the most challenging situation in my life today?

2. Name and write down three major situations in the past year or two in which I demonstrated my resilience?

3. Did these situations strengthen my resilience and resolve?

If any of this is helping, please let me know in the comment section below.

And of course, have an awesome week!!

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The secret of happiness…

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Most often, we find our greatest happiness in being of service to other people. Happiness and joy are two very important parts of our lives. They are, however, not the same thing.

What is the difference, you ask?

Happiness is usually related to happenings- things, people and places.

Joy on the other hand, resides inside of us. It is our personal possession, always. The exuberant mirth that we contain within our minds and hearts is something that we can tap into time and again, no matter our surrounding circumstances, situations, or happenings. Our possession of joy, unlike happiness, is not at the whims, nor the capricious moods of others. It is always there to buoy us up. It is also something we can access freely to share with others.

Nonetheless, we do some of our best work when we give of ourselves to others. Not always in large, or extravagant, or even in monetarily costly ways… just in some way.

Make it your business to make others feel that they matter.

It is important. To them, and to you.

~ martina