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7 Tips for preserving your mental health
Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery,
none but ourselves can free our minds!
Have you ever had times when you just felt down? You know, those times when your mind is racing, or you’re just feeling generally out of sorts? Have these feelings ever disrupted your life or made you begin to wonder what was really going on with you? When you do the work to strengthen your mental health, you’ll feel better all over and your life will feel much more satisfying. The good news is that you can steps to ensure that you enjoy better mental health.
The Path to good Mental Health:
1. Live the life you want to live. Rather than sitting around and dreaming of the life you want, make the choice to make it happen. No matter how small your steps may be, make sure that each one moves in the direction of your dreams.
2. Make yourself happy. No one else can create your happiness for you. You have to do it for yourself. Create spaces you love within your home. Keep the windows sparkling clean and let the sunlight in if that’s what you you like. Take long walks or practice yoga to bring a sense of peace and serenity into your life. Spend time reading about the places you want to travel someday.
3. Avoid involvement with people who constantly bring (or put) you down. Many of us have friends or family members who dampen our spirits when we are happy or excited about something. Recognize that while you probably can’t change that person, you can change the amount of time you spend with them and how you relate to them.
Although you feel compassion and understanding toward those who might bring you down, it’s important to ensure that you do not let them interfere with your own mental health and well being.
4. Look for the good in your work or job. Pride, enjoyment and fulfillment are keys to enjoying your life. Most of us spend a lot of our time at our jobs, so it is critical that you learn to cultivate those experiences there.
It doesn’t really matter what your job is. If your job is polishing floors, make them the best looking floors you have ever seen. If you type for a living, ensure that you make as few errors as possible and the finished product looks beautiful. Enjoying some aspect of your work might include telling a joke to a co-worker at an appropriate time or getting excited about a new project that you will be getting involved in.
When your work fulfills you, at the end of the day, you will feel great about doing your job exceptionally well. These positive emotions help ensure your mental health.
5. Get plenty of sleep and eat right. When your body is well nourished, your mind and spirit tend to be healthy as well. You will be in a better mood and have the energy needed to accomplish more.
6. Surround yourself with people you love. Stick to the people you’re comfortable with and who show their love and respect for you. A strong emotionally supportive network is your most important safety net when times get tough. You’ll be able to call on friends or family when you need a listening ear or shoulder to lean on.
7. Cultivate hobbies and activities that bring you joy. No matter what your chosen past times are, find time in your busy schedule to do things that bring you comfort, happiness and contentment.
Regardless of your age, where you live or what you do for a living or what you do for fun, good mental health is integral to your well being. Use these ideas as starting points and come up with ways to ensure your life is happy, fulfilling and bountiful.
Thoughts?
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8 Ways to Cultivate Success
I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and
that is why I succeed.
What does success mean to you?
You might define success as having a stable job in a large company where there are opportunities for growth, or even owning a large home. Perhaps your vision of success includes owning your own business or backpacking through Europe every few years. Your personal success goals probably also include spiritual, relationship and other life aspirations.
Whatever your perspective may be, one of your primary tasks in life is to cultivate your own good fortune. What will you do to welcome success into your life?
How do you cultivate the success that you seek?
1. Use Affirmations. Tell yourself that you are worthy of success. What you say to yourself everyday has a huge impact on the type of life that you live. So, say to yourself that you’re worth whatever it takes to be successful. You know you deserve it. Be confident.
One of the affirmations that I have used since I was a teenager is:
“In order to accomplish something, you must be willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish it!”
It’s one of the first things I see when I get up in the morning.
2. Know what you want. Be absolutely certain about what it is that you want. When you’re confident about exactly what you seek in life, you’re better able to stay focused and keep your “eyes on the prize.”
3. Use visualization. See your goals. Imagine what success feels like, but bring it into the present. Use your imagination and think as if you’ve already attained what you want. Vividly picture in your mind having achieved your goals and the emotions that go along with your victories. While you’re working to achieve success, consider how life will look at each step along the journey.
For example, you might live in an apartment for two or more years before you begin shopping for your first own home. Your new place will have an extra bedroom you can use as an office. When you have your own home office, you will be able to expand your business, which will make you more money and lead you to greater financial security.
4. Prioritize. Prioritize your goals for success. Make your objectives an important part of your life. Think about your goals each day. Speak up about your intentions with your friends and family. When you do, the plans you make will begin to feel more real, tangible and believable.
5. Do one thing. Do at least one task everyday related to your goals. Incorporate working toward goals into your daily activities. Whether you make a phone call or research something on the internet, contribute to your goals each day by doing something specific and tangible. You’ll feel more actively engaged with your own path to success.
6. Upgrade your crew. Hang out with successful people. Soak up all the knowledge you can from those who live the life you dream about. Watch what they’re doing and learn from it. Think about how you can apply those same things to your own life. Find inspiration when you hang out with people you deem successful.
7. Live in the present, review the past, but picture yourself already there. Think of yourself as already successful. Remind yourself of the positive. Point out to yourself daily what you’ve done recently to achieve a goal. View yourself as a person who has already achieved success in your own right and in your own way. Believe that you are successful.
8. Shift gears when you need to. As you journey through life, you will naturally change your goals a bit or add new ones. Cultivating success means you’ll sometimes need to change your course of action or began making different decisions that are in alignment with your new set of goals.
There are plenty of methods for cultivating success around. When you engage in these or some of the other strategies, you can achieve your goals. You can begin creating the life you desire today!
Thoughts?
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Courage? You already have it!
Have you ever thought of yourself as being brave? You may find it challenging to imagine how courage fits in with most things in your life. Things like your social life, going to work and communicating with your spouse. However, courage is an important aspect of all types of situations and relationships. Remembering your natural bravery will boost your confidence and self esteem.
You can live life more fully by applying some of these simple tips.
Caveat: Before you employ any of these techniques, think. Use your common sense.
1. Eye to eye contact. If you are shy or feel awkward looking people in the eye or chatting with someone you just met. It takes a certain amount of inner strength or fearlessness to accomplish this; but its important. Each time you can muster up the courage to perform this task, you gain more self confidence for your next social situation.
2. Speak up. Standing up for a project you want to do at work says a lot about you. Although co-workers may be vying for the work and your boss might have his own idea about the person he wants to do a particular job, just by stepping forward exhibits a certain amount of fearlessness. You will ultimately be more likely to receive the type of work projects you want in the future when you step up and ask for them. These courageous behaviors pay off.
3. Disagree, agreeably. Being willing to stand up for yourself with your colleagues or your spouse shows personal strength and courage.
Perhaps you have found yourself in past situations when you’ve strongly disagreed with something your partner did or said. Maybe you choked back or ignored your own feelings most of those times. But if your spouse keeps repeating those behaviors or comments, step forward bravely and openly discuss your feelings with your spouse. Doing so can actually help solidify and strengthen your relationship.
4. Change your look. Shaving off your beard or moustache, or completely changing the style of your hair reveals a certain amount of bravery. Even trying a trendy new color that you don’t normally wear is a great demonstration of your firm decision to change something about yourself.
Have you ever wanted to change your image or renew your style? This can be challenging and even feel a little scary. Such decisions require great deliberation and great resolve to follow through. But when you do, you feel great. These simple acts of courage associated with changing your looks facilitate the renewal of your self confidence.
5. Stand up for what you believe. Regardless of the venue, stepping forward to make a point is a pretty brave thing to do. Have you ever decided you weren’t going to “take it anymore?” Standing up for yourself has the upside potential of garnering respect from others as well as improving your current situation.
Whether you are the only one in the parent-teacher organization who thought something wasn’t a great idea, or you joined the local anti-vandalism group in your neighborhood, standing up for what you believe takes some measure of fearlessness. Stepping forward for a cause that you feel emotionally invested in requires passion and bravery.
6. Give yourself credit. Recognize that it takes a certain amount of bravery to live in this world of ours. Taking part in social events, speaking up at work, voicing a disagreement with your spouse and doing something to change your style or looks all reflect a sense of inner strength and courage. And, standing up for what you believe in, in your every day life shows that you aren’t afraid to express yourself.
Discover your own fearlessness by acknowledging these simple acts of bravery that you do everyday. You’ll feel deeply rewarded emotionally and will go forward into your every day tasks with greater confidence. Essentially, by reinforcing courage, you lay the ground work to get what you want and deserve from life!
COURAGE*
Courage is the price that Life exacts for granting peace,
The soul that knows it not, knows no release
From little things; Knows not the livid loneliness of fear,
Nor mountain heights where bitter joy can hear The sound of wings.
How can Life grant us boon of living, compensate
For dull grey ugliness and pregnant hate
Unless we dare
The soul’s dominion?
Each time we make a choice, we pay
With courage to behold the restless day,
And count it fair.
— Amelia Earhart (1927), via The Sound of Wings: The Biography of Amelia Earhart , by Mary S. Lovell, 1989
Thoughts?
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* written before her transatlantic flight, June 1928, first printed in “Who is Amelia Earhart?” by Marion Perkins, Survey Graphic Magazine, July 1928, p. 60
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Have a Great Day. Its A Choice.
Very little is needed to make a happy life;
it is all within yourself in your way of thinking.
Life is often full of surprises. In an average day, a seemingly endless number of unexpected events can occur that can cause stress, worry and frustration. But, instead of letting these negative emotions take over, what would happen if you were to make a conscious choice to have a great day?
Ways to bring joy to your day:
1. Self suggestion. First thing in the morning make a conscious decision that you are going to have a great day. As you are brushing your teeth, look yourself in the eye, tell yourself, “I’m going to have a great day,” and actually mean it! This is the perfect opportunity to set yourself up for a fantastic day, whether you’ll be with your family, at work or hanging out with your friends.
2. Empower yourself. You take control of what might have turned into a negative situation when you make the active decision to allow events to just roll off your back and not affect you adversely. Take the bull by the horns and affirm to yourself what you will and won’t do in challenging situations today.
Refuse to allow someone or something other than yourself to ruin your day. When you do this, you’re saying, “no” to negativity. You’re taking an active stand. When you’re resolved in this way, your healthy stubbornness will ensure that you have a great day.
3. What matters most. When you encounter a challenging situation, prompt yourself to see the broader picture. If one part of a project isn’t going well, remember that you’ve been in similar circumstances before and will most likely be in them again some day. Know, however, that such situations don’t last forever, and easy times will come again.
4. Remember the positive. Remember that you still have other things to do today and the trying situation that you find yourself in isn’t the only event that you will encounter. Big or small, positive things are likely to happen to you before the day ends.
5. Look for the adventure. Consider a challenging event as an adventure, an opportunity. As you reflect ,you will see that many prior situations in which you were initially disappointed, turned out to be great opportunities. Shift your paradigm from “oh, this is bad” to “this could be interesting,” and mean it.
6. Look for the silver lining. What are the positives about a trying situation? You may feel challenged at first to find something positive about a difficult set of circumstances. However, with some practice this will become easier. You’ll eventually be able to identify what the real beauty of a tough situation is.
When life begins to get you down, you always, always, always have a choice. You can either let yourself be completely overtaken by the weight of your challenge or you can choose and decide to have a much better, even a great day.
Turn your negative situations into adventures and seek the silver lining that lies within every challenging event. You have all the power you need within you to make your life as enjoyable as you want it to be!
Thoughts?
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“Are You Tough Enough?”
Man never made any material as resilient
as the human spirit.
Bern Williams
Life is full of ups and downs. When you meet up with some of life’s challenging experiences, you want to be ready to rise to the occasion. Your ability to bounce back after passing through a tough transition or overcoming a hardship will often determine whether you are truly enjoying your life and find it meaningful or if you are finding it troublesome, frustrating and full of fear.
This idea of coming back again and again can be summed up in one word, RESILIENCE. The basic definitions of resilient are:
1. Capable of withstanding shock without permanent deformation or rupture;
2. Tending to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change. The more resilient you are, the quicker you are able to readjust to a situation in move forward in your life.
Here are a few ways that you can test your own resilience:
1. Initial responses.
When something begins to trouble you how do you usually respond? Perhaps you bury your head in the sand and hope it will simply go away. Perhaps you instead choose to ignore the situation and pretend that it is not really affecting you.
If you are truly resilient, you will more often elect to face the situation head on and promptly. You will start by defining the issue, then consider your options, make a plan and finally act. You will move right away to resolve the situation before it becomes a full blown issue.
Promptly employing your problem solving and resolving skills will help you avoid a major meltdown.
2. Use the past instructively and constructively.
Do you try to forget about all of your prior challenges? Instead, try applying what you have already learned from those experiences to navigate the present or future situations. When you are clearly able to reflect on what you have already been through, of course you will think about some of the mistakes you made in the past. But, you will also be excited about how well you handled those past situations and be able to summon up your courage and employ those same skills again.
The energy required to try to forget something important draws heavily from your present state of resilience and wears it down. Alternatively, focusing your energies on the lessons and skills you have garnered from the past experiences will help build up your resistance.
3. Practice Daily.
Do you work to accomplish something, a goal or a new skill however small, every day? Or do you find yourself watching entire days seemingly drift by while you sit and brood or feel sad or angry?
In order to improve your resilience, you must consider each day as a brand new opportunity to do something positive, even if it’s just one small thing. Perhaps on a day off it might be something as simple as going for a walk or cleaning the living room. Your practice today could entail something like making a step toward beginning your novel or calling a friend you haven’t spoken to in ages.
What you do with your life each day should provide meaning for you.
4. Get a support network.
Do you have plenty of friends and family to call on if you need something? Resilient individuals build up supportive systems of people they can visit, call, talk to and turn to whenever they hit troubled waters.
If you feel like you are all alone in this world, you need to start building your support network today, by setting a goal to make one new friend within the next month.
5. Do you matter?
Do you remember to treat yourself as if you are the most important person in your life? When you take care of your own needs, you will be more resilient when a crisis comes knocking on your door; and it will come knocking.
If your own health and living situations are at the top of your priority list, you will be much better prepared to face any hardship, be it emotional or physical. Taking the time to keep yourself in tip top shape physically and mentally helps build your resilience whenever trying or troubling situations and events occur.
Challenges, transitions and hardships will invariably arise in your life. If you are proactive and confront situations immediately, use the knowledge you have gained from your prior demanding events, build up your support network, you will be well on your way to constructing resilience for the future.
Do one small thing for yourself each day, and before you even realize it, you will be weathering your storms with greater ease.
Thoughts?
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A Lesson from my Dad: What Makes Us
Who we become
Who we are and what we manifest comes to us through a series of a million tiny chemical reactions, neuropathways, interactions and experiences that shape us into the individuals we ultimately become.
If you have been following my posts, you know that one of the things I speak about frequently is finding peace. Not “whorlled peas”, but personal peace. Where is it? How do I achieve it? How do I keep it? How do I share it?
In addition to this, some time ago, during one of the twitter chats that I regularly attend, we started discussing our lost childhood. We talked about the many things we had hoped for and dreamt about, as well as the wonder and awe that life held for us then. And, what recapturing that open state of mind and heart could bring to us as adults. We will talk about more about all of those things here in the future, but personally, I am pulled back time and again to lessons I learned from my father.
My Father
None of these lessons were structured, at least not like using a book or curriculum, but they were heart-connected lessons. These were all-important life-lessons which still continue to unfold for me. Many of the most important lessons we learn in life come to us unbidden from people who are connected to us, who care for us and want the very best for us. Oftentimes, the teachers are people who are walking a path in their own lives which they cannot see clearly. But, as our lives rub up against theirs, they help show us the way.
My Dad was/ is my best friend. He was as tall as a mountain and as strong as a bull. Or at least that’s how he looked through the eyes of a small child. And, this is how he will always remain in my heart and mind. As I grew older, I could see some of the chinks in his armor, and continue to understand more and more of why they were there.
Unfortunately, this rock, my supporter, my protector, my friend was killed in a car wreck when I was 8. That summer month of my 8th year was the longest of my life. I turned 8 years old, my father died, my maternal grandmother (second only to my father for my affection, attention and admiration) died and I was hit by a car.
I still love and miss my Dad, 50+ years later.
Like most father’s, he could deny his daughter nothing. But then, as I have learned, all things are relative. What may have been everything to me, wouldn’t have been much to many others. We were poor. This was something else I didn’t discover until later in life when I was exposed to people who had a lot more, and flaunted it.
Bonding
My fondest memories of my Dad were around the age of 4 or 5, before I started school. My Dad “watched” me in the mornings before he went to work. My mother left for work by 5:30 am and cooked us something before she left. We’d have a little breakfast, then get in his huge blue and white Chevy, my best buddy and me. Two peas in a pod. We’d drive around for a bit and eventually pull up to his favorite bar.
Every single weekday morning for the first five years of my life, he’d turn to me and ask, “What do you want, sweetie?” And I would say, as if I were thinking about it for the first time, “Orange Nehi, potato chips, Slim Jim and a salty fish.” He’d smile and laugh, go off to the bar and purchase these all of the items as if he’d never heard this list before. He would bring it all back to the car, make sure I was comfortable and felt safe.
Of course I felt safe, my Dad was taking care of me.
Once I was settled, he’d go back to his place of refuge. We would each stay in our respective places- me in the big blue and white fortress, and he on his barstool, until it was time for him to go to work. These days he’d probably be arrested, but it was a different time then.
What did I learn from my dad?
For hours, I would eat my snacks and watch people go about their busy lives outside my little protective bubble. I could make stories up for where they were going, conversations they were bound to have or just watch.
I would read their faces, watch their body language and know a good portion of their story. I watched them laugh, cry, carry their groceries with downtrodden shoulders and interact with their children. I’d watch them kiss and fight and share jokes.
I was never lonely, even though I was alone. I was never afraid, because my Dad was taking care of me.
OK, so what’s the life lesson?
Through all those long hours sitting and observing, I learned something many adults still seek. I learned to be alone and content, if not downright happy with my own company. I learned to sit in silence and not be afraid. I learned to see people beneath what they were saying and doing. I learned to watch faces, eyes, body language, breathing, touching, movement. I learned to see human interaction, without the distraction of words.
Long before I grew up and decided to call my office, “The Listening Place,” I learned to shut up and use all my senses when I was with people, and this still serves me well in my life.
Long before I took prayer and meditation to heart and made them part of my life’s practice, I learned to be alone without being lonely.
Long before I needed to make time for downtime and quiet time, I learned to exist in and listen to the quiet.
Long before I learned to read words, I learned to read people.
And, I learned a love so deep, nothing can ever shake it.
Thanks Dad. 🙂
See Success…
Choose a Direction…
Boost your Motivation by Helping Others (2 of 2)
Often when we cannot get ourselves focused or remain on-task and motivated, we can help ourselves feel better by taking a break to lend someone else a helping hand. Helping others is a very important way to make yourself feel good and to promote positive feelings about your own life. There are many ways you can help others, including: sharing knowledge, visiting others, helping people see the positive and much, much more.
In the previous post we talked about several ways that helping others can impact our own lives in a positive fashion. Thise were:
- Sharing knowledge
- Spending time with friends
- Finding the good in others
- Being more positive with everyone
- Letting people know you care
In the second part of this post we will continue working our way through suggestions af ways to help others, so you can help yourself.
“Laughter is the best medicine”
Laughter is contagious. People are often drawn to laughter and they want to be part of the fun. Laughing is also very healthy. You should share your laughter and your attitude with those around you. It can be very infectious. You will also feel better about yourself.
Laughing is healthy for your body and soul. If you know some funny jokes or you begin to see the funny side of a situation, you should share this with your friends and colleagues. The ability to make other people laugh is a good thing and if you are good at it you should use this skill. This will be good for the people you are making laugh because you will help raise their spirits and the sense of joy you receive will make you feel good as well.
Be a good listener
To help others create motivation and a positive attitude, means you will need to be a good listener. When you listen to people they feel that you truly care about what they have to say. It shows that you have a sensitive side as well. When you listen to others you can help them realize that they have something positive to focus on.
Listening to people gives you an opportunity to show people the positive side of life, in addition to the negative side which they have been focusing on. This will help you help them. Listening means understanding how the person is feeling about what they are saying. You might want to repeat back to the person some of things they have been saying. This will reinforce to the person that you are actively listening to what they have to say. When you are a good listener it will make you feel good because you can see the positive effect that it has on the other person. It can also add a new and deeper dimension to your friendship.
Transmit your positive attitude
Once you are feeling great and positive be sure to transmit your attitude to other people around you. You can also transmit indirectly while talking to people. A positive attitude is addicting and people will enjoy spending time with you. This may help advance your career as well.
When you have a positive attitude you need to be intentional and purposeful about transmitting it to others. This also includes times when you are on the phone or on the computer. It is common for your communication to disconnect somewhat when you are speaking to someone over the phone. You might be tired or not even notice that one of you have drifted into an area of rudeness. Be sure to transmit your positive attitude to others when you talk to them on the phone. This is healthy for you and it can also help the other person feel better about you.
Give compliments
Communicating your positive attitude can be conveyed in a number of ways, one of which is paying compliments to people. When you see the positive side in others, always feel free to share this with them. Notice someone’s nice dress or shoes. People love compliments and it gives them a boost and will make you feel better about yourself as well.
Be an example
Another way to share your positive attitude with people is by setting an example. When you do good things and people around you see it, they will often want to jump in and help. For example, you might see someone at work in a break room cleaning up after a mess from luncheon. It doesn’t take a lot of work or effort to help this person clean up even if it is not your assignment. When you give your positive attitude and you aren’t afraid to give to others and to share with others, people will join in.
Conclusion:
There are so many things that you can do to help others, and we have only covered a few of them. When you help others with your positive attitude and behavior. It will feel great. You will be motivated to help others. By following these simple suggestions, you will find that you are much more motivated each day to complete your tasks and you will be creating an environment that is positive for yourself and everyone around you.
Thoughts?
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