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Musings + Affirmations: It is okay for me to say, “No.”

“…there are often many things we feel we should do that,

in fact, we don’t really have to do.

Getting to the point where we can tell the difference is a

major milestone in the simplification process.”

Affirmation: It is okay for me to say, “No.”

I can only expect to achieve success without suffering burnout when I remain focused on my goals and am aware of my limitations. For this reason, I am able and willing to say, “No” when the need arises.

I prioritize the activities and people in my life. I have let go of the idea that I should be able to come up with enough energy for every single person and every single activity that comes my way.

My family comes first. They know that, as does everyone else in my life. They are aware that I am incapable of dropping everything for their needs, but I have granted them the security and confidence they deserve by putting their genuine needs first, ahead of my work and social life. They know that I am there for them when they truly need me, no matter what else may be going on in my life.

I also take time to be with friends and colleagues who are positive, supportive, and who help me in my pursuit of excellence. I have let go of the idea that I should be instantly available to everyone who asks. I am friendly with everyone, but my time is precious. I consciously choose how to spend it.

I make time to engage in activities that will relax me and further equip me to reach my dreams.

I let everything else go, without the need to feel guilty or create excuses because I know that it is perfectly okay for me to say, “No.”

Homework/ Self-Reflective Questions/ Journal Prompts:

1. Do I keep my goals in mind when deciding how to spend my time?

2. Do my friendships help or hinder me in reaching my goals?

3. Does my family really know that they come first in my life? How have I demonstrated this recently?

Thoughts?

Have an awesome week!!!

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10 Quickie affirmations

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It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief.

And once that belief becomes a deep conviction,

things begin to happen.

Muhammad Ali

Everyone has moments when they need a little boost in their inspiration to gain confidence and help build up some momentum. That is part of the reason that inspirational sayings are so popular! When you live a life without inspiration, it can be a life without any real joy or passion in it. In those moments when you really need a little pick me up or a reminder of the many great things you have going on in your life, you can turn to the power of affirmations and inspirational words. You should have a collection of inspirational sayings in your personal toolkit that resonate with you so that you can get more done and still feel great!

There are a lot of great motivational sayings out there that you can turn to when you are feeling down and out, but you should be using them all the time, rain or shine! Work to incorporate affirmations into your every day life, using them to inspire you to reach a little bit higher and to push a little harder so that you can achieve all of the things you have set out to do and probably more.

Here are a few to try:

1. There is a beautiful light at the end of my tunnel.

2. I take small steps in life and value my time.

3. In order to share happiness with others, I must also be happy.

4. As I let go of dissatisfaction, I feel happiness in my life.

5. My life is full of purpose, exciting change, and many recognized deeds.

6. No matter the challenge, I will see it through.

7. I am becoming more focused and confident every day.

8. I welcome positive energy and I use that feeling to accomplish more.

9. My life is already filled with success.

10. I keep only two mental snapshots of myself: where I am and where I want to be in life.

These are all very simple affirmations that work to boost positive thoughts and attitudes in your mind. Affirmations are simply positive statements that remind you of your goals and your positive uniqueness so that you can boost your self-confidence.

Get more done with the power of affirmations

Affirmations and inspirational sayings can help you move forward in life and accomplish greater things than you have ever imagined. After all, you cannot deny the power of a can-do attitude when you use it. If more people incorporate inspiration into their lives, they would likely all be happier and more successful. When you incorporate positive sayings into your life, you will find that you respond on a subconscious level and that you no longer need to look very far for inspiration!

If you are feeling a bit down or lacking in confidence, you can use affirmation to help you find the courage to move forward and force out any negative thoughts that may be cycling through your mind. When you say these statements with gusto, you are re-affirming positive thoughts in your mind, making them a part of who you are and who you are choosing to become. Remember to use these sayings in any and every occasion to give you the inspirational boost that you need to get through any challenge, both large and small.

What’s your favorite affirmation?

Where do you keep your affirmations posted so you can see them often and easily?

Still stuck finding an affirmation that resonates with you? Check us out Saturdays and Sundays when we share weekly affirmations, inspirations and random thoughts.

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7 Tips for making the most of your moments of momentum

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One way to keep momentum going is to have

constantly greater goals.

Michael Korda

One of thing we learned as small children and teens with bicycles, sleds, and other instruments of destruction was the power of momentum. When we raced our friends on our bikes, we knew that the best way to do better and use less energy in the long run was to pedal very, very fast and powerfully to start with, give it everything you could pour in to get up to speed, and then you could simply maintain a good even cadence. This technique proved to be the best way to save energy and get ahead faster.

This same technique applies to getting your adult-sized projects and tasks done. You will find that if you can simply start the project quickly, you can often use the momentum to carry you through to its completion. So the key is to get started fast. Here are a few techniques that will help:

1 – Ask someone to help you start. Often just having someone else around help gets things moving.

2 – Know when your high energy times are and start projects with a burst during one of those periods.

3 – Get rid of your distractions. Focus 100% of your energy and time on the task or priority that you are trying to get started. Turn off your email and silence your smart-phone. Close your door. Get rid of the extraneous papers on your desk.

4 – Know from the beginning what your outcome is to be. The clearer you understand what you want to accomplish, the more likely you are to accomplish it.

5 – Set a time limit. Most of us can do almost anything for a short period of time. By setting a time limit like 15 or 20 or 30 minutes to work diligently on a project then giving yourself permission to quit, will often develop momentum.

6 – Be prepared. It is easier to develop and maintain momentum if you have all the tools and information you need at the ready.

7 – Finally, just do it!!! Dig in deep. Push hard. Remember your bicycle. A few hard pushes at the beginning to get started helps make things move much more easily to the finish with less energy.

Using these techniques for gaining momentum can help you move any project forward faster and more easily.

How do you keep your momentum going?

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How to bypass your self-sabotage

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I have a tendency to sabotage relationships;

I have a tendency to sabotage everything.

Fear of success,

fear of failure,

fear of being afraid.

Useless, good-for-nothing thoughts.

Michael Buble

Self-sabotaging behaviors can keep you from conditioning yourself for success. And changing those long, established and ingrained behavior patterns, like self-sabotage, can be as difficult as recognizing and understanding them. So, how, then, do you go about eliminating your sabotaging beliefs and emotions?

A trip inside

The first order of business is to understand and accept yourself before you can truly to understand and accept others. You have to take a journey within for personal evaluation. This means looking inside yourself and listening to your inner dialog or your self-talk. You must learn to remain open minded to what you see and hear when evaluating and trying to understand your beliefs. This is absolutely essential when you are trying to make constructive changes in your own behaviors.

Deciding how deep and how far you want to go before introspection is up to you. But, you can take your life to a whole new level when you discover empowering insights about yourself that can help you eliminate damaging self-talk and undermining behaviors.

It takes courage…

Deciding to let go of self-sabotaging behaviors that prevent you from changing takes courage and a personal commitment to develop more effective actions. Before you start going around believing that you can change the beliefs and behavior of others, you must first change yourself.

This means overcoming resistances and sabotaging behaviors that have prevented you from experiencing a more optimistic attitude. No matter what obstacles you may face, developing an optimistic attitude, and changing unrewarding behaviors and beliefs, will awaken you to the need to eliminate your self-sabotaging behaviors.

Strategies

1. Crossroads. Recognize that you are at the crossroads where your decisions and choices are yours and yours alone. Realize that you are the one making the conscious decisions about making changes to your damaging self talk and undermining beliefs and behaviors. No one else can do this for you.

2. Change your internal language. Pay attention and change “I can’t” or “I won’t” to “I Can, I Will” on a consistent basis. Begin to notice the emotional changes going on within you. Be prepared to physically describe your changes and write them down. Repeat the process of writing down your changing feelings and behaviors and compare your notes to follow your progress. Measure your progress by the visible recurrences of positive self-talk and healthier behaviors. Continual negative self-talk will create growing resentments and dis-empowering beliefs. Self-resentment is the seed that grows and eventually flowers into self-sabotaging behaviors.

3. You shall reap what you sow. Plant the seeds that will produce positive, empowering beliefs and actions in you. Honestly ask yourself, “Are my actions linked to pleasure-producing situations or to pain-producing situations?” Take the road that leads you to pleasure, not grief.

The personal growth experienced from facing a fearful or painful event, or adversity, is important for self-improvement. But do not make a steady diet of this alone. You can grow and change by cultivating positive emotions such as joy, excitement, and happiness,also.

Thoughts?

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7 Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem

“You yourself, as much as

anybody in the entire universe,

deserve your love and affection”

Sharon Salzberg

Each of us needs to feel a sense of self-worth and healthy self-esteem in order to live a successful, contented life. While some people look to others and their material success to gauge their own self-worth, the most important assessment is how you feel about yourself.

There are many things you can do to boost your own self-esteem. By taking the steps to build your own self-worth and well-being, you’re practicing the best form of preventative medicine possible.

Here are a few strategies to help you boost your self-esteem:

1. Do things you love. The more time you spend doing things you love to do, the better it makes you feel. Doing the things you enjoy causes your brain to produce higher levels of endorphins, which are chemical in the brain that increase your sense of joy and well-being.

Engaging in activities we love also helps us recall other times we’ve done them, and those memories increase our self-esteem. Our favorite activities are often things we do well, which is a factor in increasing our self-esteem.

2. Strengthen your strengths. When you exercise your strengths, they become stronger and your self-esteem rises as well. We all like to feel proud of the things we excel at and those things cause us to feel better about ourselves.

Spend time working on, building, and renewing your strengths, and your inner approval rating will soar.

3. Surround yourself with positive people. Positive energy is like an electrical charge as it spreads from one person to the next. When you spend time in the company of positive people, your own attitude will lift to match theirs, and you’ll be charged from their energy.

4. Measure your worth based on yourself, not on others. Everyone sees the world based on his or her own biases and circumstances. When someone pours negative thoughts on another person, it’s a greater reflection on their own deficiencies than the person they’re attacking.

Basing your self-esteem on another person’s opinions is never a good idea. Instead, take your value from what you know to be the truth about yourself from the inside out, not the other way around.

5. Believe in yourself. Trust in your ability to achieve whatever you set your mind to accomplish. When you believe that you’re capable of attaining your goals, you unleash the ability to do so from deep within you, so trust in the process.

6. Set your thoughts on the things you want to attract. Albert Einstein determined all things are made of energy and energy attracts more of the same energy. Focusing your thoughts on the things you desire in your life keeps the energy of those things moving toward you.

7. Speak affirming thoughts to yourself. We’ve all heard the phrase “act as if.” Affirmations work on that principle. Instead of saying, “I want to be happy,” say, “I am a happy person.” Say it out loud everyday.

You’ll begin to reprogram your subconscious to believe it as the truth, and soon you’ll be feeling that truth every day.

These simple steps to boost your self-esteem are easy to begin to put into practice. Start today and build your self-worth and self-esteem into the foundation of your character. Your life will never be the same.

Martina

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Affirmation: I Create Positive Habits

Motivation is what gets you started.

Habit is what keeps you going.

Jim Ryun

Affirmation: I create positive habits in my life.

A habit is a pattern of behavior that is an automatic response or action. This happens after doing a particular routine for a length of time until it becomes natural. I have had many habits in my lifetime. Today, I choose to create constructive and positive habits.

By focusing on healthy and productive routines each day, I begin to create positive habits. Nourishing my body with healthy foods every morning is a healthy habit I maintain every day. Setting aside time each day for self-reflection, meditation or prayer has also become a positive habit in my life.

My character is made stronger by positive habits. These habits have become a part of me. I am a stronger and healthier person because of my healthy routines. I continue to create healthy behaviors and habits leading to my positive transformation and growth. I become healthier as I practice my healthy routines.

Today, I honor my existing positive habits and choose to continue them because they are an important part of who I am.

I will create more positive behaviors and continue to do so until they also are a part of who I am. In doing this, my patterns of behavior continue to be constructive and healthy.

Homework/ Self-Reflective Questions/ Journal Prompts:

1. What are my healthiest habits?

2. How have I created new positive habits?

3. How can I turn one of my unhealthy habits into a positive one?

Have an awesome week!

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Go…

Thoreau

Have you gotten all of your NY’s resolutions done? Great! Then this post isn’t really for you. Its for those people who did not…

Dreams and goals. They consume a lot of your daylight hours, but how serious are you about reaching them? This is the beginning of September. It will be a brand new year in a just a matter of a few months. What did you do with that list of resolutions from January, or your “three words,” or whatever device you decided to use to get moving in the right direction this year? Where is that list of stuff you wanted to accomplish to make this year different?

Here’s the thing. Last year, every year, you tell yourself that this is the year that you are going to pull the proverbial trigger, get your act together and start moving on that “new thing.” This is the year that you promised yourself that you would learn to paint, publish your ebook, write more consistently, take some voice lessons, join Toastmaster‘s, or _______________ (fill in the blank).

This year is almost done. But you are not!!! I want you to do one of two things today, tomorrow at the latest. Either dig up that list, or pick one single goal. Sit down today and figure out how you will get that ONE, single item done by year’s end. Choose an item/ goal/ dream, map out and write down the do-able steps, look up phone numbers/ addresses/ websites, make your call, hire a VA, whatever it takes. But…

Absolutely, positively, whole-heartedly commit to accomplishing ONE of your goals by year’s end. Just One!

Share below in the comment section, so we can cheer you on.

My one goal is: _________________________________________ .

To your success!

~ martina

How to earn a little more respect

respect

Respect was invented to cover the empty place

where love should be.

Leo Tolstoy

Do you ever have those moments when you feel like your first name should be “Doormat?” Or that sometimes it feels as though people are taking advantage of you on a regular basis? And of course, you wonder to yourself, what am I doing to allow this to happen? If you responded yes to any of that, perhaps you feel as though you are not getting the respect of others. And that is what we have come to talk about today.

Respect is not something you can make happen. It has to be earned. By the same token, no person deserves to be taken advantage of by another. It is possible for you to change how others treat you. Here are a few tips about earning a little more respect.

1. Think “Golden Rule.” Most of people are familiar with the Golden Rule. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” It is a wonderful philosophy to adhere to when you are attempting to garner respect. Always treat others as you expect to be treated. People will tend to reciprocate and treat you the same way. If they do not, then you can pull back from the relationships over time.

2. Think of yourself. An example of this might be telling your friend that you cannot (insert do not want to) babysit her 4-year old so that she can get her nails done because you are busy with your own personal appointments and schedule.

You must remember to make yourself a priority along with everything and everyone else you prioritize. If people see that you respect yourself, then you should ultimately be respected, too.

3. Think about your posture. Check out your own body language. When speaking face to face with someone, portray the fact that you are strong and competent. Stand up straight, look people in the eye, and speak forcefully but don’t overwhelm them.

Those people who make a habit of staring at the floor while speaking, avoid making eye contact, and whisper their words are telling others that they don’t really believe they deserve respect and attention. Always remember to stand tall and proud. You are important and you deserve to be recognized.

4. Think and speak positively. In addition to having strong body language, the words you use to express yourself are also extremely important when you are trying to earn the respect of others. Learn to speak in positively and authoritatively. Do not go overboard and be boastful, but do not make the mistake of demeaning or belittling yourself or your accomplishments.

You want to leave behind the impression that that you are an intelligent, well spoken and confident person. If you portray yourself in this manner others will treat you the same way.

5. Think about your “crew.” Surround yourself with the right people. Let’s be honest, there are people in this world who are disrespectful to everyone they meet and about everything. No matter what you do to command respect from these individuals, nothing may work. You need to spend some time thinking who you are spending time with. They may not be the kind of people who have your best interests at heart.

6. Think about how you respond. You have to learn to stand up for yourself. If people are disrespectful to you, how do you respond to them or the situation? Do you say something to the offending person or do you just go on with your life? People most often treat us in the way in which we allow ourselves to be treated.

If you take the initiative to approach the person and voice your opinion and unhappiness, the chances are good that person won’t treat you that same way in the future. And it is not about being confrontational, but saying something as simple as, “I don’t appreciate how you’re speaking to me” can go a long way.

We all have a desire and need to be respected. By making some small changes, you will be able to open yourself to receiving the respect of others, while learning how to also express your respect.

Thoughts?

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How to Get Through Feeling Burned Out

burnout

Burnout is nature’s way of telling you,

you’ve been going through the motions

your soul has departed;

you’re a zombie,

a member of the walking dead,

a sleepwalker.

False optimism is like administrating stimulants

to an exhausted nervous system.

Sam Keen

Have you been feeling like you may be suffering from burnout? Whether it has been caused by work issues, stress at home, relationship challenges, or a combination of all them, it can give you a frightening feeling of hopelessness! Burnout often causes feelings of numbness and a sense of lost-ness in not knowing how to get your life headed back in the right direction. But, hope is not lost! There are a few strategies you can utilize to help you relieve some of the symptoms that come with the feeling of being burned out.

1. Don’t place all of the blame on yourself. Life is hectic and stressful. It is full of intense demands placed on your shoulders every day. If you are feeling burnt out, rather than blaming yourself, choose to be proactive in getting back in the proverbial saddle so that you can feel like yourself again.

Always remember, that you are the one in control of your destiny. Focus on what you can do, and less on what you think you should do.

2. Lighten up! Stop being so serious all the time. With the stress and responsibilities that you carry around on a daily basis, you may be in need of some plain old silliness. Make time to release some of your inhibitions and have some fun!

Whether it is dancing in your living room or swinging on the swings at a local park, take some time to connect with your inner child again. This will help you let go of your current stress level, and that is important, even if it is just for a little while.

Making time to have some fun will give you a chance to refocus your mind and energies and get your life and priorities back to where you feel they need to be.

3. Watch your health. It is important to stay in peak physical condition when you are constantly under stress. Eat several servings of fruits and vegetables, drink large amounts of water, and of course, get some exercise.

Be sure to fit exercise into your busy schedule by making an appointment with yourself to do it, and then keep your appointment! It doesn’t have to be two hours at the gym. Start with small time increments and a simple do-able exercise, like going outside for a ten minute walking break. Then build up.

4. Stop the time leaks. Look at ways that you can improve your time management skills. You may be burnt out because you are trying to fit a week’s worth of stuff into a single day. Unfortunately, that is not possible! Learning how to budget the time in your day more effectively will relieve a lot of the time-related pressure and stress.

Better time management will lessen the feeling of being overwhelmed, as well as enable you to have the time you need to do the things you want to do.

5. Rest. Get enough sleep. This will allow your body time to rest, rejuvenate, and start the upcoming day with more energy. You can also deal with stressful situations better when you are fully alert and focused. When you get enough rest, you will find yourself more focused, levelheaded, and patient.

No matter how you may try to dress it up, modern life is not simple or easy. So there is little wonder that sometimes you will feel like you just cannot juggle everything any more! And, although these feelings are completely normal from time to time, left unchecked, they can get out of control. Before you reach that point, it is important to get your life headed back in the right direction, the direction of your choosing. These burnout tips will help you better handle every-day stresses so that you can enjoy all the amazing gifts life has to offer you!

Thoughts?

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How to break up with your bad habits

habit

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until

they are too heavy to be broken.

Warren Buffett

Do you feel that some of your habits are holding you back from experiencing the successful life you desire? Your habit may be as small as biting your nails or buying expensive lattes every single day. At the other end of the spectrum, you may want to break free of smoking, extreme anger, excessive eating, or some other detrimental habits. Here are a few tips that can help you put an end to those pesky practice once and for all.

1. Find your “why.” Determine why you should stop. Think about how your may be hurting you and/ or others. Is it detrimental to your health? Screwing up your appearance? Putting a dent in your wallet? Does it make you act irrationally? Does it hurt your loved ones? Sit down and make a list of the benefits that you will experience when you do put an end to this habit once and for all.

If you can find no compelling reason to stop, then the chances are high that you will be less willing to work toward quitting. Find a reason to stop the progression of your habit and hammer that thought into your mind each time you feel compelled to continue with it.

2. Get a carrot. Of course, when there is a direct reward at the end of your journey, you will be much more inclined to give a wholehearted effort. Indulge in a trip to the spa, get a new outfit for work or make a trip to your favorite restaurant each time you reach a large milestone.

Ensure that your reward is not connected to the habit your are trying to stop. If, for instance, you are trying to quit smoking, it would make no sense, and be detrimental to reward yourself with a cigarette at the end of each week for “being good.”

Save the largest rewards for last. What do you want the most? What is something you have wished you could purchase or experience for a long time? Spend the time you would normally spend indulging in your habit to plan your pot of gold at the end of this rainbow.

And, the reward should be in line with the complexity of your task. Rewarding yourself with a cruise to the Bahamas because you stopped biting your nails would be a bit of a stretch. But, rewarding yourself with a massage at the spa might be more rational.

3. Read about success. Get a book or browse the web to read success stories of those that have previously been where you now find yourself, and were able to conquer the same habit. Being able to see social proof that others have been able to achieve the task you are now facing makes the pursuit seem tremendously more manageable.

4. Baby steps. Focus on only one small step each week to ensure long lasting results. For example, if you are working at losing weight, you might want to eliminate sweets from your diet for the first week. The next week eliminate some of the other carbohydrates, like white bread, in addition to the sweets.

That old childhood adage, “slow and steady win the race” is true. Crash diets will not work, and quitting anything cold turkey will often lead to some other compensatory behavior. This is one reason that most people who are quitting smoking gain weight. They have the need to fix an oral fixation. And if the compensatory habit is just as much of an issue as the one that you are trying to break, then this will grind your progress to a halt and you will have to start all over again at step one.

Have measurable goals. What does that mean? If you are trying to minimize your spending, determine the average amount you spend each week in unnecessary purchases, like your daily latte fix, for example. Then set a goal to reduce that amount by 10% for the first week.

Habits provide you with a level of comfort that everything in your world is okay. They serve to give you a feeling of control over your circumstances. However, a dependency on a routine that has negative consequences or is detrimental to your physical and mental health can be replaced by choices that will fuel your success instead.

Remember that you are the boss of your mind, body, and soul. Embark on the road to breaking up with your bad habit today and prove to yourself just how much stronger you are than it is!

Thoughts?

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