8 Tips on How to Demonstrate Self-Love



There is a post that appears on Facebook periodically that poses the question, “If you were asked to name all the things you love, how long would it take to get to yourself?” Ouch!

You are probably too hard on yourself. Most of us are too hard on ourselves way too often. But, it turns out that it is much easier to make our way through the world if we love ourselves. Perhaps the greatest struggle we all face is the struggle to accept and love ourselves in spite of all our many flaws. This is not something that is likely to change without a little work, though, because many of us seem to have been programmed to ridicule ourselves.

Love yourself more each day with these strategies:

1. Give yourself an earnest compliment each day.

Have you ever felt like you needed a compliment? Go ahead and give yourself one! Think about all of your fantastic qualities and congratulate yourself on one of them. There is no reason to wait for someone else to get around to saying something nice about you. Give yourself a nice compliment right now.

2. Make a written list of your accomplishments. You have accomplished plenty of great things. Make a list of all of them. Be creative and give this exercise some serious thought. You will find that your life has been more impressive than you realize.

Well…did you make the list?

3. Eat in a healthier manner.

I am not saying go overboard and try to change all your eating habits in a single day. Promise to take better care of yourself by making some changes to your diet. We could all use a little improvement in this department. You know which foods are healthy. Add a few of them to your diet and drop a few of the ones that are less than healthy.

Show yourself that you are important. You probably would not purposely feed junk food to your child or yto your beloved pet. Give yourself the same level of importance.

4. Support a cause you believe in.

Spending time on something you think is important is a great way to show yourself that you are a good person. You will feel better about yourself and put a smile on your face, as well as someone else’s.

It does not have to be an expensive out of the country trip. There are many places to volunteer right at home. Almost every city has at least one mission house or food pantry. Step your game up. Go help serve food. Go sit and talk with a few lonely people. Grab a couple of your friends and do it together. These are just a few small examples.

Help someone else because you can!

5. Be grateful.

Appreciating what you have makes it a lot easier to love yourself. No one enjoys being around a person who complains all the time. Think about your life and make a list of the things and the people who fill you with gratitude. It is surprising to discover how much of a great life you already have.

6. Forgive your past self.

Sure, you have made some mistakes and probably done and said a few awful things along the way. We all have, and we all will. But that period of your life is over now. Why drag the past into the present? You can make a fresh start every single day.

Let it go!

7. Make one small improvement.

As great as we think we are, we can be even better. Make one small change that will enhance your life in some way. Perhaps it is exercising for few minutes each week or calling your mom once a week. Show yourself that you can grow, and mature, and become a better version of yourself. Try these simple ideas:

  • Pay all of your bills on time.
  • Be more patient with your family.
  • Be on time for work each day.
  • Do five pushups each morning.

8. Do one thing each day makes you happy.

If you do not start, when? There really is no time like the present to begin enjoying your life. Start taking those guitar lessons, finally get a dog/ cat/ bird/ fish, or volunteer at the local food bank. Start loving the life you are living and loving yourself.

9. Avoid people who consistently drag you down.

Odds are that at least one of your relationships is poisoning your life. It may be a friendship, close colleague at work, romantic relationship, or even a relationship with a family member. Value yourself enough to avoid negative people and relationships as often as you can. You can be cordial and polite. But, you don’t have to sit beside them or join them on a drama run or the crazy train.


You have many wonderful qualities that

you have been overlooking.

Believe that you deserve love from yourself

and from the people in your life.

A little self-love will enhance

every part of your life.




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Affirmation: Compassion



Questions to Ask Yourself:

1. In what ways have I shown compassion today?

2. How can I be even more compassionate tomorrow?

3. How does being compassionate benefit me?


I am sensitive to the needs of others and help in any way I can. I listen to other people with a loving and compassionate and forgiving heart. I choose to exercise compassion with all that I meet.

Compassion is a way of life for me. I strive to be more compassionate with each brand new day and with every new experience.

I find it increasingly easy to allow kindness and consideration into my life.

Compassion is simply a part of who I am; I feel it and live it.

When I feel challenged in my ability to be compassionate, I remind myself of how important compassion is to me, as well as to others. I benefit as well when I am kind and sensitive to others and their needs.

Compassion is an important part of unconditional love.

I use my empathy and kindness to help uplift those I love and bring them more self-confidence and joy.



Being compassionate is a way of life for me.

Today is the day that I show the world just how compassionate I can be.

The evidence of my compassion is clear through my words

and actions.

Being compassionate is a way of life for me. 

Compassion is my guiding principle and using it daily is the

only acceptable way for me to live.




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How to Get People to “No”



Saying, “No,” to request, often seems like it should be such a simple task. The three year old that lives inside our heads wants to scream and say, “No. It is only two letters long. What part don’t you understand?” But, we are not three and we have to try to maintain peaceful and productive interactions and relationships with people.

Are you finding it difficult to be assertive and say “No” to people’s requests? Since there just are not enough hours in the day to appease everyone, the art of saying “No” without crushing the feelings of others is an important skill to acquire.

Saying “No” does not mean you have to be rude in the way that you do it. There are plenty of polite, yet assertive, in which to  tell people “No” when you need to.

How to get to “No,” without being rude or impolite:

1. “No” to now, but “Yes” to later.

  • “I am very busy at the moment. Perhaps someone else can help you in the meantime. If not, I will have a little time later in the week to help you out.”
  • This is a great way to say “No.” It is assertive, without being aggressive. It is  both positive and kind.
  • You let the person know there is no way that you can do what they are asking at this moment. However, you give them the options of either asking someone else to help them, or they will need to wait until you have the time to help them out.

2. “No” unless something changes.

  • “I am very flattered that you have asked me. However, I am not currently in a position where I can take on this responsibility. Perhaps we talk about this at another time if there is a change in my circumstances.”
  • This statement says “no” while still being very polite.
  • You convey to them how thrilled you are that they have asked you, but you are also being honest about how little time you have to commit to their request.

3. A definitive “No.”

  • “I hate to disappoint you, but I am not able to do this. I am concerned that I will overextend myself.”
  • With this statement, you express regret for disappointing the person, yet you still let them know that this is a solid and definitive “No.”
  • There is little doubt that they will understand that you do not want to overextend yourself, which makes them sympathetic to the plight that you are in as well.
  • This answer is very kind and polite. Plus, it allows them to understand where you are coming from.

4. “No” to attend an event.

  • “I had a great time before, but I will not be able to make it this time because I am already over scheduled.”
  • Sometimes you may get asked to an event that you do not wish to attend or that you just do not have the time for.
  • You do not have to feel obligated to go.
  • This statement lets the person know that you have had a great time in the past, yet you’re overbooked or busy this time around.

5. “No” to loaning money.

  • “I really wish I could but I make it my practice not to loan money to friends and family.”
  • Money is one thing that many people ask for from their friends and family.
  • It can be a difficult situation because you do not want to insult them or hurt their feelings.
  • This statement is a nice way to be assertive, say “No,” and still being kind.
  • You let them know that you wish you could loan them the money, yet you go on to explain why you will not.
  • You make it clear that this is the practice you have for everyone, and you are not just saying “no” to him or her personally.
  • This is similar yo the answer I give for requests to co-sign loans. “I do not even co-sign for my children.”

You have the ability to take control of your calendar, and your sanity, by saying “No” to many offers that come your way. Saying “No” in a pleasant tone of voice will not lose any friends. It will, however, help you learn to set boundaries so you can enjoy life rather than racing through it.


Saying, “No,” to more of the things in life that no longer hold meaning or significance

for us, frees us from a great deal of busy work and rushing about.

It also leaves space and time, to say,”Yes”

to self-care and, to fresh, and often unexpected opportunities.



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Affirmation: Everything I Need…



Self-Reflective Questions:

1. What am I most thankful for in this moment?

2. What are some times I received exactly what I needed exactly when I needed it?

3. Do I readily allow good things to enter into my life?


I want for nothing. I am provided with exactly what I need, exactly when I need it. I experience this phenomenon almost daily.

Every morning, I start the day by reminding myself of all the blessings and resources that are so readily given to me. The knowledge that I am free from worrying about lack and scarcity empowers me. Abundance is prevalent in my life.

My example allows others to see the abundance that exists around them as well. This is exciting to me.

As others discover their abundance, my own feeling of abundance grows greater. Others appreciate and admire the things I have and am able to accomplish. It offers them hope and inspires them. They feel that if I can do it, so can they too.

I am surrounded by opportunities. I appreciate everything that is available to me and gratefully share my gifts with others. I enjoy the constant flow of abundance that is part of my everyday existence.


Affirmation- everything I need is all around me. Doc




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8 Ways of Thinking that Do Not Serve Us Well




Our thoughts impact our actions, and ultimately, the level of success we achieve in the things we attempt. Our thought patterns influence our emotions and our perspective of the world around us. If you can identify your less-than-helpful thought patterns, you can work to correct them and develop new ways of managing yourself and the world.

Your thought patterns influence every aspect of your life:

1. Making assumptions.

Making good decisions requires gathering information. Too many of us jump to false conclusions because we do not have all the facts. Before you reach a negative conclusion about a situation or person, delay your judgment. Instead, gather all the available information and make an informed decision.

  • How many times have you made a decision too quickly and regretted it?
  • Give yourself the chance to get it right.

2. Applying the past to the future.

The most gorgeous person in high school may have ignored you, but that has nothing to do with your ability to appeal to the person of your dreams today. The past does not have to equal the future.

  • Most of us are too quick to believe that we are experts regarding our abilities.
  • One failure is not enough evidence to prove anything. Pharmaceutical companies are not allowed to test a new drug or device on a single person and then release it to the public. Many, many attempts are required to prove that results are not due to random chance.
  • You would not believe that a flipped coin will only land on “heads” in the future after flipping it once or twice and getting that result? Would you?
  • Even if you currently lack natural skill in one area, you always have the ability to learn.
  • You were not born knowing how to walk or do algebra. By the same token, you can learn to become a better public speaker, salesperson, or social butterfly, as well.

3. Focusing too much on either the positive or the negative.

Strive to be accurate. Think about when you first start dating someone new. At first, you are completely focused on all their positive traits. As the relationship is matures, or begins to fail, the only things you can seem to observe are their negative and annoying habits. Neither is totally accurate.

4. Giving things too much importance, or too little relevance.

Do you give your failures too much of your attention? Do you give your successes too little? Take a balanced view. Just because your boss ignored your morning greeting does not usually mean that you are about to be fired. Give yourself the credit you deserve.

5. Taking something personally that has absolutely nothing to do with you.

People do and say things for many reasons that do not include what is going on with your life. They may simply be having a bad day or dealing with a personal issue absolutely unrelated to work. Your car breaking down does not indicate that the universe is out to get you. Others have more on their mind than just you.

6. Living in the past.

The past provides us with life lessons. However, most people do not use the past in a constructive manner. They focus on all of the missed opportunities and missteps. When used this way, the past creates feelings of regret, and a feeling of doom and gloom going forward. Let go of the past and avoid allowing it to cloud your vision of today, and your plans for your future.

7. Focusing on the future.

Having goals and plans is important! But, commonly, people use the future as a source of worry. Stay focused on today. Today is the only time you can do anything to change your life. Allow the future to arrive in its own time and way. It will come soon enough.

8. Putting things off.

Is it easier to have your muffler replaced when you first begin to notice that it is extra noisy, or you can see that it is deteriorating. Or, you can choose to wait until it falls off in the middle of the highway? Actually, my mother’s muffler fell off during a funeral procession. :)

If you wait until you are forced to deal with things, your solutions will be less elegant and less convenient. See one of our posts on Procrastination. Do things on your time.


We all indulge in at least a few of these negative thought patterns? Taking the time to notice our tendencies is the first step toward changing them. When we can catch yourself thinking in a way that clouds our judgement, we have an opportunity to replace our thought pattern with one that serves us so much better.



A clouded mind can rarely see beyond its own justifications. Doc


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Affirmation: Do Not Lose Your Sense of Wonder and Awe




Questions to Ask Yourself:

1. What are some of the positive aspects of my life?

2. How can I accept that there are many wonderful things that I am failing to notice?

3. In what ways would my life change if I focused my energy on noticing all the wonders around me?


I am grateful for all the wonderful things that happen in my life on a regular basis. Amazing events and experiences are taking place around me all the time.

In the past, I have sometimes failed to recognize all the wondeful aspects of my life. I am learning to recognize them now. My eyes are open and I see the beauty all around me.

I have so much to be grateful for. My life is a gift.

Many of life’s wonders are small and subtle. Therefore, it can be challenging to notice them at times. My senses are becoming more attuned to the great things that are happening in my life and in the world.

When I notice these wonders, my life is changed for the better. Focusing on the positives helps reduce the impact of the more challenging times I face.

When I concentrate on the good, I am able to boost my mood. A positive attitude makes it easier to overcome the challenges of life.

Incredible things are happening in my life each day. It is remarkable to see how many wonderful experiences I am exposed to.

Wonderful things are happening in my life. Doc



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How to Stop Opportunities From Slipping Through Your Grasp




Just as money is the root, and not the cause of “all” evils, procrastination is the root of most of our unachieved dreams and success. It is the most important factor that stands between us and the prize we have set our eyes on. But somehow it seems difficult to eradicate.

For some reason, we are often held in the grip of  delaying the tasks at hand, like a magnet. The sense that there will be enough time to get things done can often be misleading to us. It can make the difference between celebrated success and shattered dreams.

How to Conquer Your Procrastination Beast 

1. Prioritize the opportunities presented to you.

  • If something is not important to you, you will probably spend very little time trying to achieve it. This reality is the basis of your personal priority list. The achievements that really matter most belong at the top of that list. Everything else can fall into “whenever”. And that may even mean falling off the list completely!
  • Focus on the things that give you the most inner joy and happiness. Skip what popular opinion thinks. If something gives you butterflies every time you think about it, that is something you want to work toward.
  • Once your list is in place, begin at the very top. The most important thing deserves the most attention. You are guaranteeing yourself ultimate satisfaction once you achieve it!

2. Break down tasks into achievable, actionable steps.

  • It is very easy to put things off because they seem overwhelming. Our natural instinct may be to shy away from things that are too complex. We can alter this mindset by breaking down our tasks. This makes the prize, or goal, seem more attainable.
  • Set very small tasks. You may even want to turn them into daily tasks. Give yourself some time each day to work towards something.
  • Once you have checked something off your list, you will be one step closer to the prize. The feeling of progress is incomparable!

3. Renew your commitment every single day.

  • In order to stay on track, it is important to maintain commitment to the goal. That can be more easily achieved by renewing our commitment every day.
  • When you wake up, remind yourself of your purpose.
  • Take a look at what you are motivated to achieve.
  • The feeling of excitement about achieving a desired goal is constantly alive. You only need reengage it regularly.
  • This exercise also helps you to maintain focus on what is important to you.
  • Also, you may even find that the spark of a particular goal fades. This can happen when we come to  realize something we thought was important really is not.
  • Daily renewal helps us zone in on what means the most to us.

4. Reward yourself for each achievement.

  • It is important to keep yourself engaged and focused on your goal. A great way to do this is to reward yourself. As you achieve each small task, celebrate the progress you have made.
  • Make a significant effort to celebrate your achievement. A half-hearted effort is not really enough. To maintain commitment, you have to reward yourself appropriately every step of the way.
  • Treat yourself to something you have always wanted. Perhaps, in the past, you avoided spending on it because it “wasn’t worth it.” But now you have every reason to go get it, because you are worth it and you have done the work to earn it!
  • Being kind to yourself is the best way to motivate continued focus on your goals. When you know there is some kind of reward at the end, you will likely commit every ounce of effort necessary.

Someday is not a day of the week. Janet dailey


You have  more than enough reasons to go after goals that are meaningful to you. If you are being honest with yourself, you could easily list them all on a piece of paper.

Focus on doing something to move toward you goal(s) today.

Leave tomorrow for the celebration of today’s success!


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Affirmation: Conscientious Decision-Making

The seven social sins frederick lewis donaldson


Questions to Ask Yourself:

1. Have my conscientious decisions ever been unpopular with others?

2. Do I sometimes get impatient with myself when I spend too much time in consideration before making a decision?

3. Are there elements that challenge my approach to decision-making?


I am conscientious.

In every situation, my natural instinct is to be conscientious. I put a lot of thought and careful consideration into everything I do and say, and I am confident that such an approach inspires the trust of others.

My disciplined nature allows me to exercise patience with my decision-making. I believe that it is important to be careful and meticulous in every situation, even when time is working against me. I can be careful and thorough without taking a lot of time.

I allow myself to concentrate on the mission at hand and this focus helps me make the best decisions. It allows me to consider all the factors before coming to a conclusion.

I stand behind my decisions because I conscientiously make every single one of them.

At work, my colleagues consider me  a good leader because I avoid making hasty decisions. I look at the position of the company and ensure that my choices are in keeping with our efforts to keep the organization moving in a forward direction. I thoughtfully consider all factors to contribute to making the most positive choices.

In my social interactions, I give advice that I know is well thought out and supported by facts, so my point of view can be trusted.

Affirmation- I strive to be a conscientious person. Doc




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How to Begin to Heal Emotionally




For most of us, our emotions really take a beating when our hearts are aching. Sometimes it feels like the day of healing is light-years away. The difficult times we have encountered in the past can take a while to be purged from our systems.

It is certainly healthy to experience a wide range of emotions. However, it is unwise to have the negative ones consume our existence. We are better off working towards healing the hurt. In that way, we can begin to re-experience joy and happiness.

Emotional healing is possible if we work at repairing the source of the hurt. You will see, as you continue to read, that this can sometimes mean making some tough decisions.

1. Remove some of the negative influences from your life.

  • If you are really honest with yourself, you will realize something important. Some of the negative influences in our lives may very well be the people closest to us! It is going to be a challenge separating from them. But your emotional health is more important that maintaining many of those relationships.
  • Are any of your friends guilty of adding fuel to the fire?
  • Can you identify times when those closest to you have encouraged you to avoid forgiving someone who offended you?
  • You can very quickly identify people whose advice is riddled with negativity.
  • Avoid allowing the years of friendship cloud your judgment.
  • You almost guaranteed to have continued misery if you keep them in your life.

2. Accept responsibility for your actions.

  • It is often difficult to look in the mirror, right? Deep down, we know that some of our actions resulted in the hurt we feel. But it can be difficult to accept the part we played in the way events unfolded.
  • Confront your own wrongdoings.
  • Be adult enough, and courageous enough to accept responsibility for your actions.
  • Inner peace can elude you if you try to cover up the role you played. Inner turmoil can be just as unbearable as physical discomfort.
  • In the same breath, be willing to forgive yourself so you can move on to better days ahead.

3. Live according to your moral compass.

  • You likely have a set of morals to live by. And while we know they exist, we may sometimes avoid them when making decisions. Abandoning morals is the easiest way to make missteps in life.
  • Go back to your roots. Take a hard look at what really matters to you. Start to re-embrace those morals one by one.
  • Start to fix the way you approach situations. If making a decision means abandoning your moral compass, take another route.
  • Just like any other compass, our moral compass keeps us on track. It is, by far, the best way to avoid getting lost in the sea of emotional turmoil and decision-making.

4. Renew daily. 

  • The road to emotional healing is long and winding. It is something that usually takes quite a bit of time to achieve. But it can be done! All you need to do is re-commit to your cause every morning when you wake up.
  • Daily renewal is the best way to turn your emotional healing into habit. When you go for days without this renewal, it is very easy to slip back into the heartache.
  • Be fair to yourself. Remember you deserve the healing.
  • At the end of each day, think on the positives, and celebrate your progress.
  • Congratulate yourself for completing one more day of healing and positive living. You will find that you rest more soundly at night.

Emotional healing . Doc


Achieving emotional healing is  not an automatic process. It takes time, attention, and intention. Now is the time to really begin to take care of yourself. Focus on what you need and block out all of the extraneous noise around you. These tips will help you on your healing journey.


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Affirmation: Patience for Goals




Questions to ask yourself:

1. Can outside factors affect my self-confidence and cause me to doubt my ability to achieve a goal?

2. Do I help my colleagues with realistic goal-setting?

3. Am I doing anything consistently that gets in the way of achieving my goals?


I love the challenge of setting a goal and working towards achieving it.

I feel inspired to dig deep and call on my strongest attributes, especially when the goal seems particularly difficult to achieve. I know I am capable, and that is enough to help push me forward.

When setting goals, I am patient with myself. I admit that it is very easy to get excited at the thought of attaining something important to me, but I remind myself that everything happens in its own time.

I take a realistic approach when looking at goal-setting. I take an introspective look at my situation and honestly identify the factors that may prevent attainment of the goal in the time I would want it to happen.

I accept the opposing factors as challenges and develop a game plan to conquer them.

I achieve my goals much more easily when I break them down into tangible pieces. This approach allows me to exercise patience as I focus on the smaller steps along the way to success. I also maintain my patience by setting a realistic timeline for attaining each step.


Affirmation - I am patient with myself when setting goals. Doc



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10 Ways to Show Your Ability to Handle Pressure at Work




Is your job demanding?

Being able to deal with pressure in the workplace is a highly sought-after skill. If pressure at work is part of your everyday life, you will be pleased to learn that there are things you can do to both lower the pressure and prove to others that you can handle pressure effectively.

Here are some ideas to put into action to impress your supervisors and work colleagues with how great you handle on-the-job pressure:

1. Remain calm, always. Maintain a calm demeanor no matter what happens. This takes some practice, but the more you practice, the better you will get. Staying calm demonstrates that you have the ability to take things in stride and complete your tasks even in the face of difficult circumstances.

2. Stay focused on what needs to be accomplished. Even though the day may be stressful, keep your mind firmly focused on completing your regular responsibilities.

3. Help others to get through their taxing day. If you notice your co-workers are struggling with their tasks, help them finish and become the leader you know you are!

Your friends will believe in your potential Tim Fargo


4. Sidestep the drama and stay positive. Refuse to engage in arguments or other disagreements with your colleagues. Keep busy to enable your thoughts to remain positive and focused. We all get sucked into drama periodically. But, if you are getting really wound up, stop and think what you feel the final resolution should be. Stop, breathe, take a step back, and the proceed with a clear mind.

5. Get help if you need it. Part of your job as an employee is to protect your employer. Notice if there is something out of line and get the help that you need immediately. Assessing the situation and taking care of issues right away demonstrates that you can think clearly under pressure.

6. Steer clear of too much caffeine. Coffee is a good stimulant, and while it can be a good thing for you in small amounts, too much of it can actually cause you undue stress. Limit your coffee intake and space them out throughout your work time. Chocolate is also a stimulant, so go easy on the chocolate snacks.

7. Take your breaks. Taking short breaks helps you release pent-up stress, rejuvenates you, and actually enables you to be more productive. Take a walk to the restroom or just get up and move about your office space.

8. Utilize your vacation time wisely. Plan your vacation during slow times at your job. Staying during the busy times shows your employer your dedication.

9. Join in with big projects. From time to time, your company may need help with a large or complex project. Take on the responsibility willingly. Showing your ability to be flexible demonstrates your willingness to step out of your comfort zone, openness to learning something new, as well as your ability to handle added pressure.

10. If you are feeling stressed, avoid letting it show too much. Carry on with your responsibilities, no matter what is going on. Consciously bringing your mind back to your current action in completing your important tasks will help you let go of worrying and other stress.


True character is revealed in the choices robert mckee


Staying positive and focusing on your work, regardless of the circumstances, demonstrates tremendous ability to handle pressure at work. Employers look for this trait when they hire new employees and when they consider which employees to promote. Being able to deal with pressure is a handy skill that can help advance your career.

Practice using these tips and you will find that you get better and better at dealing effectively with the pressures you encounter at work.


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Fun in the Sun. Guest post by .@BeauSides

One day a group of friends and I went to a local store, similar to a Walmart, in China.  While we were there, we purchased several toys for the children at a special needs orphanage which Global Partners in Life supports.  As we were walking through the shopping area and checking out, I am sure the indigenous people wondered what in the world the adult foreigners were doing with so many children’s sizes of bikes, cars, and tricycles.

When we arrived at the orphanage and presented the gifts to the children, to say they were excited would be a huge understatement. We took the children to a playground outside their home for some extra space to play. Initially, they didn’t do very well sharing time on the bikes. But with a little cooperation, it didn’t take long for them to understand that everyone gets some time to ride around. I was so proud of them!

We literally ran the wheels off the bikes that day. The training wheels were bent and needed to be straightened out. The rubber part of the training wheels was also coming off, and the back fender on another bike was way out of alignment.

My happiest moment came when a girl who has difficulty walking got her turn on one of the bikes. As she rode past everyone with a huge smile on her face, I had to wonder if that was the most freely and effortlessly she had ever moved. This is why I wrote Unseen Tears, so everyone could know of the challenges faced by orphans, their resilience, and victories worthy of celebrating.

This story is just one example of a small way we can help the special needs orphans of China. Even the smallest act of kindness towards these children can brighten their day.


In my new book, Unseen Tears, I tell many more stories like this one—stories that convey the simplicity by which these special children live and the simple things that can touch them immensely. I hope you will read and enjoy Unseen Tears and ask yourself what you can do for parentless children today.


Unseen Tears


Beau Sides is the author of Unseen Tears: The Challenges of Orphans & Orphanages in China and Lessons From China: A Westerner’s Cultural Education, both available on Amazon. Learn more about Beau at his website www.beausides.com or connect with him on Twitter @BeauSides.





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Affirmation: Balancing Needs- Ours and Others

lunatics keep their equilibriium under the full moon

Questions to ask yourself: 

1. How do I handle friends who resent my inability to help at a specific time?

2. When do I spend time working on my own coping skills?

3. In what specific ways do I handle stress when I am pulled in many directions to offer help?


I love my role as a friend and confidante to others and I take it very seriously. I treasure my ability to connect with others and fulfill their needs.

I am a good friend. I take pride in maintaining the confidence of those who trust me. I spend a significant amount of time catering to their needs. It gives me great pleasure.

I am readily available when someone needs my help. But I am careful to balance that with my own needs. I realize that I can only help others when I give myself enough attention, too.

My friends and colleagues often need my help with resolving conflicts. I know that I can help them if I spend time practicing and perfecting my conflict resolution skills.

At times I am pulled in many different directions. But, I am careful to take the path where I can offer the most support.

I view each need as important. I realize that I can be most effective when I prioritize everyone’s needs.

I spend time nurturing my relationships. I ensure that others know that I am willing to offer my assistance.

Affirmation Balancing needs mine and others Doc



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How to Keep Your Day Job AND Your Dreams Alive



Perhaps you envision yourself starring in a Hollywood movie or as a captain of a charter boat on a Caribbean island. But, in the meantime, you are spending your weeks sitting in a cubicle or chauffeuring your kids to soccer practice.

There is no need to envy those risk-takers who drop it all to start a sheep farm in Montana or tutor kids in South America. Plenty of adults manage to juggle family and business responsibilities while they write their novel at night or complete their MBA online.

Whether you choose to take the fast track or a slower route, you can still live out your dreams.

If you are looking for something less drastic than running away to join the circus, here are a few ideas to consider for pursuing your passions without giving up your day job.


How to Make the Most of Your Day Job

1. Enjoy financial security. A steady paycheck is probably the most obvious advantage to holding off on submitting your resignation. It is a great deal easier to think clearly when your basic material needs are covered.

2. Plan and execute your strategy. Stable employment also gives you time to map out your future. Figure out what training and networking you need to get from point A to point B.

3. Maintain structure in your life. Depending on your personality, a wide-open schedule can either feel liberating or overwhelming. Sticking to what is routine for you may help keep you prompt and punctual.

4. Build your motivation. The upside of low job satisfaction is that it could drive you to explore other career paths. Think about what you would rather be doing,

5. Operate part time. On the other hand, you may just want to supplement a job you already love. Your passion project could remain a side venture. For instance, a hospital administrator or hardware store clerk may choose to build birdhouses on their weekends.

6. Scale back. Of course, if your job sucks up all of your time and energy like a black hole, you may need to switch gears. Find some balance, even if is temporary, by moving into a less demanding position.

7. Be on the look-out for areas of overlap. Whatever you do for a living, you can probably identify your favorite tasks. Leveraging your strengths at work will lay a solid foundation for your own endeavors.


We dream to give ourselves hope. Amy Tan


Additional Tips

1. Schedule downtime. Adding more activities into an already hectic week can be challenging. Avoid burnout by taking regular breaks and getting adequate sleep. It is important to schedule breaks. Tasks have a way of bleeding into each other, and the time magically disappears. Your rest, recreation and restoration are not good places to practice the principle of “robbing Peter to pay Paul.”

2. Surround yourself with support. Let your family and friends know what they can do to help you succeed. Give each other encouragement and practical assistance.

3. Scale back your budget. Create more flexibility by living more simply. Cut back on your monthly expenses like cable TV or expensive car payments if you want to free up funds for college tuition or international travel.

4. Research your options. Maybe you have wanted to become a stand-up comedian since you were in the third grade or maybe you are still searching for what you want to do. Talk with others about their experiences and read interesting memoirs. Dive in to a few experiments of your own.

5. Set long-term and short-term goals. Stay focused by establishing clear goals. Knowing your immediate targets will give you a game plan for what you need to do each day. Longer-term objectives will help you define what a meaningful life means to you. While you are at it, write out your plans and review them frequently.

6. Stay the course. Commit yourself for the long haul. Give yourself credit for making the effort and enjoy the journey regardless of the results.

It’s very hard to have ideas. Amy Poehler


You can continue to dream big while you work 9 to 5. Turn your current position into a resource that will help you learn to love what you do and do what you love.



Photo Credit: `Olivier Jules` via Compfight cc

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