The words we use when we try to express ourselves has an impact on the people around you. We have all met individuals who are seemingly unaware of how their words affect others. How about you? Do you use your words to uplift others or tear them down?
There are precious few times in our lives that being the smartest, or the quickest wit in the room or meeting helps to resolve any issues. More often it ends up putting someone off, or worse, putting them and their ideas down. And, all this without offering an alternative concrete solution.
A great deal of thought needs to go into how we communicate with people. Just as we talk a great deal about listening, (see, The importance of active listening), we should be careful to put just as much effort we put into how we communicate, and therefore how we are listened to and received.
Perhaps you have been thinking about mending a few fences lately. Maybe you just want to ensure that you are using the most supportive and healing language you can come up with to speak your mind.
Whatever the case, here are some words to use often and generously in your conversation. These terms usually make others feel great and go a long way toward mending relationships that require fixing.
Words to Keep in Mind:
1. I am listening. Sometimes, when someone important to you is trying to share their feelings, you might be busy or distracted with something else… like your phone. If you can switch your attention from what you are doing to your loved one momentarily, they will feel like they really matter to you.
2. I am sorry. One of the most healing things you can do for another person and yourself is to say, “I am sorry.” Even if you have been stubborn and working hard to avoid saying it, try it out a few times. It will make you feel like you are wiping your slate clean of the error you made. Plus, when your apology is truly sincere, it will encourage you to be more careful of your words and actions in the future.
3. I forgive you. Getting to the point of forgiving someone else can take a lot of time and soul-searching. However, when you truly accept and forgive, you are freed from the weight of your own hurt, resentment, and anger. It is a humbling, yet positive experience to forgive others for something they did that upset you. You already have the power to mend an important relationship by using three simple words: I forgive you.
4. I appreciate what you do. According to the Wordbook Dictionary, to appreciate someone is to value, admire, honor, or take notice of them.
- Wouldn’t it feel great if someone you love or respect told you that they actually appreciated something you did?
- When you tell others you appreciate them, they see that you have noticed what they do. You will appear optimistic and spread that optimism to the other person.
- To begin healing a less-than-satisfactory relationship, add this simple sentence, “I appreciate you” to your vocabulary and use it often.
5. I know you can do it. Directly expressing your confidence in someone can buoy their spirits and boost their confidence. When you hear that someone else believes you can achieve something, don’t you begin to feel and believe more in yourself too? So does everyone else.
6. I love you. When you cherish your close relationships, you will want to use caring and supportive words often. Saying, “I love you” is just about the most emotionally supportive and caring words you can say. When a loved one is having a tough day or just for no reason at all, these spoken words can bring warmth, joy, and solace to their day, and to their aching heart or pride. When you say, “I love you,” it is a simple expression that transmits so much. Your connection is strengthened by it.
Using the language of mending feelings each day can be one of the most soothing and supportive habits you can develop. Speaking words like, “I’m listening,” “I’m sorry,” and “I forgive you” heals.
Saying, “I appreciate what you do,” “I know you can do it,” and “I love you” can turn shed a little light into someone else’s terrible day.
Share your love and joy for life by using more of the language that mends and uplifts the souls of those you care about. Your kindness will be returned to bring you even more happiness.
And, yes, it is true that we do not always have the right words to help put things back together, but we can always have the right heart, the right intentions. And, sometimes words are not the answer. Just be present.