Affirmation: Self-Confidence


Questions to Ask Yourself:

1. Does my self-confidence come across as arrogance to others?

2. Do I recover quickly after a door is closed to me?

3. How can I teach others to embrace their inner strengths?


I am very aware of my strengths and exude confidence when those strengths are called upon to support me and drive me forward. I know what I am capable of doing and believe in my natural abilities.

I am confident in me.

I consider myself a go-getter and a high achiever.

Even when faced with insecurities, I exhibit the self-confidence to push through challenges and obstacles. I rarely allow my feelings to get in the way of the knowledge I need to master something new. Acquiring the knowledge paves the way to developing new skills.

In any new experience, my self-confidence conquers my doubts.

I allow others to see the kind of confidence that says, “I can do this!” When they see my confidence, they also feel more secure.

I know that my confidence will overshadow the inexperience I may have at the beginning of a new situation.


My self-confidence conquers the doubts that may be caused

by my inexperience.

Today, I remind myself that life is what I make of it.

I know that anything I want to achieve is doable and actionable, 

if I simply believe in myself.

I am a living testimony to the fact that self-confidence has the ability

to knock down any obstacles in the way of achievement.




Photo Credit: David365 via Compfight cc

Would you like to receive Doc's writings in your inbox?

11 Ways to Make Constructive Criticism Your Most Powerful Ally



Providing criticism can be a little a like walking on eggshells. You want to be helpful, but, sometimes, egos can easily be bruised. However, good criticism has great value. Sometime people do not understand the mistakes they are making.

Providing constructive criticism effectively is a learned skill. Providing to poorly criticism poorly almost alwats turns into a nightmare.

Strategies to deliver positive criticism effectively:

1. Ensure your criticism is actually helpful.

  • There are many things we can say that are true, but not all of them are helpful.
  • Unless you feel absolutely confident that your critique will be beneficial, keep your comments to yourself.
  • Consider what you are about to say and to whom.
  • Some people take criticism much better than others.
  • Even the best of intentions will not always result in a positive response.
  • Be prepared for a negative reaction.

2. Ensure that you are the best person to provide the criticism.

  • Consider your history with the other person.
  • Perhaps they would be more receptive to the ideas if someone else brought it to their attention.

3. Be very specific.

  • It is not helpful if you say, “Man, it wasn’t very good.”
  • Specific feedback is much more beneficial and actionable.
  • Focus on a few key points and provide specific suggestions on how to remedy the situation.

4. Choose an appropriate time and place.

  • Do not provide criticism in front of the other person’s peers. This is, at best, a questionable practice.
  • In most cases, a little privacy is a far superior idea.
  • Attempt to minimize the embarrassment the other person might feel.

5. Keep your own emotions under control.

  • You may have good reason to feel upset, but your criticism will have the wrong tone.
  • Calm yourself down, and give the feedback in a fair and balanced way.
  • Watch the tone of your voice, as well.

6. Focus on the behavior, not the person.

  • Telling someone that they are sloppy will always be received as an insult.
  • Telling them their tennis backhand technique is inconsistent addresses the specific behavior.
  • When you attach the error to the person, resentment occurs.
  • Would you rather have your significant other ask you to pick up your dirty socks or have them ask why you are such a slob?
  • The difference in the responses would be startling.

7. Smile a little

  • Just about everything is easier with a smile.
  • Use open body language.
  • Show that your message is sincere.
  • A smile also conveys that everything will be okay.

8. Start with a sincere compliment, if possible.

  • Say something positive about their performance before launching into your criticism.
  • A critique is easier to take after hearing a compliment.
  • End the criticism session with a compliment also.

9. Small steps.

  • Even if you can spot 20 flaws, keep your comments limited to the one or two that are most easily fixed.
  • Set people up to be successful.
  • Too much criticism can be overwhelming.
  • Help others to perform at their best.
  • When the smaller errors have been corrected, feel free to address the more significant issues.
  • You also build trust with this tip. The more serious criticisms can then easier to accept.

10. A little humor goes a long way.

  • Be lighthearted if it is appropriate.
  • Humor makes everything just a little more palatable.
  • Share a funny story about the mistakes you have made in the past. This will help to ease any tension or embarrassment.

11. Know when to stop.

  • Pay close attention to their reaction.
  • It will be obvious when they have had enough. When that happens, it is time to wrap things up.
  • There will always another time and place to revisit the issue.


If you have children, employees, colleagues at work, or a significant other, there will be occasions to provide constructive criticism.

Depending on the situation, providing criticism can help us too, especially if the other person is driving you crazy.

Providing criticism well is a skill you can learn. Learn to be helpful and provide constructive comments to the people in your life.

An acquaintance merely enjoys your company,

a fair-weather companion flatters when all is well,

a true friend has your best interests at heart

and the pluck to tell you what you need to hear.

E.A. Bucchianeri



Photo Credit: JoshuaDavisPhotography via Compfight cc

Would you like to receive Doc's writings in your inbox?

Affirmation: Make Wise Decisions



Questions to Ask Yourself:

1. What are some examples of great decisions that I make easily?

2. What decisions have I been avoiding?

3. What is stopping me from making that decision today?

4. How can I get around that hindrance and choose my wisest option?


Every day I make wise decisions that bring me closer and closer to my dreams. I find it easy to make a positive decision, regardless of the subject matter or circumstances.

I make decisions that support where I am and where I want to go. Wise decisions become obvious to me because I am aware of my goals and values.

When I find myself indecisive, I remember what is most important and allow those priorities to guide my decision process.

When I have a difficult decision to make, I seek solitude. I meditate and pray. I find that the best option is revealed very quickly in this way. I smile when this happens and feel a sense of gratitude. The best decision is always obvious if I allow myself to see it clearly.

I celebrate each good decision that I make. I enjoy the feeling of satisfaction that comes from making decisions easily.

Others seek out my advice when they have a difficult decision to make and I enjoy sharing my decision-making process with them.


Making wise decisions is easy for me.

Today, I find the most positive options for my decisions quickly and easily.

Making such decisions is natural for me, and I am great at it.

My life improves every day because of my wise decisions.



Photo Credit: Brett Jordan via Compfight cc

Would you like to receive Doc's writings in your inbox?

7 Ways to Enhance Your Eye Contact


The amount of eye contact we maintain during conversations is learned in childhood. A lack of eye contact is often interpreted as dishonesty or a lack of confidence. Like any other habit we wish to develop, change is challenging and requires a little effort. Even if you routinely stare at your feet while dealing others, you can develop a better habit of maintaining eye contact during conversation.

1. Practice your eye contact while listening to others.

  • If looking someone in the eye while you are speaking is too difficult at this time, look while they are speaking instead.
  • There is a fine line between looking too much and not enough.
  • Look them in the eye for few seconds, and then look at their mouth. After a few more seconds, shift your focus and attention on their other eye.

2. Practice with strangers.

  • Walk through your local mall or other crowded location. As you pass by others, look them in the eye and smile. When that becomes easier, say, “Hi” while maintaining good eye contact.
  • Ask a stranger for directions.
  • Ask a store clerk a question. Look the cashier in the eye while you are paying.
  • Take advantage of every opportunity to practice your eye contact skills. Have a chat with your neighbor. Have good eye contact with the other patrons while you are out having dinner or drinks. People are everywhere.
  • Imagine that everyone was put on earth to help you with your eye contact.

3. Have a staring contest with a friend.

  • If you can stare someone in the eye for 60 seconds straight, you will have an easier time maintaining normal eye contact during social interactions.
  • Avoid just staring silently at each other. Carry on a conversation while you are at it.
  • Try this same activity, but with a child. Not only will you enhance your eye contact, but you will also get a good laugh out of the process.

4. Study the eye contact of someone with great social skills.

  • Everyone knows someone that can comfortably talk to anyone, anywhere.
  • Notice how they use their eyes.
    • Where do they look?
    • How long does it take before their eyes move?
    • Where do they look after breaking eye contact?

5. Slowly increase the amount of eye contact you use.

  • Add a few additional seconds of eye contact during your conversations.
  • It may take some time to reach a normal threshold, but the world is not going anywhere in the meantime.
  • Take your time and continue making improvements.
  • The first few days will be the toughest. Your progress will soar after that. Just keep going.

6. Look near the eyes, but not into the eyes.

  • This is difficult to do if you are too close together.
  • At normal conversation distances, the other person cannot tell if you are looking at their eye, their nose, or their forehead.
  • Pick a spot between the eyes, but just above or below the eyes.
  • This can be much easier than maintaining true eye contact.

7. Practice by yourself. Use a mirror.

  • Have a conversation with yourself in the mirror.
  • Maintain good eye contact with yourself.
  • What will be the topic of your conversation? Perhaps you can discuss how good looking the face in the mirror is.


Eye contact is a very important part of non-verbal communication. The proper amount of eye contact shows that you are socially astute and confident. You will also be considered more capable and trustworthy. A little effort can enhance your ability to communicate with others. And you will be taken more seriously. Just look them right in the eye.

“Eye contact is way more intimate

than words will ever be.”
Faraaz Kazi


Photo Credit: MSC U13 Green via Compfight cc

Would you like to receive Doc's writings in your inbox?

Affirmation: Life as Inspiration



Questions to Ask Yourself:

1. How can I inspire others?

2. Who could I inspire?

3. Who inspires me? Why?


I love my life. And, I often live the way others wish they could.

Every day is filled with hope, excitement, and abundance. I know who I am and what is important to me. It is easy to feel tranquil when I am clear about these things.

Others are pleasantly surprised at what is possible by having a positive attitude and making choices in accordance with our own values. They can sense the great inner peace that I possess. While many are nervous and uncomfortable, I move through the world easily and joyfully.

My commitment to my passions is inspiring. People can see the excitement and passion in my life. I live my life in a way that allows me to spend a lot of time on the things that are most important to me. My life inspires others to live their lives with more excitement.

I have the audacity to follow my inner voice. This voice guides me down the most positive path and frees me from the burden of hesitancy.

I give freely to others who may benefit from my help. This willingness to give may be the most inspiring fact about my life.


Life is a gift.

My life is an inspiration to others.

Today I promise myself to live a life that inspires others to be at their best.

I am an example of how wonderful life can be.

My life is an inspiration to others.




Photo Credit: markchadwickart via Compfight cc

Would you like to receive Doc's writings in your inbox?

8 Insights into Crushing Your Anxiety




Feeling anxious is a perfectly normal part of life. Feelings of anxiousness can be positive or negative. Anxiety can be help steer us ways from poor decisions, but those same feelings can also constrain us in negative ways. Whether these feelings of anxiety are helpful or not, it generally does not feel good. We tend to feel helpless to control our emotions, but this is far from true.

Techniques For Getting A Handle on Anxiety 

1. Laugh more often. It is very hard to feel overly anxious while you are genuinely laughing. Think about some of the funniest, or strangest experience you have had in life. Watch a TV show or a movie that makes you laugh out loud. Find a way to laugh in situations.

2. Life is a Contact Sport. Eventually, we are all headed to the same place. None of the things you are worry about today will matter in the long term. It is not always easy, nor simple, to maintain a long-term perspective, but not much is truly worthy of true fear and anxiety.

3. Get positive. When we think stressful thoughts, we get stressed. And, although it may present a challenge, we have the ability to choose our thoughts. So, it makes sense to make them as positive as possible. Think back about your favorite memories. Make a list of the many positive things in your life; past and present.

4. Drop the news habit. I do not think I have intentionally watched a news program in over 10 years. But, you know what? I have not missed out on a single vital event. If it important enough, someone will bring it to my attention. Or, I  may stumble across it online. I do not sit for hours in front of my TV or computer screen waiting for the next press-inflated hype. Get your head and mind into some book. Try visiting your local library and read a newspaper from the a century or two ago. The news has not changed. People are still complaining about the economy, taxes, politicians, and war. If the news is upsetting to you, you can choose to turn it off.

5. Begin the day positively. For most people, the mental wheels start turning as soon as their eyes open in the morning. I am not sure mine every really stop, but that’s another story and another post. :) Start taking control of your thoughts immediately. Focus on the great things you are working on accomplishing. Think about all the wonderful people in your life. Remember your favorite childhood vacation.

6. Finish the day positively. End your day in the same way. While lying in bed, keep your mind focused on the positive. Drift off to sleep with pleasant thoughts in your head.

7. Attack issues that cause anxiety while they are still small, and head-on. Rather than upsetting yourself, and wasting a lot of mental and physical energy worrying, why not use that energy to forge a solution. Worrying has never cured anything. Worrying is a symptom. If you can resolve the situation, do it.

8. Move on. If there is little, or nothing you can really do about the situation, go do something else. Find a distraction. Some distractions are better than others. Drugs, tobacco, and alcohol are obviously poor choices which only make life more challenging in the long run. Watching TV or surfing the internet are kind of neutral, except for the news, and many “reality” shows. Reading, volunteering, or exercising are positive distraction.


Anxiety is a part of our everyday lives. But, we do not have to wallow in it. There are many, many ways to reduce or eliminate your anxious feelings. Try a few of these techniques the next time you feel worry  ranking up. Combining a few of these tips can be especially helpful.

Life is meant to be lived, not bemoaned.

Change what you can.

Be kind to yourself.

Forget the rest.



Photo Credit: Faith K Lefever via Compfight cc

Would you like to receive Doc's writings in your inbox?

Affirmation: Inner strength




Questions to Ask Yourself:

1. What is my greatest demonstration of inner strength?

2. Where is my inner strength lacking? Is this area of lack limiting my life?

3. How can I further develop my inner strength?


My inner strength serves as an inspiration to myself, and to others. Inspiring others is important to me, and I can do so through demonstrations of great inner strength.

When I am feeling inadequate, I remember situations where I felt exceptionally strong. When I remember these times, I can feel my inner strength growing stronger and stronger; I feel like I can do and accomplish almost anything. My strength feels limitless.

My personal strength begins with my tremendous focus. I work on maintaining my focus on my objectives even when other things try to enter my mind.

I work at keeping tremendous focus and clarity. This clarity provides peace and comfort.

My morals form the next layer of my strength. I know that most things turn out as I think they should, provided I continue to live by my morals and guiding principles.

My values give me a sense of security and stability. They are the anchor of my life.

Commitment is important for the strength to persevere, especially through challenging times.

I visualize my projects and actions through to the end. I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment that completion provides me. I value my commitment as it serves to make me stronger.

I am a force to be reckoned with and my inner strength is boundless.



I have great inner strength.

Today, I allow my inner strength to develop

exponentially as I nourish it.

It allows me to accomplish things of value.

I feel that I grow in proportion to my inner strength.

~ Doc


Photo Credit: Pondspider via Compfight cc

Would you like to receive Doc's writings in your inbox?

8 Easy Steps to Derailing Your Career




Our careers do not manage themselves. Even if you are a superstar at work, it is always possible to make mistakes and missteps that can harm, or even end, your career trajectory. We all spend a lot of time at work. It would be a shame to undo all of those effort by making an easily avoidable mistake.

Mistakes that may harm your career:

1. Undervaluing your worth.

  • Avoid being afraid to ask for a raise or a promotion if you feel you deserve it. Few companies will give you more than you demand. If you are content to stay in the same place and make the same salary, they will be more than willing to accommodate you.
  • Be assertive, but stop short of being a nuisance.
  • You can always look for another position if you feel that you are being undervalued.

2. Failing to blow your own horn.

  • If you are doing good work, be sure that the word gets out.
  • Take advantage of sites like LinkedIn and keep your activities updated.
  • Do your peers know what you are up to? Let everyone know how great you are.
  • Take on projects that showcase your strengths.
  • Be willing to be seen.
  • Others will notice, and your reputation will grow.
  • Avoid bragging, but avoid being bashful.

3. Get out of the gossiping routine.

  • Talking about others is generally a mistake.
  • Whether it is a social occasion or a professional meeting, avoid speaking about other people unless you have something positive to say.
  • Every one of us has been negatively impacted by oversharing at some point.
  • Discuss ideas, yourself, and the other person taking part in the conversation.

4. Failing to make your boss look good.

  • At the end of the day, you are there to serve your boss and your company.
  • If you are making her or him look good, your job is secure.
  • If you are making them look bad, then you are not doing your job properly.

5. Being too negative.

  • There is no place at work for anyone who complains or criticizes all the time.
  • Maintain high standards and be supportive of your workplace.
  • If you cannot think of anything positive to say, it might be time to stay quiet. Or, it may be time to find new employment.
  • It is also a good policy to stay away from negative people. You might be penalized for associating with them.

6. Searching for another job on company time.

  • Your company is likely to check your internet log from time to time.
  • If you are spending time each day on, you may find that your employment ending prematurely.
  • Search for a new career on your own time and your own dime.

7. Publicly searching for a new job.

  • What you do on your own time is your own business, but you do not want your employer to know that you are seeking greener pastures.
  • Keep a lid on your social media messages.
  • It is not necessary, and it is certainly not smart, for the entire world to know that you would like to work somewhere else.

8. Underdressing.

  • Look around your office building. The people with the more prestigious jobs are generally better dressed than the rest of the crew.
  • A good rule of thumb is to dress as well as your boss. Avoid dressing like your peers.
  • People will begin to associate you with the more powerful people in your workplace.
  • When a new job opportunity becomes available within the company, you will have a better chance of success.

A career, like reputation, takes a long time to build up. They can both be ruined very quickly. Avoid making the mistakes that can derail your career. Remain professional and value your own worth. If you are thinking about another career, keep your search to yourself. You can share after you have secured your new position. Avoid being complacent in your current position. Be proactive and see your career blossom instead of fading away.


Photo Credit: boxchain via Compfight cc

Would you like to receive Doc's writings in your inbox?

Affirmation: Remaining Calm

3355318697_fb006a6774 (1)


Questions to Ask Yourself:

1. Do I always have the mental toughness I need to remain calm?

2. What lessons can I teach others from my experience in handling stressful situations?

3. Do I lead by example?


It is clear to me that life throws all sorts of odd things at me which attempt to get in the way of a peaceful, calm existence. I recognize how easily detractions can destroy my peace of mind, but I endeavor to prevent that from happening.

When I encounter stressful situations, my first thought is to remain calm. Getting worked up and frustrated only serves to increase the negative effects of stress. Negative stress is destructive, and I endeavor to remain on the positive side of life as much as possible.

When I am calm, I am able to reason more effectively. The ability to reason allows me to find a way through the stressful situation.

I am able to tackle the stressor and find a solution to the source of the challenge.

I realize that stressful situations help to mold me into a stronger, less fragile, individual. Rough times build resilience, and that resilience makes me more prepared to handle tough situations in the future.



I remain calm in the midst of stressful situations.

Today, my aim is to remain calm even when I feel like being reactive.

I know that there is always an answer and I can only find that answer 

if I remain mentally focused.



Photo Credit: iansand via Compfight cc

Would you like to receive Doc's writings in your inbox?

Maintaining Peace in the Office



Personal growth can be very challenging. Working with people who you wish would change often requires an even greater effort. You may not be able to completely avoid working with others whose habits you dislike or disapprove of, but you can choose to focus your energy on being the best person you can be.

When you do the best you can, you feel good about how you are living your own life.

By being the change you think you wish to see in others, you make your own life happier.

Also, it is likely that other people will see your increased satisfaction. When they do, they will want a piece of you have. If you choose to lead by example, you have a good chance at “converting” some people over to your way of thinking and doing.


Physical Changes Can Help Others Succeed

For anyone who is always surly at the office, unhealthy eating might be one of the causes. With this, you can set an example for your associates. That does not mean always pushing the latest diet fad or harassing your colleagues about their weight. Instead, live your life in a healthy, positive manner. Others may see that they can do it, too.

Try organizing healthy activities for people in the office. If you already do things as a group outside of work, you can move carefully toward more healthful activities. You do not have to run a marathon to be healthy. It can be as simple as a quick lunchtime walk.

If you can get your co-workers moving, you can effect lasting, positive change in their lives.


Mental and Emotional Changes Bring Joy

Here are a few suggestions to help your associates be more harmonious:

1. Play background music. Quiet and peaceful music works best. The selections should be something that almost everyone will like. Also, not everyone tunes out background noise well, so the music should be soft and generally without lyrics.

2. Affirm others and speak well of them. At times, you may have co-workers and colleagues you do not care for, but that is no reason to bad-mouth them to others. Find something nice to say to them or about them. If you really cannot say anything positive, just keep quiet. Gossiping never solves anything.

3. Pick your battles wisely. There will always be times when situations do not go exactly as you had planned, or when you have to stand up for yourself and your beliefs. You can do that in a non-confrontational way. Consider the interests and needs of the people you are interacting with. Talk to them intelligently and be fair. Always avoid attacking them personally.

If the battle isn’t one that you really must win, then, by all means, let it go.

Overall, when you are more relaxed and happy, others around you will be that way too. Most of them will see that they do not need to be short-tempered or pushy or angry to get things done. Positivity is a great message to send out to your workplace and to the world at large. When others adopt your new attitude, you spread happiness far beyond your immediate circle of influence.


Speak and interact gently in the workplace. You know you have good intentions, but others may not realize this. Avoid criticizing people or demanding that they do things your way. When you are peaceful and happy, others will find those things as well.


Photo Credit: creativecommoners via Compfight cc

Would you like to receive Doc's writings in your inbox?

5 Steps to Dealing with Conflict Graciously



We have all seen those beautiful Beta fish swimming in their tanks. But, have you ever noticed that they swim alone. The reason is that if you put two Betas in the same tank, they will fight to the death. But, we aren’t fish. And, few of us think we want to be the Betas. We all want to be the Alphas. But, that is not how life works for human beings. If, like the fish above, we let out tempers get the better of us, or rule over our interactions, then we will remain stuck in life, no matter the job we hold, nor the people we enter into relationships with.

If you have a short temper, dealing with conflict graciously can seem like an almost insurmountable challenge. The manner in which you treat other people affects your friendships, romantic relationships, career contacts, and even your job security.

To deal with conflict gracefully, be willing to accept change.

Tips the next time you face confrontation:

1. Step out of your own shoes.

Analyze the situation as objectively as you can, and this will allow you to truly see both sides of the story. Why is the other person so very upset? What could you possibly have done to offend them or make them feel as if they were wronged or attacked? Is there any real merit to their sentiment?

Remember, most people rarely lash out without some feeling of justification. Find the reason why you are being approached so hastily so that you can figure out how to diffuse the situation before it becomes more volatile.

2. Be more understanding.

Sometimes, all someone needs in order to calm down is to feel as if they are being heard and understood. Say something that will make them know that they have the right to feel as they do without completely throwing yourself under the bus.

Say something that shows that you care about what they have to say. Before you launch into your side or version of the story, seek to understand their point of view first. Find common ground and work from there to ensure a solution that you will both ultimately be happy with.

Offer to talk about their feelings. Ask why they feel this way and truly listen without judging. It is often very tempting to lash out if the other person is accusing you of doing something you clearly did not do. However, wait until they are done saying their piece before you chime in with your defense.

3. Keep your fingers and your hands to yourself.

When dealing with conflict, the coward’s approach to liberation is simply pointing the finger at the other person.

Take the high road by refraining from playing any childish blame games and focus on finding a solution, rather than harboring bitterness about the issue.

4. Keep your cool.

The easiest way to blow a situation out of proportion is to act angrily. Keep your voice low and under control. Keep your arms at your side. Attack the problem from the perspective of a teammate rather than placing blame.

Dealing with conflict gracefully is about being proud of the way you react. If you feel that you will   be embarrassed by your reaction later, it is best to choose a different, calmer approach to communication.

5. Everyone needs to be a winner.

The most gracious thing you can possibly do to resolve conflict is to seek an amicable outcome for everyone involved. Take a step back. Analyze the situation with a fresh set of eyes and figure out exactly what it is that all parties involved really want. What is the bottom line?


Dealing with conflict graciously is a skill that takes practice to develop, but the effort is worth it.

You can diffuse conflict with you gracious demeanor, compassion for others, and by focusing on finding a solution that makes everyone involved feel like a winner.

When we aren't curious in conversations we judge, tell, blame and even shame, often without even knowing it, which leads to conflict. kristen siggins


Join me on on Tuesday.

Photo Credit: S E B via Compfight cc

Would you like to receive Doc's writings in your inbox?

Affirmation: Openminded, but Not a Pushover



Questions to Ask Yourself:

1. Do I feel stressed in the midst of emotionally charged disagreements?

2. Am I willing to admit when another person’s perspective is more valid than mine?

3. Do I feel that conceding to someone’s view means that I am being a pushover?


I embrace participation in every area of my life and I acknowledge the input of others and place much emphasis on their points of view.

I believe that collective participation creates stronger teams and more effective forces in any situation.

Even though I consider the opinions of others, I am aware that my own point of view is also quite sound. I am willing and able to stand behind my views while respecting the views of the others involved.

I can look at each stance objectively and weigh the merits of each in any particular situation.

I enjoy interaction in the same way in which I enjoy opposition. They both give me opportunities to be confident in my point of view and develop to develop my skills.

When I encounter difficult situations where people are trying to trample my self-esteem, I respectfully give them their few moments of fame. At the first opportunity that presents itself, I rebut and stand firm without losing my composure. I believe that such an approach earns me the respect of others.

I believe that respect is earned.

Affirmation- open to views, not a pushover doc




Photo Credit: uri press via Compfight cc

Would you like to receive Doc's writings in your inbox?

10 Ways to Stay in Peace and Harmony




Walking in peace and harmony often sounds like an old, worn out cliché, but it is very  important! If you are searching for ways to cultivate peace and feel more connected, know that this experience comes from within you, not from the outside world. Open your mind and heart and you can experience the joy and beauty you seek.

Each of us finds connection in different ways.

Here are a few suggestions you can use to discover your own path to peace:

To Help Yourself, Focus Both Internally and Elsewhere

Whatever you pay attention to will grow and expand. If you spend all of your energy focused on your own problems and challenges, you may miss seeing the good in the world. You also may not notice the good in yourself.

However, when you focus on others and on the world around you, you can begin to see that there is beauty everywhere. You also see your own value and worth, because you can help others and respond to them differently than you might otherwise engage them.

To live a peaceful and harmonious life, it helps to discover who you truly are. To do this, explore the world as well as your own thoughts and beliefs.


Try a few of these:

1. Volunteer to share your talents and time with other people in need.

2. Spend time in prayer and/ or meditation to see what you can do to move forward.

3. Speak with others who are on their own journey toward greater self-knowledge.

4. Analyze your past to see how you can use your experiences to improve your present.

5. Spend time with people who radiate love and joy and peace.

6. As much as possible, avoid negative people who want to bring you or others down.

7. Read about positive thinking or attend workshops for a new perspective on life.

8. Seek more constructive ways to interact with the people in your life.

9. Ask others how you can help foster better relationships with them.

10. Tell the people in your life, including yourself, how much they are valued. No one hears this often enough…


Walking in Peace Takes a Great Deal of Practice

There are no magic answers for how you can be more peaceful. Like anything else in life that is meaningful and worthwhile, desire, motivation, and effort are required. However, it is important to stay relaxed about the process. If you agonize over how to be peaceful and harmonious, you will likely slow down your own progress.

When you make a conscious decision to walk in peace and harmony, this does not mean that you will never get upset again. Life will always bring us challenges. There are always issues that can get us down, and keep us down, if you let them.

If you have peace in your life, though, you will see a lot fewer of those upsetting times. And with more peace in your heart, you will also perceive your challenges differently.

By learning about more yourself, you will learn what really matters to you. You will be able to let go of the smaller issues and focus your energy elsewhere.

By directing your time and thoughts toward what really counts, you will have a lot more harmony and peace. And, although the process takes time and patience, especially with yourself,, walking your unique path to peace adds richness and deep joy to your life.


People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. Thich Nhat Hanh



If you have enjoyed this post, join me on on Tuesdays…


Photo Credit: davebloggs007 via Compfight cc

Would you like to receive Doc's writings in your inbox?

8 Tips on How to Demonstrate Self-Love



There is a post that appears on Facebook periodically that poses the question, “If you were asked to name all the things you love, how long would it take to get to yourself?” Ouch!

You are probably too hard on yourself. Most of us are too hard on ourselves way too often. But, it turns out that it is much easier to make our way through the world if we love ourselves. Perhaps the greatest struggle we all face is the struggle to accept and love ourselves in spite of all our many flaws. This is not something that is likely to change without a little work, though, because many of us seem to have been programmed to ridicule ourselves.

Love yourself more each day with these strategies:

1. Give yourself an earnest compliment each day.

Have you ever felt like you needed a compliment? Go ahead and give yourself one! Think about all of your fantastic qualities and congratulate yourself on one of them. There is no reason to wait for someone else to get around to saying something nice about you. Give yourself a nice compliment right now.

2. Make a written list of your accomplishments. You have accomplished plenty of great things. Make a list of all of them. Be creative and give this exercise some serious thought. You will find that your life has been more impressive than you realize.

Well…did you make the list?

3. Eat in a healthier manner.

I am not saying go overboard and try to change all your eating habits in a single day. Promise to take better care of yourself by making some changes to your diet. We could all use a little improvement in this department. You know which foods are healthy. Add a few of them to your diet and drop a few of the ones that are less than healthy.

Show yourself that you are important. You probably would not purposely feed junk food to your child or yto your beloved pet. Give yourself the same level of importance.

4. Support a cause you believe in.

Spending time on something you think is important is a great way to show yourself that you are a good person. You will feel better about yourself and put a smile on your face, as well as someone else’s.

It does not have to be an expensive out of the country trip. There are many places to volunteer right at home. Almost every city has at least one mission house or food pantry. Step your game up. Go help serve food. Go sit and talk with a few lonely people. Grab a couple of your friends and do it together. These are just a few small examples.

Help someone else because you can!

5. Be grateful.

Appreciating what you have makes it a lot easier to love yourself. No one enjoys being around a person who complains all the time. Think about your life and make a list of the things and the people who fill you with gratitude. It is surprising to discover how much of a great life you already have.

6. Forgive your past self.

Sure, you have made some mistakes and probably done and said a few awful things along the way. We all have, and we all will. But that period of your life is over now. Why drag the past into the present? You can make a fresh start every single day.

Let it go!

7. Make one small improvement.

As great as we think we are, we can be even better. Make one small change that will enhance your life in some way. Perhaps it is exercising for few minutes each week or calling your mom once a week. Show yourself that you can grow, and mature, and become a better version of yourself. Try these simple ideas:

  • Pay all of your bills on time.
  • Be more patient with your family.
  • Be on time for work each day.
  • Do five pushups each morning.

8. Do one thing each day makes you happy.

If you do not start, when? There really is no time like the present to begin enjoying your life. Start taking those guitar lessons, finally get a dog/ cat/ bird/ fish, or volunteer at the local food bank. Start loving the life you are living and loving yourself.

9. Avoid people who consistently drag you down.

Odds are that at least one of your relationships is poisoning your life. It may be a friendship, close colleague at work, romantic relationship, or even a relationship with a family member. Value yourself enough to avoid negative people and relationships as often as you can. You can be cordial and polite. But, you don’t have to sit beside them or join them on a drama run or the crazy train.


You have many wonderful qualities that

you have been overlooking.

Believe that you deserve love from yourself

and from the people in your life.

A little self-love will enhance

every part of your life.




Photo Credit: ash eliza smith via Compfight cc

Would you like to receive Doc's writings in your inbox?