New Year’s Resolutions
I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, and I haven’t for a very, very long time. But this year, I thought I’d try “3 words.”
The 3 words are designed to frame the year and help me remember a few of the things I’d like to work on changing over the course of the next 12 months. And, at some future post, I will share the others.
It is funny how things that people say to you years before return to your mind unbidden and take up residence until you can find a new “home”for them. My mother was “old” when I came along, so many of the phrases and colloquialisms that I take for granted probably date back to slavery. My mother’s grandfather was a freed slave, and my grandmother lived with us until her death. But I digress…
Underwear and Friendship
One of her phrases was that, “You done tore your drawers now.” And the best that my young mind could sort out, it meant that “you have totally screwed up now…and you probably can’t recover.” I was never certain how misaligned, neglected or disabused undergarments were involved, but…
One of my three words for this year is “boundaries.”This involves my learning what my true boundaries are, and learning to respect them myself, while expecting others to offer the same respect. Decide which things are negotiable and which are not. All of this searching is an attempt to understand myself more fully and continue to become better person.
We all have friends of different “levels” or “caliber”. They can be divided into their groups by their integrity, closeness, value, common interests, new hobbies, etc. All of our friends do not function in the same ways in all aspects of our lives.
Earlier this year I was in a situation that, as it unfolded, it became increasingly clear that my life, time, priorities, duties, responsibilities, etc. had very little value in this particular relationship. The other person perceived that their needs and wants completely superseded mine. We got through it all, but barely.
And it feels like we may not be able to go back. “The drawers have been torn!”
Forgiveness and Moving Forward
We must forgive or we build our own prison of bitterness and freeze our own hearts.
The forgiveness for this issue has been set and is in place.
But, the boundary has been shattered… at least for the moment.
The trust has been trampled underfoot…at least for the moment.
The love has been lost…at least for the moment.
Yes, it does hurt when we have to push our friends back beyond that imaginary fence-line that protects our hearts, minds and spirits.
We practice daily to reach that state that we can forgive all, as Christ has tried to teach us.
We forgive so that we can move forward with the capacity to love and be open again.
Look at stuff going on in your own life, and with your friends.
Talk to me…
What do you think?
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