Self improvement 101, and a little tough love

There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving,

and that’s your own self.

How do you manage to stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment? Everything and everyone around can have some effect on your esteem at different times and in different ways. At any given moment, something or someone may be working to puncture your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember.

The key: Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you.

So what are some of the land-mines that you need to watch out for?

#1 : The negative work environment. Beware of the “dog eat dog” mentality where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead of the next guy. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. Their speech goes something like this, “No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. No one cares about you.”

Stay out of this kind of competitive spirit, or it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is everywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but be sure that you are in a healthy competition.

#2: Other people’s behavior. Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossip-mongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, the walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluff-ers… all these kinds of people threaten your self-esteem with bad vibes, as well as to your desire to travel the road to self-improvement.

Feeling bad vibes whenever a particular person comes around? Make every effort to stay out of their path.

#3: The ever-changing environment. As Kermit the Frog would say, “It’s not easy being green.” You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge your paradigms. It tests your flexibility, adaptability and alters the way you think about things. Changes will make life difficult for awhile. Changes may cause stress.

But, the up-side is that change can also help us find ways to make improvements in ourselves. Change will be around forever. You serve yourself best by finding constructive ways to deal with it, and if possible, use it to your benefit.

#4: The past. It is really okay to cry and say “ouch!” when you experience pain. You are human.

But, you cannot let your pain transform itself into fear. If you do, it will run and manage you, rather than the other way round. Treat each setback, failure or mistake as an opportunity to learn a lesson.

#5: Negative world-view. Start looking at your world through a crystal clear lens. If everything is looking negative, then it is time for you to have a reality-check. Do not let yourself get wrapped up with all the negativities of the world.

In building up your self esteem, you must learn how to make the best of the worst of situations. You have before, and you will again. You know this!

#6: Determination theory. The way you are and your how you behave are a mixed end product of your inherited traits, your genetics, your upbringing, and your environmental surroundings, such as your significant other, the company you work for, the economy, and even your circle of friends.

But you, my friend, have your own identity. If, for instance, your father is a failure, that does not mean that you are destined to be a failure as well. Learn from other people’s experience, so that you will not have to make the exact same mistake, or fall in the exact same hole they did.

A little tough love

Ok. We talk about leadership and self-esteem almost every day. There are still people who often will ask if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. The short answer is, “No!” Being positive, and staying positive is a choice that you need to make every single day; sometimes, moment to moment. Choosing to build up your self esteem and defining a path for your own self improvement is a choice. It is not a rule or a talent.

In life, it is hard to stay tough, especially when things and people around you seem to be intent on pulling you down. When you get to your battle-zone, you must choose the right gear to bring and the correct armor to wear. Pick something bullet-proof.

Life gives you an array of options. While doing battle, you will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof armor ideally means ‘self change’. The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily!

There are three things in your life that you can choose to change: your attitude, your behavior and your way of thinking.

Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if you start becoming responsible for who you are, what you have and what you do. Its like a flame that will build and gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When you develop self esteem, you take control of your mission, values and discipline.

Self esteem brings about self improvement, self-examination, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem?

Be positive.

Be contented and happy.

Be appreciative.

Never miss an opportunity to compliment.

A positive way of living will help you build your own self esteem, and that is your starter guide to self improvement.

Thoughts?

Photo Credit: HAURY! via Compfight cc