We live in a society of victimization,
where people are much more comfortable being victimized
than actually standing up for themselves.
If only…
We’ve all been in those meetings or situations where we have a pretty good idea what must be done, but we just can’t do it. We know it is the appropriate thing to do, but we just cannot act. We are stuck. We churn and mull the circumstances over and over in our minds, but still we don’t really ever do anything about it. You wait…wait for life to come along and work it out for you. Then you accept the outcome. There are times when this approach might be okay, sometimes even the best choice; but most of the time we just cannot summon up the courage to make a decision.
That’s what it boils down to for us, you know…courage. Well, I know that’s the case for me anyway. I have taken to examining myself at such times when I find it difficult to decide what best to do. My discovery is that, even when it is abundantly clear that one action is for the greater good, fear stops me in my tracks from acting of my own free will. I look at the “possible” consequences and I can’t bear to move forward.
What about the other action? Well, the fallout of that might also be unbearable, so I don’t take that action either. I can’t stay where I am. I must do one of the other. Repeatedly I return back to the same fork in the road, and I don’t act on either one, hoping that the next time it comes up there would be more clarity. Sadly, clarity is elusive, or hardly comes. Eventually, when I do act, a lot more damage has been done than was necessary…damage that could have been avoided if only we had the courage to act sooner. If only…
Well, more damage isn’t always done, one could argue. It’s true. Still, at the very least, you give away your control of the situation by becoming a victim. Surely not, you say. What if we rush into a decision that we later come to regret? Wouldn’t it be better to consider things fully before you do something stupid? Once again, that’s correct. However, for most of us, the consideration goes on for way longer than it should. It’s often that we don’t want to do what is necessary. It’s painful to admit, and often painful to move forward.
Action required
Making decisions is a key activity in taking back control of our own lives. It is a skill in itself. Some people seem to have the ability to do it better than others. For these people, it seems to be an innate ability. For others of us, well… it requires development. We have to practice. We have to get in the fray and flex those “decision-making” muscles. We can’t afford to wait around forever, for things to happen or to change. We have to confront our fear…our fear of failure and our fear of missed opportunities.
Acceptance as an Action
In order to develop the ability to act when the situation demands it, it’s funny that often our best ally is a more “passive” resource. It’s called, acceptance. When we can learn to accept life, then we are able to do more without feeling paralyzed by fear. Think about it. We cannot control everything. This is a fact. We cannot see into the future (unless you are psychic or something, in which case skip this); another fact. We will make mistakes in life; but we can and do recover and move on. Accept all of this and you’re well on your way to being able to make tough decisions. Acceptance is not so difficult. We do it all the time.
Let me give you an example. Most of you drive. Well, if you do, you have to take it for granted that the driver coming from the opposite direction is not a lunatic who is going to run into you. If you’ve ever crossed the street at a traffic light, or gotten in a car with someone else driving, then you’re already doing a lot of accepting. How do you do it? Well, you don’t usually have much of a choice. You have to get to where you’re going. You wouldn’t get there if you refuse to get in a car because you are afraid you might crash. It’s a risk that we often take, convinced that there is no alternative.
Moving forward
Well now, how about applying that acceptance to some of your other decisions? There are no guarantees in life. You might have made a mistake, but at least you had the courage to choose. And who is to say you wouldn’t have gotten struck by lightning if you had taken the other path. You just can’t ever know for certain that it would have been better if you hadn’t acted as you did. Accept this as well. It will give you confidence. Trust me! And with confidence, you are already half-way to your destination.
So step up! Choose. Don’t be a victim of circumstance. We are more powerful than we give ourselves credit for. We can do so much more knowing that you are responsible for the choices we have made that have delivered us to where we are in life.
Thoughts?
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photo creadit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/gauri_lama/3425267349/sizes/z/in/photostream/
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