We often speak and preach about the need to forgive others. Through this act of forgiveness we free ourselves of the burden of carrying extra weight around, and we release them to go on with their lives. We are cautioned and chastened to pray for those who hurt us. And, while we cannot know for sure that this will change them, it does change us. But we’re not talking about prayer now, we are talking about forgiving the person we tend to be hardest on…ourselves.
Text: John 21:1-19 (just click on the link for the text)
Today’s scripture directs our attention to a person who Jesus had called to be a fisher of people, Peter. He got off track lots of times–he was always blurting out things without thinking. He frequently took hasty actions he regretted later. But, the worst thing he did was that he denied Christ; not once, but three times. He had promised Christ that he would never do such a horrible and dishonorable thing, but he did. He blew it big time. Afterward, he was certain that he was disqualified from ever doing the Lord’s work again.
At the beginning of this chapter Peter says, “I’m going fishing.” He was really saying, “What is there left for me but to go back to my old job. I’ve got to do something. I have totally failed the Lord. I feel guilty about it, but I can’t forgive myself.” He wanders off with the weight of guilt hanging heavily on his shoulders, believing that his only option is to back to his old job. He struggles with where to go from here? What do I do now? I blame myself over and over for what I did. I can’t do anything about it. He has probably replayed the tape over and over from the time he denied Christ, but it didn’t do any good. He could not forgive himself and was certain that the Lord could either. It all just seemed too impossible.
Illustration: A man is trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming around the corner and heads straight for him. The man walks faster, trying to hurry across the street, but the car changes lanes and is still coming toward him. So he turns around to go back, but the car changes lanes again and is still coming at him. By now, the car is so close and the man so frightened that he just freezes and stops in the middle of the road. The car gets really close, and then swerves at the last possible moment and screeches to a halt right next him. The driver rolls down the window, and it’s a squirrel. The squirrel says to the man, “See, it’s not as easy as it looks, is it?”
This is a metaphor for when we are trying to forgive ourselves for something? Often in our lives, there are particular incidents that we look back at, and we want to punish ourselves over and over, just like Peter did. It seems impossible to overcome. What can this scripture say to us that will help us finally get past the things that are keeping us chained to and in the past?
[ more tomorrow…]