Negativity can only feed on negativity.
There will be many times in life when you must go through challenging experiences. You may find yourself wondering how you ended up in a certain place, either physically or emotionally. At these times confronting your own choices can feel very challenging. It may be easier to figure out where others were wrong or at fault.
Blaming others for the way your life is going is a common reaction to life’s curve balls. After all, when you point the finger at others, you can be initially soothed by the idea that you haven’t made any mistakes in a particular situation.
But eventually, you’re left with just yourself and blaming others simply takes away your sense of your own power. You can not change other peoples actions-only your own. So you must ultimately figure out how to pick yourself up and go on with your life. The best way to do this is to stop blaming others and resolve the situation within yourself. Consider these ideas to stop blaming others and regain your own personal power:
1. Step up. Take complete responsibility for your own life. Whether you’re married, single, have kids or are childless, acknowledge that only you decide how your life is going to manifest. It’s all about you.
Perhaps there were someone else at fault in the past Maybe things didn’t go well with your mother, father, boss, or partner, but now that you know what the real issues are, it is your responsibility to fix them. This will sound harsh, but your life is the way it is because of you. Take ownership of it!
From here on consider it a cop-out when you blame someone else for the choices you have made.
Admittedly, this has a both good and bad side at the same time. After all, if you want your life to change and you believe you’re responsible for it, this means that you alone hold all the power you need to make your life just the way you want it to be. This also means that you have no one else to blame but yourself.
2. Learn from your past. Consider a couple of specific incidents when you blamed another person for your choices. How did those situations turn out for you in the end? Did you lose a friend? Is a family member estranged from you? It is very rare that anything positive comes from blaming another person for your own situation.
3. Apologize. Say you’re sorry. If you have told another person that something that happened in your life is their fault, apologize for the comments as soon as you become aware that you have made them. This step is important because one of the major ways to cease blaming others is to acknowledge the problem and say you’re sorry when you pointed the finger at them.
In order to change what you are doing, you must recognize and own your mistakes.
4. Think first! Think before you blame. If you catch yourself blaming someone else for a situation in your life, really think about that situation thoroughly before saying anything aloud. Ask yourself what really happened? Who did what? What was your part in this? How did you react? What were your options? How can you respond differently in the future to change the outcome?
Give yourself plenty of time to process a situation. This way, you won’t be compelled to say something rash out of frustration.
5. Get help. Seek professional guidance. There’s no shame in asking for help, if you can’t seem to shake the blame game. If you find yourself caught in a vicious, unproductive cycle of pointing the fingers at others for your own life situations, get some counseling to help you find your way out.
When you leave the blame game behind, your life becomes totally your own. All the power you need is in your hands. The sky really is the limit when you stop blaming others and empower yourself to take your life back!
Thoughts?
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