It’s not only children who grow. Parents do too.
As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives,
they are watching us to see what we do with ours.
I can’t tell my children to reach for the sun.
All I can do is reach for it, myself.
One of the greatest responsibilities you have as a parent is to ensure your children feel loved, safe, secure and happy.
While every parent knows that their children do not always listen to them, many fail to take into account that they are always watching. You can use this fact to help increase your child’s sense of happiness by remembering that what you do is often more important than what you say.
Kids are especially sensitive to noticing when a parent chooses another person or activity over them. As they grow and learn about the world around them, children naturally assign meaning and value to what they see. When you are too busy for them, they can easily begin to feel that they’re not worthy of being one of your priorities.
Apply these ideas in your household to help your child feel secure, loved, and happy:
1. Emote. Let them know you’re genuinely excited to see them. When you see them for the first time in the morning and after school, ensure they know just how happy you are to see them. Use their name (everybody likes that) and show genuine pleasure. Think about how happy you would be if the person you love the most did the same for you.
2. Demonstrate your priorities. Make sure they know that your work is less important than they are. Most kids are constantly being put off because of work or some other task. Avoid scheduling your kids around your tasks. If at all possible, take care of them first and schedule work around them. This technique shows them how important they are.
3. Teach. Teach your children about the world at home. Don’t assume that everything they need to learn is being sufficiently or properly taught outside of your the home. When it comes to school, just like every other profession, some teachers simply aren’t very good. Help your child with their schoolwork.
Many of the most important things children learn have nothing to do with academics. That’s your responsibility. If you don’t do it, who else will? Their friends who “know” everything? TV and movie role models who can’t keep their own lives sorted out? Sports legends?
Don’t know what to talk with them about? Consider all the things you wish you had known when you were a young adult heading out into the world. Those things would be a great start.
4. Be a role model. Model good behavior. Children assume that the appropriate way to handle a situation is the same way their parents handle it. Are you behaving like a strong, patient, persistent person? How successful and happy will your children be if they handle challenges the same way that you do? Remember, they’re always watching and copying.
5. Rules. Every home needs rules. Let the kids make a few of the rules around the house. People naturally resist and rebel when they feel like they don’t have any control. It can be something small. Perhaps they can choose which days to clean their room each week. Or they can choose what’s for dinner (from choices that you give them). Simple things like this really help.
6. Remove some of the junk from your diet. Limit the amount of media / technology exposure. It’s easy to let the TV entertain your children when your are busy, tired or frustrated. But most parents instinctively know that their kids watch too much TV. As kids get older, cell phones, the Internet, and iPods become the issue. Technology is hypnotic, but it doesn’t make people happy.
Many studies have shown that people that use technology the most tend to suffer from loneliness at a greater rate than those that use it less.
Have fun with your kids. Teach them everything you think they need to know and be a good example. Ensure they feel special and loved. Simply doing your very best is a great place to start.
Thoughts?
photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/37176081@N02/4880034417/sizes/z/in/photostream/
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