Martina McGowan MD – Page 13 – life lived by the Book

No kindness is wasted…

Aesop

Most of you have heard the phrase in today’s picture-post, and it is true. No act of kindness ever goes to waste. It may not be received or even used in the way we had intended or hoped. But our responsibility is on the giving end of things. You know, the end that gives freely, without expectation. Because if you give with expectation, whether it is to your sibling, your fellow human being, your synagogue, your club, whatever, then that’s some kind of contractual interaction, and often has little to do with kindness. You are giving in these situations fully expecting to get something back. But that’s not actually what I wanted to talk about…

I just got back from a few days of much needed, and overdue, rest, fun, laughter and downtime. It seems to me that in all of our rushing about, multitasking, doing good for others, leading the way forward, authentic listening, and being there, we tend to take very little time for and care of ourselves. We don’t spend enough time turned off, or in the current vernacular, unplugged. We are always on. Always doing, and planning, and stretching (or being stretched), and fixing and striving.

Please, remember to be kind to yourself in the midst of everything else that you have on your plate. All of the things that I have listed above are certainly worthwhile and noble tasks, but you must replenish yourself. Whatever or wherever your well is, you must return to it to be re-filled. Over and over again.

As you stretch yourself to do more, keep in mind that you cannot properly share, be it leadership or love… you cannot truly and properly continue to share what you do not possess.

Be kind to you. It will not be wasted…

~ martina

Being present via meditation

be present

Life can be found only in the present moment.

The past is gone, the future is not yet here,

and if we do not go back to ourselves

in the present moment,

we cannot be in touch with life.

Thich Nhat Hanh

You may have been told a time or two that you need to spend more time in the “present moment,” but you don’t really know what that means. Present moment thinking has been one of the central tenets of eastern religions for thousands of years.

Many Westerners are tempted to just push aside any thoughts related to Eastern philosophies because they think it may be a threat to their core religious beliefs. There are no religious impositions involved here. The present moment is available to everyone, in every single moment of every single day, no matter who you are, or where you are. In fact, most religions, in some manner, agree with the premise that we should be living in this moment, and not in the past or future.

What is “the present moment”?

The present moment can be defined as having all of your attention being solely on what you are doing right now. It is when you are not thinking about “other things.” For instance, if you are washing the dishes, your mind is fully focused, and you are aware when you start the faucet, grip the sponge, and wipe the plates clean. There are no other thoughts in your mind other than what it is you are doing in the moment.

While staying in the present moment may seem boring at times, you have probably already felt its power without really knowing it. Have you ever been outside enjoying nature and had a feeling of peace flood over you? Have you ever stared up at the sky and stars and contemplated the meaning behind “it all?” The past and future evaporate for a just little while, and the only thing that is important in that moment is the “now.”

Staying in the Present Moment

The process of staying in the present moment may take some practice. If you try for any length of time to stay fully present, your mind will likely try to pull you out of it or away from it. This is because thoughts about the past and future are constantly creeping in. This can be a source of frustration, but you must resist the urge to judge yourself since that negative emotion defeats the whole purpose of the exercise.

Be aware that your mind will reach out for the past and future. But be prepared to let go of those thoughts when they come to you. The more you practice remaining present, the easier it will become for you.

Practicing Meditation

Meditation is an art that is not only reserved for Eastern religions. It is a method of bringing yourself into the present that is available to you at all times.

Here are some quick tips to follow when beginning meditation:

Choose a time of day when you can relax and be alone.
Sit in a position that gives you good posture.
Concentrate on your breathing.
Take deep breaths in and out and focus only on your breath.
Try to meditate for at least 30 minutes each day. You will need to work your way up to this. Start with 5 minute blocks and add on as you get better at it.
Resist the urge to fall asleep.

You will find that you get better at meditation with practice. Don’t give up on yourself! Every session may not feel as good as the last, but it is important to stick with it.

Meditation will help you get to know yourself, your mind and your body better. You will be able to maintain awareness for when your mind is in an agitated state, and you will also be able to place greater and better focus on fixing your issues and moving toward your desired goals.

Simply stated, developing a present moment mindset can bring you more peace and fulfillment in your life. Isn’t that worth a little practice?

Thoughts?

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3 Steps to easy and effective goal-setting

goal line 1345878415_7d7d17c409

The more intensely we feel about an idea or a goal,

the more assuredly the idea,

buried deep in our subconscious,

will direct us along the path to its fulfillment.

Earl Nightingale

Many people falsely believe and accept that the goals they have set for themselves are far out of reach. Other people seem to think that they are just not very good at setting goals and sticking to them, so they don’t even bother trying. The real problem is usually that the goals are unclear or unrealistic.

The truth of the matter is that no matter where you are in life you can use your current place as a starting point for greater success. But, you will have to learn to set clear, concise, and actionable goals that push you forward and build momentum.

Easy goal-setting

Keep revisiting

The first thing you need to remember is that you will be constantly setting new goals for yourself throughout the course your life. Many people become discouraged because they feel that every time they reach one goal, they find that they still have even more work in front of them. Unless you plan to reach a goal and stand still in that spot for the rest of your life, it is a good thing to always be looking to the horizon and revisiting your goals! Doing this means that you will continue to move forward, become a better person, accomplish greater things, and meet with more successes as you define them.

Achievable steps

When sitting down to set your goals, you should think about where you will be and what you will be doing in a month, six months, a year, five years, and ten years. A problem that many people have is that they set huge goals for five or ten years from now. And, although it is great to have lofty goals, if the goal is too ambitious, or the leap seems too great, you may feel easily intimidated or discouraged by it. For this reason, you need to set smaller goals all along the way so that you can continue to motivate yourself and continue to build up forward momentum.

Short-term goals are just as important as long-term goals, and this is one of the most important things that you should keep in mind when setting goals. Create some smaller goals for yourself every few months so that when you reach them. You will feel a sense of accomplishment and be stoked about reaching the next goal. These shorter-term goals are like stepping stones. They will keep you excited about the future, keep you focused on the end-game, and push you forward in your moments of doubt or frustration.

Use positive affirmations

You can also use the power of affirmations to help you create the positive mindset you need to get things done faster. Affirmations will help you maintain a positive attitude while you work hard to reach each of your goals. Affirmations, in case you don’t know, are short, concise, positive statements that you can repeat to yourself as often as needed to help you reprogram your mind, while focusing on the positive in your life.

As you develop your affirmations, you may want to think about where you want your goals to take you. Where do you want to end up? Examples of goal-setting affirmations can be as simple as, “I am focused on my goals and dreams,” or, “I have well-structured goals and stick to my deadlines.” I know these may seem rather simple and simplistic, but this way of thinking will help you set and reach the important milestones in your life, while making you more resilient to any obstacles along way.

At a loss for affirmations? Join us here every Saturday and Sunday for a weekly boost!

Goal-setting is easy. But easy and effective are not the same thing. Your goal-setting can only effective if you make your goals crystal clear. Know where you want to go. Make actionable steps to get there. Keep yourself primed with a positive mindset. Go forth and conquer!

What is one thing you want to get done before the year in over? Share in the comment section below….

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4 Tips for growing some backbone

grow a backbone

A lot of people are afraid to tell the truth, to say no.

That’s where toughness comes into play.

Toughness is not being a bully.

It’s having backbone.

Robert Kiyosaki

Do you feel as if everyone is taking advantage of your good nature? Do you think they would still do it if you were a little more assertive? Becoming more assertive is a goal that many people want to achieve. They feel disrespected and want to be able to stand their ground without feelings of guilt or fear. Developing a backbone is not a simple or an easy task, but it can be accomplished if you remain committed to it. How to strengthen your assertiveness:

1. Stop apologizing for everything. Most people use the term “I’m sorry” far too much and often at inappropriate times. Give some serious thought to when you use those two simple words. Is it in a situation that you truly should be sorry for?

Once you are able to stop apologizing for every little thing, you will become more assertive. Learn to differentiate between when there truly is a need to apologize and when there is not.

2. Learn to speak up. Tell the people around you what you need. Assertiveness requires good communication skills. Be clear and firm about what you desire. Practice standing up for yourself by conveying your wants and desires to others.

Don’t go overboard, either. There is no need to be overly aggressive or nasty. Simply communicate that you have thoughts, feelings, opinions and needs, also. Once you begin to express these better, the people around you will learn how to appreciate and respect you more, too.

Voice your opinions and be proud of what you have to say. People will take notice and begin to listen more.

3. Stay committed and be patient. It is really great that you have decided to make some positive changes in your life. This is something that you should be proud of! Unfortunately though, like most other things in life, a complete transformation will not happen overnight. You have only begin your journey, and you must be willing to stick with it!

You will undoubtedly experience good and bad days, but you must not give up. As long as you remain committed to the process and patient with your transformation, you will succeed in what you are trying to accomplish.

Remember to focus on the big picture. Imagine your life further down the road and how much your life will improve once you are able to stand up for yourself.

4. Master your body language. Body language is extremely important. When you are trying to become more assertive, your body language must reflect this as well. What does that mean?

It means you stand up straight, speak up, make sure that your hands aren’t crossed over your chest. It means you maintain eye contact with the person you are speaking with.

If you look confident and assertive, people will perceive you as such. If you keep your head down, your eyes on the floor, have your hands across your chest, or mumble incoherently, you will have trouble convincing anyone of anything, and you will have a hard time trying to get your point across.

Being just a little more assertive can help you in your personal life, career, family, and many other areas. It won’t happen overnight. It takes work and practice. But as long as you make positive steps to grow your new backbone, it will be there before you know it!

Thoughts?

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Guest Post: Adding Tree Time to Your Customer’s Experience, by @ChipRBell

The kennel where we board our cat has tree time. For an extra couple of dollars a day, a boarded cat gets the run of the room alone for an hour. In the middle of the cat section surrounded by individual cat cages is a giant climbing tree wrapped in carpet with lots of tunnels and dangling toys. It is a cat’s playground, similar to the indoor play areas at many fast-food restaurants. We have peered through the glass from the kennel lobby as our cat got her tree time. There was never a moment’s hesitation. As soon as her cage door was opened, she rushed to the tree and began to play like a kid at recess.

What are ways you can provide your customers a version of free tree time? Like a half-time show in the middle of a game, customers love a break from the tedium, monotony, or just plain old normal service experience. What if there was a sheet of cartoons in the middle of a stack of required paperwork? What if you scheduled a special, unexpected visitor? Watch the faces of patients in a hospital when the person with a service dog pays them a visit?

Miller Brothers men’s clothing store in the Buckhead section of Atlanta has a giant colorful gumball machine on the entrance foyer table. Beside the machine is a dish of bright shiny pennies. Guess where Junior goes while daddy is trying on trousers? But, there is more. Miller Brothers did not simply provide comfortable seating; they provided cushy, melt-into-the-cushions comfortable seating with a wide screen TV on ESPN. The free beer is not just cold; it is super ice cold, like it was pulled right out of a barrel of ice cubes. And there is a bar stocked with premium brands.

“We wanted our store to be a great place to hang out and have a beer with the boys but also be the best store in Atlanta. The goal was a place that was sophisticated but fun,” Robby Miller remarked. “We care about customer comfort just as much as we care about the cut of a jacket or the superior quality of a dress shirt,” adds Greg Miller. Miller Brothers created a store with tree time in the middle! How can you implant a moment of merriment or whimsy in the middle of your customer’s experience?

Chip Bell

About Chip Bell: Chip R. Bell is a highly sought after keynote speaker and the author of several best-selling books.

His newest book is The 9 1/2 Principles of Innovative Service.

The 9 1/2 Principles is available on Simple Truths. You can connect with Chip through his website or via Twitter (@ChipRBell) or Facebook (facebook/ChipRBell).

Bored, burned or something else?

new job

If you do not feel yourself growing in your work and

your life broadening and deepening,

if your task is not a perpetual tonic to you,

you have not found your place.

Orison Swett Marden

Bored, burned or is it something else?

The career path you choose is one of the most important decisions you make in life. After all, most of your waking hours each year are spent at work! Are you feeling a bit bored or burned out at work? Does it seem like the clock on the wall is barely moving, and you can’t wait to escape at the end of your work day? If you are struggling to find contentment and happiness in your current line of work, you may be experiencing a temporary slip in your motivation that will quickly fade away. Or it may be a signal that it is time, perhaps well past time, for you to think about making a change. Your career choice has to consist of more than being able to pay your bills and putting food on your table. You deserve to spend your days doing the work that you enjoy and your career should line up with your values and goals. You owe it to yourself to search within yourself to find the courage to change your career direction!

Take your time

A career change is an opportunity to think carefully about your values and determine what is most important to you. This takes some time; it is not a snap decision. Be patient with yourself, and give yourself permission to take the time you need to determine what is most important to you in terms of your career.

Ask a lot of questions

First, ask yourself some questions to explore your values and find out what really matters to you. Why did you choose your current career in the first place? What did you like about your present line of work? Have any of those elements of your job disappeared because of changes that have taken place? Or have you simply forgotten what drew you into this field in the first place?

What do you wish you were doing instead? Is there a job within your current company that you feel can make better use of your talents? Is it a more interesting position? Seek advice from your employer on opportunities that exist within your company to get a jump on learning new skills or finding ways to transfer to a more interesting position.

Baby steps

Take baby steps toward the life you crave. While at first blush it might seem like the right thing to do by running away from your current career with all due haste, a hurried (or reckless) approach can backfire. If you make and take the time to think through your decisions and make the best informed decision possible, you will experience greater joy and fulfillment in the long haul.

Chase your big dreams by breaking them down into small, do-able action steps. Seek out the advice of others who are already successful in the field you’re looking into. Structure your goals in a way that will allow you to get regular feedback on your progress, so that you will know when you are on-track and when you are beginning to veer off-course.

Respect your current employer

Whether you are an employed-preneur, running a business on the side, switching companies, or even moving up within the same organization, when it is time to leave, do so with grace. As you move closer and closer to the career change you seek, always be conscious of continuing to perform your current job to the best of your ability. There are at least two reasons why this is important. First, you may need a reference from your current employer. And, second, an attitude of service will increase your own self-confidence as you prepare for a dramatic change in your life.

Believe in you!!

Trust your instincts and your ability to succeed. You can achieve any goal that you set out to accomplish. With proper planning and a hunger to succeed, you will achieve the career success you crave. Keep your dreams in front of you, believe you can achieve them, and begin today to take the first steps toward the career you are destined to enjoy.

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Musings + Affirmations: Conviction is my friend; indifference, my foe.

When the pressure comes, preferences give way

while convictions hold firm.

Edwin Louis Cole

Affirmation: Conviction is my friend. Indifference is my foe.

My beliefs are part of what makes me who I am. My resolve is not swayed by wavering thoughts because my impassioned conviction makes me strong.

I am a confident person!

Deep within me, I know what is right for me. I pay close attention to those feelings because they help guide me on my own personal path. Doubt cannot shake me because of my internal knowledge of what is right and true. When I feel unbalanced in my beliefs and doubt begin to creep into my mind, I dig deeper through prayer, meditation, reading and self-reflection, and I can find truth.

My convictions may not always be the same, but that is because I am fully open to growth. They will grow as I do. When I listen to the voice of reason within me, I can feel confident about where I am in my life.

I can remain strong in my resolve, and still choose to not be closed to new thoughts or possibilities. Remaining open gives me the opportunity to be strengthened as a human. I will always work to remain open-minded. However, I know, by the gift of discernment, what is right for me and I will live accordingly. I will embrace what is right for me and I will not waste time or energy dwelling on what is not.

Today, I choose to go deep within myself to seek truth, especially when I feel uncertainty, doubt, or indifference.

Indifference is not a part of me because I am strong and I am confident and my conviction makes me who I am.

Homework/ Self-Reflective Questions/ Journal Prompts:

1. How have my beliefs been different from those around me?

2. How has my conviction made me stronger?

3. Have I been listening to that voice of truth within me?

Thoughts?

Have an awesome week!!

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Choose your attitude…

Selye

Stress is an unfortunate byproduct of our busy and hectic lives. Too much to do, too many places to be, too many promises to keep before I sleep. But, every time we feel stressed by someone or some thing we always have choices before us. Often in the heat of the moment, we cannot see the choices clearly. We feel like the oxygen is being sucked out of the room, there is too much noise, and there is no hope for us, because we are stuck. Except, we aren’t…

First, always look for and learn the lesson involved in a situation. Always!

If it is a person using up all your air and time, and you don’t feel good about being with or around that person, stop. Profound thinking, I know! Stop spending time with them. Go do something YOU enjoy. Yes, this is tough at first, but it gets easier as you find yourself again. And once you find yourself again, you will not give it up so easily the next time.

Maybe it is a situation. Once again, stop doing it. Maybe you don’t want to hang with the crew any more every Friday night because its hurting your budget. Maybe its your club or church, and your just not feeling it any more.

Go.Do.Something.Else.

Yes, its a little tougher if it is a job you no longer enjoy, or perhaps, never enjoyed. Go get another job if you can. But, I live in the real world just like you, and you cannot always just quit your job as much as you might daydream about that. If you cannot leave, make peace with it, fix what you can at work, learn to let go of the rest of the crap, get your job done, and do stuff you love and care about when you are away from work.

Lastly, and you guys have read it here often, you can choose your attitude. You can choose to get all bottled up and discombobulated, or you can choose not to. You can say no, you can walk away to cool off, you can walk away for good. You can choose to be at peace within yourself no matter the chaos and storms which surround you in this moment.

Your peace, just like your joy, are your possessions. Use them!

~martina

Finding peace in chaos

peace within chaos

In the midst of the flurry – clarity.

In the midst of the storm – calm.

In the midst of divided interests – certainty.

In the many roads – a certain choice.

Mary Anne Radmacher

Life can get to be pretty chaotic. No matter how much you accomplish, it always feels like there are several more things should be doing or something more you should be able to achieve. In these moments, you must force yourself to take a step back to find the peace. If you do not find peace within the chaos, you will sooner or later be consumed by stress and find yourself leading an unfulfilling life. While you may want to achieve as much as you can, you surely do not actually want to lose yourself or your mind in the process of getting and achieving. So, how do you get that done?

1. Downsize your schedule. If you find that you have been taking on too much, too many projects (especially those that you have no burning interest in) it is time, if not well past time to go over your schedule and drop what needs to go. It is very difficult to admit to yourself that you don’t actually have superpowers or unlimited time, so you must consciously chose to concentrate on giving yourself a manageable schedule.

2. Organized the chaos. When your life begins to feel chaotic, it is probably disorganized. You feel disjointed or disconnected. You can combat this feeling by staying organized, keeping lists, and valuing your time. And that is a problem many of us have. We place little value and low priority on our time. Well, it is time for you to flip that switch and learn to jealously guard your time. It is valuable. You can still take on a lot of things, but only if you have got an organized plan in place!

3. Take some time-outs. Whether you think you need to get away from an ongoing busy life, or one or more chaotic situations, you have to give yourself some downtime. Plan a mini vacation or give yourself an evening off and out if you are crunched for time. The point is that you need to make some time that is absolutely designated for yourself. Read a book, go for a walk outside, play some games, but do some thing that will allow you to completely unwind.

4. Pace yourself. One way to manage chaos in a healthy way is to properly pace yourself. You need to conserve your energy so that you can make it through the day, the week, the project. Doing so will allow you to keep a clear head and rejuvenate your mind.

5. Engage in a peaceful activity. One of the simplest ways to maintain some peace is to take up a peaceful and relaxing activity. Consider going to a yoga class, trying meditation or T’ai Chi. These acts are not only relaxing, but they also allow you to adapt your thinking so that you can regularly achieve a peaceful mindset.

6. Embrace your situation. A chaotic life can be overwhelming or even depressing at times. Instead of merely promising yourself a better life in the future once the chaos is gone, you can make a few changes and conscious choices and give yourself one right now. Accept that your life is really in a chaotic state, perhaps even a chaotic mess, but then go a little further. Take the big step toward finding peace.

Figure out what works for YOU!!!

Most importantly, focus on slowing down, simplifying your life, and allowing yourself the space and time to work on fixing the imbalance you may be experiencing. Even the smallest effort can help you in a huge way. If you are taking the time to find peace, you can also create your own personal definition of that peace. For you, that may mean finding someone who can help you unload your problems, or perhaps you might enjoy journaling or reading inspirational books.

Whatever is peaceful for you, do it on a regular basis!!

Do it for yourself and for those you love.

Thoughts?

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Communicate better at work

communicate

The single biggest problem with communication

is the illusion that it has taken place.

George Bernard Shaw

Good communication allows many of life’s situations to run much more smoothly. However, there are some relationships that require a little extra attention, such as the relationship you have with your boss. You and your boss have very different roles, and when each of you fulfills these roles with a hard working and understanding attitude, you will both feel more fulfilled.

Get acquainted with your boss

As in all personal and professional relationships, it is important to understand how other people communicate.

Each individual has their own set of likes and dislikes, and every one of us has a unique personality type and communication style. Once you understand their preferences, you can adjust your style and methods of communication with them to best suit their needs.

Understanding the nature of your relationship

It is important to develop a good business and working relationship with your boss. Find out what they expect and what their goals for the business are. In that way you can both get on the same page, working toward the same goal.

1. Avoid being too friendly. It important to be friendly, but only to a certain extent. You are not true friends with your boss. While it may seem like a good idea at first, this can lead to some uncomfortable situations. Your boss (as friend) may have trouble giving you appropriate negative feedback, or your co-workers may develop jealousy about the relationship.

2. Schedule meetings. Your boss may or may not schedule regular meetings with you, some of this is a matter of style. But, in spite of this, you should take the initiative to schedule time with your boss if you feel the need it. This will help demonstrate to your boss that you are serious about developing your business relationship and that you really care about your job, the company, and your future together.

3. Help, don’t hinder. Find out if you can be of assistance to your boss with any problems that need special attention. While you need to avoid stepping on any toes, your boss will likely appreciate you taking the initiative to ask least inquire. Doing so affords you an opportunity to stand out.

4. Be patient. Maybe you think you would’ve done things differently than your boss, or you strongly feel that one of their decisions won’t turn out best. You need to develop the wisdom to know when and if you should keep your mouth shut and go with the flow, or if you should politely speak up.

5. Alter your perspective. You can improve your communication with your boss and feel less frustrated just by putting yourself in their shoes sometimes. Imagine what everything is like for them. They probably are carrying a few more burdens and pressures on their shoulders than you realized.

6. Stay Ready. Even if you are not quite sure of what to say all the time, as long as you prepared and honest in your communication, your boss will surely notice. So if you have to reflect and write down your thoughts ahead of time, go with it. This level of preparation will benefit you in the long term.

As with any relationship, good communication skills are a huge benefit. Strive to work on strengthening these skills every day and it will help your career to flourish. In the end, your positive attitude and willingness to work to understand others will help you forge stronger, more enduring bonds of relationship.

Thoughts?

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