June 1 is the Global Day of Parents. This holiday honors parents all over the world for their commitment to their children.
We all want the very best for our children! We want them to grow into happy, confident, considerate, well-adjusted adults with the skills they will need to create wonderful lives for their families and themselves.
Children have never been very good at listening to their elders,
but they have never failed to imitate them.
Becoming Better Parents for our Children’s Sake
It is not easy to be a good parent. Most of us do not feel we had some of the best examples to follow, and this is not a skill taught in home ec; although, perhaps it should be discussed. We must choose to either educate ourselves or rely on OTJ training.
While there are many parenting styles, successful parents share attributes that give children the best shot at success and happiness. Most of us have a few of these traits but must work at developing others.
1. Tolerance and Forbearance.
- Children can be messy, noisy, inattentive, and downright exasperating.
- They can also be pretty amazing.
- Patience is an essential quality in parenting.
- Learning to take a step, take a deep breath (or two), and relaxing before we go charging in is beneficial to many parts of our lives; not just parenting.
2. Multi-tasking and Balancing.
- Trying to cope with everything- home, work, and children- requires a great ability to multitask.
- Children need attention and can pull our attention away from whatever else we are doing.
- It takes practice learning to regain focus quickly.
3. Supportive Environment
- Children learn early in life to doubt themselves and become concerned about the opinions of others.
- One of the best ways to combat this is to encourage your kids. With enough encouragement, our children have the best opportunity to become their best selves.
- Encouragement and support go hand-in-hand.
- Children with support grow up to be relaxed and comfortable, with themselves and with others.
- Without good support, we all know the world can be a very scary place.
4. Problem Resolution.
- One of the hallmarks of intelligence is problem-solving.
- Children can provide a unique set of challenges that have to be solved almost continually.
- A little mental focus can help us navigate the minefield that parenting can involve.
5. Elasticity and Resilience.
- Many of our parenting attempts will fail.
- We must be flexible enough to come p with multiple solutions. If one doesn’t work, we can always try something different.
- Plans often change, too. It helps if you can go with the tide.
- You might be able to boss your kids around, but they will certainly resent it, and they will never forget.
- Just like at work, it is more effective to use good leadership skills. Save throwing your considerable parental weight around only when necessary.
7. Reliability and Trustworthiness.
- Kids feel safe when they have reliable and dependable parents.
- They have to know that you will be there for them.
- How much can your kids trust your word?
8. Benevolence and Mercy.
- Children need to develop compassion. And they can only develop it by experiencing it.
- Kids need understanding and comfort. Are you good at providing those two things?
- Our children will give us plenty of opportunities to laugh.
- Don’t let those moments go to waste!
- With a great sense of humor, we can preserve our sanity.
- Children, and many adults, are not sure how to act.
- It up to us to be role models.
- Children will mimic our reactions, especially in tough situations. It is what they have learned.
- It is important that we are self-aware enough to know whether we are being good role models.
Parenting is one job that requires our utmost effort and attention.
Great kids tend to have great parents.
Being a great parent isn’t easy, but it’s easier if you build these attributes. You can develop good attributes through practice and determination.
Am I a perfect parent or grandparent? How many ways can I say, no? I make the same mistakes every other parent makes. But that doesn’t mean I don’t give my best to the task daily, willingly admit when I am wrong and vow to continue to improve.
Listen and keep learning, all day, every day!!