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Where Does Stress Come From?

stress

Stress is a normal part of everyday life. But have you ever wondered where it comes from? What is the origin of stress?

From where does our stress originate?

If you were to ask 10 people where their stress comes from, you will very likely get an array of answers like, their children, family, work, finances, etc. These are stress factors that are common to most of us. But, when you get answers like these, and try to dig around a bit to understand them, you will often find that while all of these things can contribute to our stress, they are not where the stress actually comes from. So we ask again, where does stress come from?

There are lots of different schools of thought about where stress comes from. The fact of the matter is that stress is our body’s natural response to the demands that we place upon it. The demands may be physical, mental, or emotional in nature, and when we place these demands on our body, our natural chemicals and hormones, like cortisol and neuropeptides are released into our bodies and that is when we feel stressed. Sometime the demands we place on ourselves are unrealistic and unnatural. It is small wonder that our minds and, or our bodies break down.

Stressful thinking leads to stressful feelings.

Stress can stem from within our own minds. We can often conjure up stress through our internal worries, fears, and anxieties. Sometime, we place too high a priority on everything. Everything in life is vying for our attention. And, everything suddenly becomes an emergency.

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes everything is an emergency www.MartinaMcGowan.com (1)

We can fall into the habit of negative thinking where we somehow work to convince ourselves of something being true, when it is not.

For example, have you ever convinced yourself that you are not good enough, smart enough, strong enough, or pretty enough to do something? This negative self-talk creates stress within your own mind. Unfortunately, these thoughts are often churning away while you are not consciously aware of them. We can come to accept these negative thoughts as the truth, even when we know logically that it is far from it. This is why we need to work at taming our negative thoughts and begin replacing them with positive truths.

Stress is a normal part of life so we cannot escape it altogether. What really matters is how we deal with stress. But, each of us experiences stress a little differently, so there is no one-size-fits-all, universal stress treatment.

Deal with it!

As you have now learned, stress is our bodily response to the pressures and demands that we place on ourselves in our every day lives. To limit the negative effects of stress, things like heart attacks, breathing problems, and gastrointestinal (stomach) problems, we have to learn how to actively manage our stress. There are lots of simple stress coping strategies. Here are a few to get you started:

Get more exercise
Use positive self-talk
Get more rest and more restful sleep
Eat a healthier diet
Know your work limits
Say, “No,” more often
Ask for help
Carve out time for more fun
Use positive imagery
Do deep breathing exercises- qigong, pranayama, are two examples
Listen to music that calms you
De-clutter- your life and your workspace
Keep things simple

These are all very effective ways of dealing with the stresses in life, but, we must keep in mind that our goal is to proactively manage our stress.

If we only react to stress, rather than trying to be proactive about things, we will spend a great deal of our time putting out fires, rather than enjoying our lives.

The alternative, is that we continually work at implementing healthy techniques for our stress management.

To a healthier, happier, and more productive life!

~ Doc

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Leading colorful personalities pt 2

Difficulties in your life do not come to destroy you,

but to help you realize your hidden potential and power,

let difficulties know that you too are difficult.

Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam

Leadership can be tough, especially when you inherit a team of people who may not be working at their peak performance. Yesterday we started talking about the ways in which leaders can benefit by being able to identify the types of personality characteristics of team members. By understanding the basics of personality types, the new leader can help use the individual strengths of members for the good of the whole team. A brief overview of the different values and working styles of the four main personality types demonstrates the importance of this knowledge being part of your successful leadership toolbox. And, as I cautioned yesterday, keep in mind that these are guidelines. None of us can be pigeonholed all the time. The four types of personality will be described using the colors Gold, Blue, Green and Orange.

Types

The strong Gold employee takes work and responsibility very seriously. Gold personalities want to contribute, be a part of the team, and to be successful and productive in all they do. They respond well to recognition, rewards and incentives. But, and here’s the important key for a new leader, Gold team members need well defined responsibilities, structure, firm expectations and timelines. They also require some authoritarian reassurance along the way that they are on the right track.

The strong Blue personality needs an open and more social atmosphere to be able work well. Relationships are extremely important to them. They need the freedom to be able to nurture relationships with their coworkers, customers and employers. Conflict and intense competition are painful for a strong Blue. But they will thrive in a positive, creative, service oriented atmosphere.

A strong Green personality is more noted for expertise rather than people skills. They are great when they are working with facts, data, research and analytical projects. Greens shine in their ability for designing, understanding complex systems and strategies. Facts are of utmost importance for the Green. Greens tend to be focused on the routine, and can be somewhat insensitive to and in social interactions.

Orange team members are noticeable by their high energy, skill and creativity. A key factor for an Orange is the freedom to be able to use their skills and abilities freely. If there is too much structure, or their leader is overly authoritarian, the Orange personality type will feel blocked, and cannot function well. Orange personalities like people and work well in a spirit of teamwork, competition and camaraderie. They are action orientated. They are easily bored and become impatient if the process gets bogged down with excessive and prolonged talking and burdened with lots of detailed administrative tasks.

Which of these types fits the way you work and move best?

A leader, by understanding the true colors of their team mates, can use this knowledge to blend the team members into a single, unified, well coordinated picture poised for success. By facilitating each team member to function in their areas of natural strength and motivating them by communicating in a way that inspires them individually and collectively for harmony and team work, the leader is well on the way to achieving extraordinary results.

Thoughts?

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Leading colorful personalities pt 1

crayons

Difficulties in your life do not come to destroy you,

but to help you realize your hidden potential and power,

let difficulties know that you too are difficult.

Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam

Leadership can be a very challenging task. As a leader, you don’t always get to choose who is on your team. In fact very often, leaders inherit team members, and many of those team members may have been in place far longer than the new leader. They may also know more about the specifics or intricacies of the work than the new leader. Whatever the situation, one of the responsibilities of a leader is to motivate the team to work together as a cohesive unit toward the common goal. This can be a daunting challenge.

Strengths and weaknesses

Often teams are comprised of very diverse members, each of whom have their own strengths, weaknesses, personalities and work styles. The team dynamics can also often be complicated by internal disagreements and personal conflicts. The leader, not only has work with this group of people, but also needs to achieve the results expected.

Leaders can benefit greatly by being able to identify the types of personality characteristics of team members. By understanding the basics of personality types, the new leader can help use the individual strengths of members for the good of the whole team. They can also then assign tasks that individual team member’s will naturally excel in. A leader can additionally learn to communicate in a way that is motivating, by taking into account the needs, values and working preferences of different team members.

A good leader will see the greatest results by working and utilizing the strengths and working style characteristics of the personalities on the team. By correctly positioning the individual team member where their strengths will shine, and compensating for their weaknesses, a leader can bring the team into a productive balance and greater harmony.

A brief overview of the different values and working styles of the four main personality groups will demonstrate the importance that this knowledge plays in being a part of your successful leadership toolbox. And, please keep in mind that these are overviews. Very few people can be pigeonholed into a single personality type. The four types of personality will be described using the colors Gold, Blue, Green and Orange.

Know your team member’s personality type, learn their strengths and weaknesses, and coordinate your team efforts better. And, that is where we will pick up our discussion tomorrow…

Thoughts?

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Public Speaking: The importance of listening

public speakers

It’s much easier to be convincing if you care about your topic.

Figure out what’s important to you about your message and

speak from the heart.

Nicholas Boothman

When you are attending a speaking event, try listening to other expert speakers as much as possible, as they may be able to provide you with useful tips and information while you hear them speak. If you are not the first speaker on a roster, this can also help you eliminate some annoying (for your audience) redundancy and add more emphasis is some areas when it is finally time for you to speak in front of the audience.

In addition to listening to the other speakers, try to listen to the audience as well. By knowing the audience a bit better, a speaker can have a clearer idea about what they are really wanting to know, and what the audience may not be interested in hearing more about. Here are some tips that you can be accomplished before making your own big speech.

1. Mingle. Whenever possible, go into the entrance hall and try to mingle with the audience as they arrive. Greeting them will help decrease your anxiety and tension, and putting a smile on their faces at the beginning will help you as your speech begins.

2. Visit, or walk around the space before your speech. Get a feel for the room. Being familiar with the people and the space can be helpful in knowing the audience type better.

3. No apologies. Remember that people came there to listen, may have paid in advanced, blocked their schedules ahead of time, and the very last thing that the listeners want to hear is a speaker giving apologies.

4. Do your homework. Knowing who you are delivering the speech to and the place where these people came from will definitely give ideas on how to properly talk to them.

5. Learn to study facial expressions. The audience members may not be saying anything aloud, but their actions and the way they tense their muscles will definitely give you some clues as to whether you were not understood, or that they have questions about something that was earlier spoken. If this happens, open the floor up for questions. Begin the process by raising your own hand to invite other people to offer their questions.

6. Engage the audience. The audience certainly hopes that a speaker will be interesting, informative, and a little entertaining. If they have questions, be sure that you completely understand it, repeat it for the remainder of the audience, and answer them in the most informative way possible. If it is a sensitive topic, then your mood, tone and answer should reflect that. If it is a little lighter topic, icebreakers and banter go a long way in helping relax the audience.

For instance, I speak on a variety of topics. Leadership, health, sexual assault, bible study. Your tone and demeanor must match your subject matter band your audience.

7. Stop. A good speaker must know when to halt during the speech. Practicing the speech at home by using a timer will help you eliminate unnecessary words or phrases. You seek a middle ground with the kinds of words you use. The unimportant words can be removed since these will only either bore, or distract the audience’s attention.

Listen to other speakers and learn. Know your topic. Know your audience and venue. Be your best self. Know when to stop.

Thoughts?

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Guest Post: Identities are being stolen, to be sold on the black market, @wbider

black-market

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure

Benjamin Franklin.

Summary: Credit card fraud isn’t only being done by a single individual to a single person at a time. Mass theft is on the rise. Keeping a close eye on your credit report, bank statements, and shredding documents after properly recording them, are steps one can take to stay on top of credit safety.

Identity theft is still a huge problem despite the fact that awareness has been spread about the issue. Though a lot of people have taken some steps, such as purchasing a paper shredder or switching to online statements, a lot of personal data is still being stolen. It is important that those steps are being taken; it lessens the risk that someone could stumble upon a person’s information and partake in a crime of opportunity. However, it isn’t enough. This is because while single person identity theft happens, there is also the theft of massive amounts of data being stolen, and then sold.

It isn’t just a problem of a lost credit card anymore. No longer are identity thieves only the people who steal the information of someone down the street, or hack into a computer for personal use. Now there are other concerns. You most likely won’t read an ad on Craigslist oreBay stating – John Smith’s credit-card info for sale first 10 dollars gets it, but it’s almost found that easily. There is a criminal enterprise that operates on the internet – millions of credit card numbers are being sold on the black market. After hacking and stealing, criminals are selling credit card data in bulk. The way it works is they hack a business, or other entity that houses large quantities of information. They then advertise this service for sale all over the internet.

According to the U.S. Department of Justice, credit-card data theft has grown 50 percent in the past decade. Millions of unsuspecting, and often unknowing, consumers’ credit data has been marketed to identity thieves around the world. Selling anywhere from 10-50 dollars for an average consumer’s credit data to hundreds of dollars for a consumer with high dollar credit cards, like American Express, according to the director of McAfee’s, Santa Clara, California office.

Computer programs written by identity thieves have reached an all-time high since 2007, numbering approximately to 130 million. Individual consumers aren’t the only ones to be attacked. The thieves have started targeting businesses, where credit-card numbers are plentiful. That isn’t to say that businesses aren’t fighting back. It costs the average business $150-250 for each card number stolen. That cost stems from legal settlements, hiring contractors to uninstall any and all viruses from their system, and the payroll for notifying consumers of the incident. The expenses for credit card fraud, in turn, affects the consumer in the form of increased prices from retailers and credit card fees. This type of theft is now surpassing the rate of traditional property crimes. It’s only a matter of time until it happens to everyone.

Individually a consumer will suffer if their data falls into a thief’s hands as they will bear the responsibility for clearing up their credit record along with the costs that go with that. But, it’s not just that the consumer’s credit-cards can be attacked. Identity thieves now target tax returns and the IRS may not divulge that information. Financial institutions are becoming increasingly better at spotting and squashing identity theft activity that’s the good news. The crime in as far as direct costs that consumers pay for a credit card’s unauthorized usage are limited. The bad news, analysts think that may change because the crime continues to grow.

So what should you do to try and protect yourself from this widespread crime? Experts agree that monitoring all three of your credit reports is a great way to become familiar with the regular activity present on these reports. Then, if something shows up that is out of the ordinary, you’ll know right away and can take action. The best way to prevent credit card fraud is to be aware of your information.

Also, it is a good idea to keep track of information you will need to use in the event of a data breach. Having a file in a safe location that contains important contact information for the credit card companies and banks you use will make it easier in a stressful situation. Then you can just access that file to report the necessary information. Saving the information for the places you should report credit scams to is a good idea as well. FBI Tips and Public Leads is the website for reporting credit fraud and other scams to the FBI. Reporting these crimes is a good thing for all citizens to do. When scams are not reported the criminals who perpetrate them are not being caught, which results in the scamming of more people. This vicious circle affects us all as consumers and taxpayers.

In the end, monitoring your credit won’t be expensive in comparison to the high price that victims of identity theft can pay. Lost savings, damaged credit which means higher interest rates, time off of work to name a few. The use of a 3 in 1 report that includes your credit score will help teach you more about your use of credit. It can save you both time and money because you are able to spot and stop fraud underway.

Remember to never give your information out over the internet or phone if you aren’t positive that the place requesting it is the actual company you already have a relationship with.

jyoti-mali

Joy Mali is a staff writer on TheWashingtonTimes and Examiner. Her work is also published on Lifehack, Yahoo and other mainstream sites. She like to share interesting tips to help people manage their personal finances & credit. Connect with her on social media sites

Google + – https://plus.google.com/116733756592169232053?rel=author

Twitter – https://www.twitter.com/wbider

Musings + Affirmations: Relinquishing control

I realize there’s something incredibly honest about

trees in winter,

how they’re experts at letting things go.

Jeffrey McDaniel

Affirmation: I am relinquishing control over the uncontrollable.

When I am in one of life’s lowest valleys, I am comforted by positive thoughts. These thoughts bring such comfort to me that I can often smile in the midst of shadows.

I cannot control of everything, because there are many, many things in this world that are well beyond my control. And that is alright. I am responsible for those things that I am able to manage, but I am also quick to let go of the things that I cannot influence. In order to save myself a great deal of anxiety, I do not hold on to things that I cannot control.

I give my best to those things that I can control. I set fair expectations for myself. I am diligent. I am hardworking, yet I have no problem admitting my limitations.

When I identify something in my life that is uncontrollable, I let go of it quickly. I do not waste my time trying to handle things that are impossibly out of my reach. I am happy to relinquish control because my ego and my pride are in check.

When I have to acknowledge my lack of control, I do not feel guilt. By letting go of control, I make room for miracles.

In situations where I am unsure of what to do, I seek help and guidance. If I see that there is nothing else that I can do, I pray, take a deep breath, and then I simply let go.

I relinquish control of all situations to a Higher Power. Where my strength ends, there is a greater strength that will continue to carry me forward. When my abilities run thin, therein is the power of miracles.

Today, I am relinquishing control over the uncontrollable.

Homework/ Self-Reflective Questions/ Journal Prompts:

1. What are some things that I need to give up?

2. How can I free myself from undue pressures and anxieties?

3. In what way have I recently burdened myself with something that I could not control? How should I handle this going forward?

Thoughts?

Have an awesome week!

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Value Yourself

The way that other people treat you is the way in which you allow them to treat you. And often, the value they place on you and your contributions are related to how you present and value yourself. Everyone matters, including you. But, the thing is that you must become fully convinced that you matter. Its like that Henry Ford quote about thinking you can or can’t… Whether you think you matter, or you think you don’t, you are correct. ~martina

If you are never convinced of your own worth, value or contributions, you will spend much of your time in one of two camps.

The first camp: You feel you are worthless, so you act accordingly. You never speaking up, never try anything new, never pursue your dreams because you have decided that it is all a waste of your tome… Or

The second camp: You feel worthless, so you spend your time always feeling like you need to hurry up, to catch up and to keep up, and only succeed in looking as if you are trying way too hard, and that you just don’t really “get it.”

Yes, we have all been hurt, looked over, knocked aside or knocked down. But that doesn’t mean that you have to stay down. You matter! You freaking matter!!!

So, here is your permission slip for the weekend:

– Pull those big girl panties or those big boy tight-whiteys up, figure out where things may have gone wrong, go home and do some homework, get some rest, take some deep breaths, get your head back in the game and off of your pity party.

– Suit up for the race on Monday morning, knowing full well that you are worthy, and that you bring value.

– And never, ever believe anyone who tells you otherwise, again! Not even you!

– Bonus: If you need to, feel free to print out the picture above and hang it a few places where you will see it often.

Have an awesome weekend.

Game-face Monday!

~ martina

Watermelon-Peach Smoothie

watermelon-peach smoothie 3867406519_918fafdc52

When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out –

because that’s what’s inside.

When you are squeezed,

what comes out is what is inside.

Wayne Dyer

Ingredients

2-3 cups of seeded watermelon

1 cup low fat vanilla yogurt (I substitute Vanilla Almond milk here, because of my lactose intolerance)

1 cup of frozen strawberries

1 peach, or 1/2 cup of peach juice

Add these to your blender.

Blend until smooth.

Makes 2 glasses.

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Public Speaking: Body Language

public speaking

You can speak well if your tongue can deliver the

message of your heart.

John Ford

Thank you very much! We have had a great response to the posts on public speaking. We will revisit public speaking again in the future, but to bring this short series to a close, I have chosen to add one unplanned post about some things to remember while you are giving your speech.

When delivering your presentation, what you have to say is very important. But, you must keep in mind that your non-verbal behavior and cues, your body language, will often communicate so much more than your words do, that you should be aware of these as well. Make an effort to control your body language and present the right impression to those watching your presentation.

Eye Contact

As you step up to begin, you may very briefly forget everything you prepared. This is fortunately usually a temporary effect, but it can lead you to an over-reliance on your written notes or speech.

You will want to make eye contact with the audience because this will help to get them involved in what you are saying. It is perfectly fine to glance down periodically, but your primary focus should be on the crowd.

Avoid looking (and feeling) awkward by knowing your speech well. In this way, you can focus on maintaining eye contact with your audience without bobbing your head up and down constantly to refresh your memory. As a result, your audience will come to see you as an authority on the subject and trust what you have to say.

Move Your View Around the Room

When making eye contact with your audience, try to make sure that every section of the crowd gets your attention. Rather than focusing your gaze on one particular person, try to move from section to section, picking a person at random and making eye contact with them.

Talk (Rather Than Read)

When you have your speech in front of you, it becomes very tempting to look down at it and read it.

If you are an author and you are doing a public reading of a new work, you may be able to get away with this for extended periods of time. Otherwise, talk to the crowd as if you were inviting them into a conversation about your subject matter.

In order to connect with your audience, it is important that they can see your face. So, try to look down at your notes seldom and only for brief moments. Holding the speech in front of your face is ineffective, will muffle your voice, and hide your smile. Talk to your audience like you would a friend discussing your topic. Just think of it as a conversation.

During your speech, look around to every section of the audience so that each member of your audience is engaged with you and with the subject matter. Try to move your eyes instead of your whole head so that your movement appears more natural and less forced.

There are many benefits of learning to speak in public. Most of all, you will gain valuable experience in stepping out of your comfort zone, rising to the challenge, and conquering your fears.

Remember: Prepare well, trust in yourself, and make the most of the opportunity to present your ideas and persuade others!

Thank you for sharing.

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Public Speaking: Performance Anxiety

anxiety

Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.

If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.

Arthur Somers Roche

No one is immune

Everyone has some anxiety about some thing. Anxiety is just a part of normal, everyday life. It can be a useful emotion in helping you to cope with particularly stressful situations. And, at other times, anxiety can be so out of control that it interferes with your ability to function normally in stressful situations, even if the stress is only a product of our own imagination.

There will always be reasons in life to feel anxious. No age is immune. Children feel it in school before a test. Even infants feel it when they are separated from their mothers. Adults have plenty of opportunities to feel anxious whether it is related to work, finances, romance, or just from being self-conscious.

Sometimes anxiety comes because people have to do things they are afraid of doing. We talked a bit about this in yesterday’s post, but one of the most common anxiety-producing experiences is related to public speaking. Many people fear being in front of the public, either as a speaker or just as someone being singled out or noticed in a crowd.

Do you have a fear of speaking in public or performing on a stage? If so, you may have some issues with a type of performance anxiety.

Signs and symptoms

Performance anxiety may be an issue for you if the following ring true.

You are overly concerned about looking foolish in front of other people and being laughed at
You worry that people can see how nervous you are
You experience anxiety far in advance of an event simply from anticipating your fears will run rampant
You feel immediate, intense and sometimes paralyzing fear upon learning that you will need to perform in public
You use every and any device to get out of public performances or have gone so far as to not show up if you couldn’t get out of it
You have avoided/ missed out on opportunities because of your fear of being in the public spotlight

Performance anxiety is usually all in the mind. After all, not everyone fears going on stage, and there is usually no inherent danger in doing so. The fear comes from the imagined dangers. Dangerous thoughts like feeling that you are not smart enough or good enough to avoid looking ridiculous. So, since the danger is manufactured in your mind, the most important step in working through your performance anxiety is to change your way of thinking.

How do I change my thinking?

1. Self Assessment

Get to know yourself, both as a person and as a performer
Specifically identify the problem thoughts that are holding you hostage and ramping up your anxiety

2. Exposure and Preparation

Find opportunities for limited performance exposure, but not to the point your anxiety kicks in
Practice, practice, practice your speech or performance
Tape it and watch yourself , listen to yourself.
Practice until you have it down pat, but not memorized. Know your stuff!
Always be totally prepared before giving your performance so that you will feel confident with and about the material
Learn some relaxation techniques and practice them right before your performance

3. The Performance

Visualize the audience as friends and family who would only wish you well
Don’t think of yourself. This is not about you!
Think of the audience
Stay calm and enjoy yourself

4. After the Performance

Don’t spend a lot of time criticizing yourself, no matter the outcome
Congratulate yourself for doing your best
Reward yourself for making progress

Train yourself to change your thoughts and instead of worrying about how badly people will think of your performance, and instead, imagine that they are thinking good things about you. Imagine yourself as self confident and thoroughly prepared and capable of completing the performance.

As you change your thinking, you will notice that your performance anxiety will start to slip away.

Thoughts?

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