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Do you like you?

acceptance

I care not so much what I am to others as what I am to myself.

I will be rich by myself, and not by borrowing.

Michel de Montaigne

Do you like yourself?

It may surprise you to find out how many people lack the ability to accept themselves for who they are. Many people are able to put up a façade so they appear self-confident when they really are anything but. The good news is that, even if you find that you are one of these people, you can learn how to better accept yourself. If you suffer from low self worth or confidence, you already have the ability to turn things around!

Why is it important to accept yourself?

It is important to accept yourself because that single shift in your thinking can prove to be the difference between a life of happiness and a life of sadness. When you accept yourself, you are much more likely to accomplish more of what you want in your life. That’s because self-acceptance is a foundation. After you accept yourself, you can continue to build from there and add on the other important attributes like confidence, tranquility, enthusiasm, drive and happiness.

How do I get better at accepting myself?

1. Allow for errors. Sometimes you will try way too hard to be perfect, and this is in and of itself, a mistake. Allow yourself to make mistakes because you are after all, human. Just like everyone else, you will make some little errors and some big mistakes in life, but it is in how you bounce back from them that will make difference in whether you go forward, or stay stuck.

2. Live in today. One of the reason that you may not have accepted yourself could be that you are too busy living your life in the past. Perhaps you find that you are unable to forgive yourself for something that happened or a certain trait that you have. Getting over the past is a huge step in building up your confidence, self-respect, and hope for the future.

3. Stop comparing! Avoid comparing yourself with others. Other people have different skill sets and life experiences than you. You must soon or late come to terms with the fact that you cannot have what everyone else has. You are uniquely you! And you likely have many things that others do not. Each and every person is a unique set of talents, gifts, abilities, opportunities. Learn to be grateful for what makes you different from everyone else, as this is part of your own inner beauty and charm.

4. Set realistic goals. If you do not set and maintain realistic goals, you will be setting yourself up for failure. Set realistic and manageable goals that you can achieve with confidence. Challenge yourself, but be a realist also.

5. Be comfortable in your own skin. Sometimes you don’t want to accept yourself because of the way you look. Society puts some serious pressure on people in that way. Remember that those people in magazines are usually airbrushed and you should not be striving to look like them. Instead, focus on your own positive attributes and overall health.

6. Positive thinking. One of the most important accomplishments on the journey to accepting yourself is learning to think positively. It is very easy to forget how much power there is in your thinking. If you make the effort to think a certain way, you can actually change your manner of thinking and, eventually, change your actions. Positive thinking leads to positive actions, which lead to feeling better about yourself in general.

7. Get help and support from loved ones. Keep in mind that you can always ask for help from your loved ones. You can always tap into your support network. It can sometimes be very helpful to get an outside perspective on your what you are dealing with. Everyone tends to be their own worst critic, but you can count on your loved ones for their generous support and love. Your loved ones have obviously accepted you for who you are. And, you will be a much happier camper once you have come to the same realization as well.

These are just a few of the strategies that you can try out. Once you learn to accept yourself, you will find that the world is a wonderful place and you will enjoy your place in it!

Thoughts?

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Musings + Affirmations: Communication is the master key to opening the door to happiness

We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of

getting something we don’t have,

but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.

Frederick Keonig

Affirmation: Communication is the master key that I use to open the door to happiness.

The quality of the relationships in my life is determined by my own sense of well-being. This is built on a strong foundation of communication.

I create ever deeper relationships by sharing my thoughts and feelings honestly and openly. I have let go of the notion that people should be able to read my mind to figure out what’s going on with me. I speak up when I feel hurt or offended because I am confident that our love allows us to work through conflict.

Today, I will share my thoughts and ideas because I know that we are strongest when we work together.

I also take the time to ask others what they are thinking and feeling. I actively listen to them, and repeat back what I think they are saying until I am confident that I am truly hearing not just their words but also the meaning behind the words.

I have abandoned the idea that I will be happiest if other people tell me what they think I want to hear. I have no interest in illusions, even the ones that make me feel good.

I am more interested in sharing truth and using it to create true and authentic bonds that strengthen everyone involved as we reach our goals together.

Homework/ Self-Reflective/ Journal Prompts:

1. Am I really interested in hearing the truth from the people that I love?

2. Am I building strong relationships on a foundation of honesty?

3. Do I take the time and make the effort to share and listen rather than expect people to be able to read my mind?

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Attitudinal imprisonment…

James

Life is always changing. It is the only constant in everyone’s life. Sometimes change is easy, and oftentimes it is difficult. You know the old saying,” Everyone wants change, but no one wants to be changed.” We feel that we are bound by many constraints- time, opportunity, money, resources, people, talent, gifting. But most often we are bound by the one thing in life that we actually can control… our attitudes. How we perceive something, how we process the information and then how we decide to react are all locked into our attitudes.

When we respond that we will not change because “that is how we have always done it,” we demonstrate a mindset that is closed and has no hope of advancement, and little hope of continued engagement with the reality of the outside changing world. It is like being in a dark cave with a friend who has a flashlight in their back pocket. But you insist on continuing to cast about in the dark, without the benefit of light, because you already “know” how to get out, you “know” the way to go, the way forward. Yes, you may find your way out, but then again, you may not.

Our journey through life is not a solo act. There are lights and gems of wisdom all around you all the time. You can certainly choose to remain locked in the prison which you have constructed for yourself. Or you can free yourself. All you have to do is open your mind, open your eyes, open your heart, and open your attitude to some fresh thinking.

Yes, the lives we lead are all about change. But you know what else they are about? Choice.

~ martina

Clarity leads to achievement

goals

I find it fascinating that most people plan their vacation with better care

than they do their lives.

Perhaps that is because escape is easier than change.

Jim Rohn

Without specific goals, there will be no sustainable passion, purpose, or drive in your life. If your goals are too vague, you will find that it is much more difficult to reach your desired and intended results than if you had taken the time to properly prepare in the first place.

Plan your goals

You know the drill. Plan your work and work your plan. The planning phase of getting from here to “there,” moving from point A to point B, is the most important stage when it comes to achieving your goals. Planning might be easy or hard for you, but one thing is for sure, and that is without planning the end goal may not even come into existence at all.

While it is important that you set up your own system, one that works well for you, there are some simple goal setting strategies you can use to make your planning easier.

Getting clarity

1. What do you want? Decide what specifically wish to achieve. Whether your goal is lofty or small, decide exactly what it is that you want. If you want money, how much? If you want to lose weight, how many pounds? If you want success, how do you describe your vision of success? How do you define success for yourself?

Don’t be afraid to take your time to figure out what you want. At some point you will need to sift through all of your thoughts and take specific action, but be as sure as you can that you are acting on what is truly important to you!

2. Specify. The details matter. Be very detailed as you develop each part of your goal. Instead of a goal like “I want to be better at sports,” consider a goal like “I want to perform exceptionally well during spring tryouts so that I can become an all-star point guard for my high school basketball team.” Just being “better” at sports is way too vague. There are just too many options and roads to take that your mind will not be able to focus on any one route to reach your goal.

3. You know what’s next… Write it down. Write down your all of your ideas and decisions. It does not matter if you use pencil and paper, a computer, or even your cell phone. What is important is that you are able to keep track of a large amount of specific information instead of trying to remember everything. After all, your goals only feel real when you can see them clearly in front of you.

4. Baby steps. Break your goal down into smaller do-able pieces. If you have a lofty goal, it will be immensely more manageable if you break it down into smaller increments. Smaller pieces will make your goal seem less complex. Plus, it will be easier for you to achieve your ultimate goal if everything is set out for you as mini-goals, instead of just one huge, seemingly insurmountable feat.

5. Rinse and repeat. Repeat the process. Once you have found a good system, meaning, one that works for you, it is then time to repeat the process. Clarify each of the other goals that you would like to achieve.

For example, if you would ideally like to “spend more time with your family,” which is waaaaay too vague, make a list of specific family activities you would like to do together, and then work out the details of how you can make those goals a reality.

Someday is NOT a day of the week!

One of the biggest reasons that people tend to keep their goals vague is that they are actually afraid of achieving them. It’s true! After all, it really is a whole lot easier and simpler to keep putting off your goals and do nothing, than it is to take specific action to achieve it. But then you need to ask yourself, what good is a goal that merely resides on paper or in your head?

Once you have decided on a clear and specific goal, it is time to take swift action to make it a reality. Do NOT wait for someday to achieve your goals.

There’s no time like the present… so let’s do this!

Thoughts?

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Pushing your actions into overdrive

overdrive

I congratulate myself warmly for each accomplishment,

then ask, “What’s next?”

Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you are seeking success in your life, you will need to learn how to take some positive action every day to accomplish your goals. After all, doing the least amount of work will likely lead you to achieve mediocre results. So instead, put your actions into overdrive and make the most of your efforts. You can make every action you take a positive one that helps to build momentum and propel you forward. You will feel better about what you are doing, and your passion for life will inspire those around you as well.

Positive action, Positive life

When you put your best efforts into all that you do, you will develop an intense passion that will be unmatched. You will find that you actually enjoy your life more when you are fully engaged in the things you love to do.

Life is just a lot more fulfilling when you are passionate about your work and your family. Although it may seem challenging to see everything through passionate and positive eyes, such an outlook is absolutely possible. If you are unsure about how you will be able to summon up more passion for a project or task, there is a tool that can help you build momentum by utilizing the power of your own positive mindset. So what is that? Positive affirmations!

What’s up with affirmations?

Affirmations can help you take positive action by re-defining how you see, think and feel about life. In essence, affirmations are positive statements that activate your mind and encourage you to push forward. Once you begin to employ affirmations in your life, on a regular basis, those negative and self-defeating thoughts will be a thing of the past.

If you need a positive thought, for example, you can say something as simple as, “I infuse my mind, heart, and spirit with past accomplishments, new ideas, and a fresh attitude.” Continually repeating positive affirmations will help you create a positive outlook in just about any situation you can imagine.

Positive affirmations allow you to set your goals, visualize them, and reaffirm them each time you state the affirmation. This positive statement becomes your personal mantra that can help you turn your goals into your reality. Remember that words are powerful because they have the ability to elicit emotion and inspire us to action.

Affirmations are usually very simple, but they can help you make long-lasting and far-reaching changes in your life, one single step at a time. If you are having a hard time finding the motivation, try something like, “I am building momentum with each step I take.”

As long as your actions are congruent with your positive mindset, you will begin to see and feel results nearly instantly.

Affirmations have the power to change the way you see yourself, as well as how you think and feel about yourself. Millions of people are using affirmations every day to help them become happier, healthier, and more balanced individuals. You can put your actions into overdrive and accomplish more stuff in less time.

After all, if words can move mountains, imagine what you will be able to do when your thoughts, attitudes and actions are aligned!

Thoughts?

Can’t think of a good or useful affirmation? Join us here every Saturday and Sunday. We’re here to help.

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Stressful thinking weighing you down?

weighed down

Stress is the trash of modern life –

we all generate it but if you don’t dispose of it properly,

it will pile up and overtake your life.

Danzae Pace

Everyone encounters stress, day to day and minute to minute. But it is in how we deal with stress that determines whether it will move us forward or hold us back. Stressful thinking is often frenzied, inaccurate, and unreliable, yet many people go through life thinking and behaving in stressful ways. People often, wrongfully, assume that this is the way that life has to be, lived. This is most assuredly not the case! Silencing negative thinking is likely easier than you imagine it to be, but it does begin with a positive thought.

Positive goals, negative thinking, and You

Negative thinking not only controls the way in which you approach your life, but it also can affect your body, mind, and relationships in harmful ways. When you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you have the power to move yourself forward in a healthier and more productive manner. With enough time and effort, you can change your thought process, and it all begins with just a few words.

Power in words

When you look at a list of affirmations, you see nothing more than a list of words with idealistic phrases that do not seem to have any real application to your life or to your thinking. If you look more closely at each affirmation, you will find that many of them encapsulate the way you would like to think.

When you see a positive phrase that speaks to you, you need to latch onto it and use it to extinguish your negative thought s. In essence, you will be replacing your negative thinking pattern with a positive approach. And this is what positive affirmations are really all about!

Affirmations are positive statements that stimulate your mind to accomplish all of the great things you desire. Words have the power to move mountains because they can evoke emotions within us all. If you use an affirmation that speaks to you on a deep level – and you reaffirm it by repeating it often – you can turn this statement into your mantra and your reality.

If you are overwhelmed by negative thinking to the point that you begin to thing that no affirmation can work for you, don’t lose hope! There are many affirmations that can help you deal with just that! Using an affirmation such as, “Negative thinking is not my way of thinking” will get you started as well as give you the power to change your thought process and your life. It may feel awkward at first, but as you reaffirm the positive emotions you desire, your negative thinking will be replaced with positive thoughts.

There are many different affirmations to help you with negative thinking. Something as simple as, “Negative thoughts cannot enter my mind” will allow you a moment to replace your feelings of anger or frustration with a positive thought.

Too good to be true?

There are many people who, just like you, think this strategy is too simple to be effective. The only way to know for certain is to try it for yourself. What do you have to lose? No one has to know but you, and you may just stumble across some benefits that are just so great that you will want to share them with everyone you know.

Having trouble coming up with an affirmation? Join us every weekend for affirmations on Saturday and Sunday.

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Tapping into your creativity

creativity

Creativity is more than just being different.

Anybody can plan weird; that’s easy.

What’s hard is to be as simple as Bach.

Making the simple, awesomely simple,

that’s creativity.

Charles Mingus

Do you love being creative, but want to take your creativity to a whole new level? Do you feel overwhelmed by your work and find that your natural creative abilities and talents are going untapped? If so, you need to learn how to tap into your creativity whenever you want to or feel you need to. When you allow creative thinking to flow, you will find that you can enhance your natural abilities and accomplish more stuff in less time.

Creative thinking gives birth to creativity

Creativity allows you to become who you want to be. If you cannot release your creativity, you may begin to feel that your professional growth seems stunted, or you may not be able to think as clearly as you would like. Many of people underestimate the importance of creativity until they are taught to tap into it through creative thinking.

How do I get started?

Cut and paste

You can begin with a simple exercise like going through those magazines you never get to read, and cutting out random images. You then can glue them all to a paper or a board without thinking about it. Just let your creative juices flow! Finally, step back and see what your mind has created. You may be impressed and surprised with yourself. This will help you tap into your creative energy.

Listen

Another way to jump-start your creative thinking is by listening to music. Put on a CD that you are unfamiliar with or borrow a friend’s. When you listen to something that you have never experienced before, you may find that you are changing your definitions of creativity and are lighting your creative fire all at the same time.

Groove on

Dance! Creative thinking often starts with an active body. Put on a CD or go out to a club that has live music. Try a dance class, or enjoy the movement of your body in the privacy of your own living room. Whatever it is, do something to get up and get moving! You will be surprised at how creative you will feel afterwards. You may feel inspired and ready to tackle some new and exciting projects. Or perhaps you will find that your current workload isn’t as daunting as it first appeared. After all, you will be relaxing while having fun!

Write

Another option is to set your timer for 15 minutes. From the minute you press start, you should write freely. Write whatever comes into your mind without thinking about it or planning. Then step back and see the creativity that flowed from your mind to your hand, and then to your pen and onto the paper.

Affirm

Another awesome way to boost creative thinking is through affirmations. These positive statements can help you remember what it is to be creative and how wondrous it feels when creativity flows through you. You can create a list of affirmations for yourself such as, “I feel an intense flame of passion for things that interest me,” that can help you tap into the creative person that you are, even as you deal with everyday stresses. Or, if you can’t think of any on your own, join us here every Saturday and Sunday for affirmations for the week.

You are already creative. If you are dragging through life or feel you are stuck in the doldrums of life, try any or all of these techniques to light your creative torch!

Thoughts?

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Improving your brainpower

brain

You’ve got to think about the big things while

you’re doing the small things,

so that all the small things go in the right direction.

Alvin Toffler

Are you aware that you are capable of much more than you are doing now? Tapping into the full power of your brain is something you can learn to do with practice. By doing this, you can begin to harness the power of your mind to complete tasks and go about your life with a little more ease. When you tap into your full brainpower you will learn how to focus on what really matters so that you can get more done more quickly and efficiently.

Tapping into your brainpower

Have you ever completed a project and then find that you have to do it over again when you realized you made a silly little mistake? Most of the time we stop, laugh at ourselves and wonder what we could have been thinking. But we also think that it would be nice to get things done in the first go without having to re-do tasks over and over again.

This is one of the main reasons you need to constantly work at improving your mind so that you can accomplish things faster, and with the least amount of effort.

Turn off the Mental Chatter

The first thing that you will need to do when you want to tap into your mind’s full power and potential is to turn off the noise. I am not necessarily talking about the music playing in the room, or the television someone has on in the background. It is the noise in your mind! All of the negative thoughts and concerns and worries that distract you and continually pull you away from what you should be concentrating on are all mental noises. So you must consciously turn off the noise when you need to reign in all of your energy to complete a difficult task. Any time a thought misdirects or misleads you, stop and immediately write it down, and get then back on task.

Personally, I have paper to write on all over the house. The most importantly is at the bedside. If I suddenly think of a solution to a thorny problem, a particular way top phrase something, a post title, anything, I can sit up and write it down, then go back to sleep. Much sleep is lost over trying to hold onto an idea or thought until morning. Write the thought out so that you will understand it in the morning, and forget about it until your night’s rest is complete.

Prioritize your list

The next strategy is to prioritize the items that you really need to get done right away. Being able to create a plan of attack will help you use all of your mental abilities when you need them the most. You will be able to focus on the task at hand when you know that everything has its place on paper. This will help you to devote your brainpower to what you are doing so that you can enjoy your work without worrying about what’s up ahead of you. You will find that you are being more efficient and effective when it comes to completing the tasks in front of you since everything else will have its own appointed time and place.

Power of positive thinking

Positive thinking techniques are another great way to tap into your brainpower. For example, if you use affirmations, you will be able to turn off all of that negative inner dialog you have running through your head and easily replace it with positive thoughts to keep you moving forward.

Many people don’t realize how ineffective negative thoughts make them, or how much energy they steal away. These thoughts can distract you and keep you from doing the things that you want or need to do. An affirmation such as, “My lasting success is my focus” can help you tap into your confidence so you can begin to get things done. Over time, using positive thinking techniques will turn off any negative thoughts so you can tap into the power of your mind to accomplish more and reach greater levels of success.

You can begin to harness more of your fantastic brain power by nixing the negative mental chatter, prioritizing what you need to get done and add a few positive and specific affirmations. I am a proponent of affirmations and positive thinking. It switches your mindset an energy level so that you can accomplish the things you desire.

If you are having trouble coming up with some, check in with us every Saturday and Sunday for a little boost.

Thoughts?

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Musings+Affirmations: I savor each moment of each day.

You’ll seldom experience regret for anything that you’ve done.

It is what you haven’t done that will torment you.

The message, therefore, is clear.

Do it!

Develop an appreciation for the present moment.

Seize every second of your life and savor it.

Value your present moments.

Using them up in any self-defeating ways means you’ve lost them forever.

Wayne Dyer

Affirmation: I savor each moment of each day.

I savor the moments that fill my life because each day is only lived once. My life is composed of special moments that are unique.

Being mindful of the gift of time helps me to live a richer life. Choosing to be conscious of every precious moment that passes fills me with sweet joy.

My life is overflowing with beautiful moments. Playing with a child, embracing a loved one, reading a good book, chatting with friends, doing well in my career, spending time with my family, or resting after a long day’s work.

I am grateful for each moment.

Each day is an opportunity for me to enjoy my life. Realizing the value of every moment allows me to relish all of the joys in my life, simple and complex alike.

Knowing that I am creating great memories, and knowing that I will be able to look back on these experiences with laughter, fondness, and joy makes each moment even more precious to me.

I look at these memories as wonderful gifts to my future self.

The opportunity to live these moments is gone forever once the day has passed. It is important to rejoice in all of the moments of my day.

Today, and every day after, I will savor each moment in my life.

Homework/ Self-Reflective Questions/ Journal Prompts:

1. Do I remember to savor each moment of each day?

2. Am I mindful that each and every day I have an opportunity to enjoy life?

3. How can I create a good moment today so that I may gift my future self with a beautiful memory?

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Nothing but a number. Or is it?

033_Barrymore_1680x1050

Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years.

We grow old by deserting our ideals.

Years may wrinkle the skin,

but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.

Samuel Ullman

I have a phrase that I commonly use when asked how I am doing. Its, “not too bad for an old woman,” and it is usually accompanied by a knowing smile, although not 100% of the time. Usually it makes people stop for a moment and try to think of an appropriate comeback. Sometimes they are good, and sometimes I can see their minds churching about their own age. And occasionally I will let them off the hook by saying something like, “I have been saying that for 30 years or so;” which I have.

Age is a number and a mindset. I am about to have yet another birthday and have been around for many decades. But, it has recently occurred to me that my current age is nothing like what I remember my mother’s or grandmother’s life being like. I have been fortunate in many ways. I have been able to pursue most of my dreams and have many more mountains to conquer. And, actually, if you were to ask my daughters, they would say, “My Mom will never grow up.” And, she doesn’t mean only in adult responsibilities. In many ways, I have known and shouldered some adult responsibilities since I was a young child. But that’s for another day…

I have indeed grown up, but I have learned that it is a conscious choice to have a mind and a mindset that grows old. We get older in numbers and hopefully maturity. Our bodies are not as limber and yielding as they once were, and our minds may not be the steel traps we once thought they once were for information. But, it is a choice to keep learning, keep evolving, keep exploring, and to keep meeting life’s new challenges head-on. Until you stop doing these things, you are never old, and you will never grow up.

Enjoy the journey. It is the thing!

~ martina