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“He who fails to plan, plans to fail”

~ Proverb

When you engage in active planning, you’re much more likely to be more successful in life. You know what you want and you have a plan to get there. Perhaps you already have your life all planned out. Maybe you don’t. Either way, these tips will help you develop or modify your Life Plan so you can move forward toward realizing the joy and fulfillment you deserve. Take some quiet time to answer the following questions about what you desire most.

1. What are your dreams? Allow yourself some “dream” time to clarify to yourself what you really want out of life. Be as over-the-top as you like. Then, write them down. There is no limit to the number of dreams or how large they are. Life provides ample opportunities to let go of certain goals and add new ones. It’s part of growth and maturity. Infuse your Life Plan with all your dreams and goals. See additional posting, Goal Setting: Journal.

2. What is important? Whatever you feel is crucial to you should be reflected in your Life Plan. Maybe you’ve always been thinking about getting education. Perhaps you’ve wanted to travel but have not found the time or money to do so. If you grew up in a rented home, owning a home might be the single most important thing in your life. If it’s important to you, include it. Figure out what matters to you. Passion, success and what really matters.

3. What do you want to accomplish? What deeds do you want to achieve? Now is the time to write down what you want to do with your life. Is working on a church mission something you aspire to do? Do you want to win an award in your career for your work performance? List what you want to attain in each area of your life: personal, professional and educational.

4. What standard of living do you want? Your answer here will describe the life you want to lead. Do you want to live in a high-rise apartment in the city? Do you want to own your own farm in the country? Perhaps you are thinking that you’d prefer to live simply and pick up and go wherever you want. Perhaps you want to earn more money, live in a large house, drive an expensive car, and enjoy wearing pricey clothes, take more vacations, go on retreats. In essence, you seek the high life.

Thoroughly investigate what standard of living you want so you can include it in your Life Plan. Really search your soul. There are no “wrong answers” when you’re developing your Life Plan.

5. Do you have fun? Perhaps your version of fun means locking yourself in your study to write romances all day. You might find training and running a triathlon to be the time of your life. Activities such as bowling, practicing yoga and traveling to Europe also qualify – whatever brings you joy.

If, however, you answered “no” to this question, then it’s time to get serious about your fun. You’ll require some time to think about activities you might enjoy. When was the last time you “let loose”? List activities that you love to do. What is life without some fun?

6. Are you spending time with friends and family? Generally, those who are the happiest make time for their family and friends. If this issue is important to you, include it in your plan.

7. What do you do for your community? Giving back to your community cultivates feelings of gratitude, satisfaction, and fulfillment in your own life. Donating money, time, or energy for the good of others enables these positive feelings to be an inherent result when you write them into your Life Plan.

8. What self-improvements are high on your list? Striving to excel helps keep you moving toward your life goals. Include short term achievements for many areas of your life.

Developing your Life Plan helps you feel free and in-control at the same time. You have absolute freedom to change it as your wants and desires evolve. Having a Life Plan keeps you focused on all your goals and will motivate you to reach for the stars. A resource worth looking into is Michael Hyatt ‘s blog. One of the benefits of membership is a downloadable Life Plan Workbook.

photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pinguar/2154967090/sizes/z/in/photostream/

Leisure: Use it Wisely

A broad margin of leisure is as beautiful in a man’s life

as in a book.

Haste makes waste, no less in life than in housekeeping.

Keep the time, observe the hours of the universe,

not of the cars.

Henry David Thoreau

Leisure time or free time is good for the soul. It is your best opportunity to re-charge your emotional batteries. Depending on how you spend it, leisure time allows you to truly express who you are and who you strive to be. You’ll feel at peace and content with your life when you begin to utilize non-work time doing the activities that you love.

Here are some tips on how to use your leisure time to your best advantage:

1. Ask yourself, “What do I really long to do?” Yes…make a list. Include simple as well as complex projects and activities you’ve always wanted to do.

Your list might have items on it like: do yoga 3 times a week, watch those DVDs I bought 6 months ago, read at least one novel a month, learn to play guitar, take a pottery class, or spend 2 hours making a scrapbook from last year’s vacation photos.” Whatever makes your heart sing?

2. Look at your calendar. It’s important to get a visual sense of how much leisure time you have in a given week. It can be exhilarating to realize you have 20 hours of leisure time each week.

When does most of your leisure time occur? In the evenings from 7:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m.? Or is it only on the weekends? Or both?

Using a paper calendar (although you can use your smart-phone, too), highlight the time blocks when your free time will happen in the coming week. This part of the exercise alone will make you feel a little excited and happy when you do this step. It just feels great to know you’ve got some “me time” coming.

3. Plan desired activities by writing them into your schedule. It might be unusual for you to consider using your calendar to “schedule” leisure time. However, if it’s written in the calendar, like an appointment, you’re more likely to follow through.

Here’s an example: You might reserve 7:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. Tuesday to read a novel. From 8:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. you plan to work on vacation scrapbook. From 9:00 p.m. to 9:30 p.m., perhaps it’s a call to an out of state sibling.

It’s not really necessary to schedule every unscheduled bit of time you have. However, if it’s written into your schedule, it will be a great reminder for you to begin doing many of the things you long to do. You’ll get focused and feel more fulfilled once you start doing the activities you choose.

4. Pick up or gather all the necessary supplies for favored activities in advance. You’ll be prepared to jump right in when the time arrives, if you already have the supplies you need. Use shoe boxes or plastic bins to store supplies so everything will be at the ready when leisure time rolls around.

5. Regularly update your list of desired activities. This is the wonderful thing about enjoying leisure time. You have absolute control over this process. You are free to change your mind and develop new, exciting interests at your whim.

Life is incredibly enriching when you realize that you can start spending some of your time taking part in activities you find stimulating, interesting, or just plain fun.

To feel content and develop a real enjoyment of life, use leisure moments to your best advantage. Make it a challenge to yourself.

Do every single thing you desire.

Enrich your life by really enjoying your leisure time!

So….what new thing are you going to pursue?

photo credit:http://www.flickr.com/photos/tourismnewbrunswick/4991286872/sizes/z/in/photostream/

Sleep Better!

Getting a good night’s sleep on a regular basis can sometimes be a bit of a mystery. I have had issues in the past with insomnia, and can tell you from personal experience that it can be a challenge and left unchecked, can make you a little crazy.

So, if you are one of those people having problems when it comes to sleeping, here are some of the suggestions that may help you sleep better:

1. Sleep Habits. Develop better sleeping habits. Like almost everything else in life, developing good habits helps a person accomplish certain tasks at hand. For those who are prone to not sleeping well at night, it would be best to start developing good habits that would help him or her get better sleep. Good sleeping habits might include daytime routines such as eating the right foods, exercise, and a short nap in the afternoon. Experts say that eating the right foods would help a person be lulled into sleep. If one wants to get better sleep, he or she must avoid having foods and beverages that contain ingredients that might stimulate the nerves and senses, such as those containing caffeine. To help the body relax, enough physical activity should also be done during the daytime so it will lead to relaxation, but not exhaustion of the body. This should help your body crave rest at night. Although power-napping can work well for some people, it can be detrimental to those of you who are having sleeping problems. The problem is that there is a tendency to “over nap” that which will eventually affect their sleeping at night.

I have not been able to nap for many years. I know from experience that it disrupts my nighttime sleep. Additionally, sticking to my normal, almost regimented bedtime is very important to getting an adequate amount of rest.

You have to find your own particular balance, and maintain it.

2. Exercise. Each of us must get enough daily exercise to help you get better sleep. Aside from the health benefits, regular exercise also helps a person get better sleep especially at night. The body needs to work just enough so it will want to rest at night. Strenuous activities such as workouts are not really necessary. Simple exercises such as brisk walking or light yoga activities should be enough to help to get better sleep at night.

3. Sleeping Plan. You know your body best. If you are having trouble sleeping, try to analyze what the problem may be. If it is something that you can handle easily, try to do the things that will help you overcome it. This can be accomplished by coming up with a personal sleeping plan that works for you. You can map out the activities that you are capable of doing and try to implement them during nighttime. If the specific plan doesn’t work today, try another set of sleeping plans the next night and then another one for next, next night. By doing this, you can discover the techniques that would work for you specifically.

If snoring is an issue, see a physician.

Part of my personal plan involves giving me permission to go to my bedroom at a specific time, not a minute before.

4. Sleep Hygiene. Create a good sleeping environment for yourself. If you want to get better sleep, the easiest way is to create a comfortable, nice, and cozy sleeping environment. The specifics of what is in that environment vary from person to person.

If you are having trouble sleeping and you have tried all the techniques available but those did not work, why not try re-arranging your bedroom. Figure out if there is something inside your bedroom that hinders your sleep. Check if your bed still suits the needs of your body and if not, try replacing it. Check if there are some things that catch your attention and make it hard for you to sleep, if there are, try removing them for a while until you are able to sleep better. To get better sleep, you can also try soundproofing your room to avoid unnecessary noises, adjusting the lights, painting the room a more soothing color so that you will be more comfortable, getting into a comfortable sleeping position and practicing deep breathing to relax your senses.

As I said above, I have had bouts of insomnia, and working on sleep hygiene was part of a step in the right direction. I don’t watch much television, but I no longer have a TV in m y bedroom. I also enjoy reading, but I do not read in my bedroom. The bed and the bedroom are for sleep!

5. Aids and Products. There are many products in the marketplace, and even medications that promise to help one get better sleep. But, these artificial substitutes often have a side effect. To avoid further complications, it is best to try sleeping techniques the natural way, initially. Some of these products may include routines that will not only help you get better sleep but help improve your overall health as well.

Conclusion

Proper sleep is important to our health and our ability to function well both physically and mentally. Develop a plan. The first thing that you could do is to develop and practice good sleep hygiene. These include eating the right foods that can help you sleep better and avoid those that affect sleeping patterns. It also includes having regular exercise and avoiding napping in the afternoon so you will sleep well at night.

The most important thing you must do is develop a routine. The specifics of the routine can be individualized.

Thoughts? Additions?

photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/lxn271/154311995/sizes/z/in/photostream/

How to Think Better in 7 Steps

Most people, especially those who are not as gifted as Albert Einstein, want boost their brain power, find ways to think better. People want to be able to think better, more clearly, more efficiently, and yes, more powerfully. If you are one of those people who want to improve your thinking, your method to accomplishing that may be just a few steps away. These seven steps can help you in your quest to keep your brain working extremely well.

Think Better

1. Engage in a regular exercise program or routine

While it is true that we are building our minds and not our muscles, the two are linked. Do some simple exercises like a simple walk or jog. It may not be as intense as a full-blown work-out, but it should be enough to keep your body physically fit and active.

A simple workout can trigger the release of a special neurochemicals known as endorphins. These chemicals are responsible for making us feel happy. By feeling happier, we can see a more positive effect on the brain. If you are a runner, then you have probably read that this is the chemical for the “runner’s high.” If you have every taken serious pain medications, you may notice that the name looks similar to Morphine.

2. Supplement your Diet

First, eat regular meals. Your body, including your brain requires fuel.

Natural supplements are believed by many to have a good effect on the brain. These supplements are not only felt keep your body healthier, they also maintain the fitness of your brain, resulting to better brain power!

Specific supplements to consider are Acetyl-L-carnitine, Co-enzyme Q10, vitamin B12 and antioxidants. I cannot overemphasize how important it is to consult your physician before beginning any new medications. Always take precautions!

3. Use it or lose it. Use your Brain

You know that if you are to exercise your body, so also should you be exercising your brain. Use your brain “muscles” more often – think and learn. You may read, talk with other people or even play educational games. Try new things. Any activity that can keep your brain working effectively may be tried out.

4. Play Games

Choose games that will definitely have a good effect on your brain. Refrain from playing games which are “no-brainer.” Most computer games are designed to exercise your brain, so all you have to do is to choose the games well. Gaming consoles are also following the fad into increasing brain function. So, do your part in boosting your brain power, play games with a purpose. Don’t forget to have some fun while you are playing as well.

5. Pursue an Educational Hobby

Choose a hobby that will give you some lessons at the end of the activity. This will not be such a difficult task since most of the time. We can learn something from any and every experience. Just be sure to do things that are not boring, monotonous or a “no-brainer.” Your hobby should be something that interests you and will help you learn new things every time you perform it. This way, you will be able to use some parts of your brain which have been left unused before.

6. Sleep Well

Sleep is the time when your body rebuilds and recharges itself. Most professionals believe that you should sleep for at least six hours a day. Outside of these hours, you should also try to take ten-minute power naps. After these refreshing sleeps and naps, you should feel energized and ready to take on more activities for the day. Do not deprive yourself of sleep, you mind will function better with more hours of sleep.

7. Relax

We live in a very complex society, so your brain can become exhausted just as your body does. You should take the time to relax and cleanse your mind of the worries and stresses that might overwhelm your thoughts. You may want to try out a spa or regular meditation to give your mind the break it requires from all the hassle. After the relaxation, you will feel that you are prepared to take on another complex day!

Be proactive in keeping your mind at least as fit as your body.

Think Better.

Thoughts?

photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/eaubscene/4277711430/sizes/z/in/photostream/

The Ideal Leader

Searching for the Ideal leader

When you are at work, do you ever get frustrated because things don’t seem to be happening the way they’re supposed to be? You see people milling around but not getting much accomplished. And in the daily hustle and bustle, do you ever begin to feel that your goals remain just that – goals. Well, perhaps it’s time for you to stand up and do something about it.

Most people are content just to stand around waiting for orders. And it isn’t hard to fall into a follow-the-leader mentality. But perhaps, somewhere deep inside of you, you feel the desire to make things happen – to be the head, not the tail. Then maybe you should figure out if leadership suits you.

It is an ongoing debate whether truly good leaders are made or born. Some people believe that great leaders can only be made, not born. Yes, it may be true that some people are born with natural talents. But, without practice, without drive, without enthusiasm, and without experience, there can be no opportunity to develop and grow in leadership.

And, remember that good leaders are always working and studying to improve their natural skills. This takes a certain level of commitment. It is no simple undertaking to work to constantly improve in whatever endeavor a person chooses.

Definition

We must first start by defining leadership. To be a leader, you must be able to influence others to accomplish a goal, or an objective. It means that you contribute to the organization and cohesion of your group.

The Ideal Leader

1. Not about Power. Contrary to what most people believe, leadership is not about power or entitlement. It is not about irritating people or driving them using fear. It is about encouraging others to work towards the goal of the organization. It is putting everyone on the same page and helping them see the big picture of the organization. You must be a leader, and not a boss or a manager. These are different jobs.

2. Getting Followers. To be a leader, you must have followers. How is this accomplished?

People follow others because they can see a clear sense of purpose in them. People will only follow you if they see that you know where you are going. There was once a bumper sticker that read, “Don’t follow me, I’m lost too?” The same holds true for leadership. If you do not know where you’re headed nor act as if you know, chances are people will not follow you.

3. Understanding and casting Vision. You must know and understand the vision of the organization. You must maintain a clear sense of the “chain of command”, knowing who the bosses are, who to talk to, the organization’s goals and objectives, and how the organization works is the only way to show others you know what you are doing.

Being a leader is not about what you force or coerce others to do. It’s about who you are, what you know, and what you actually do. You are a reflection of what you’re subordinates must be. You must model the behavior you would like to see in others.

4. Trust and relationships. Studies have shown that one of the other bases of good leadership is the trust and confidence others have in you. If they trust you they will stick with you through hell and high water- for you and for the organization.

I can use myself and my office staff as an example here. My staff is very loyal to me; we have been together for many years. When the economy took a downturn, they stuck it out with me. In return, I helped negotiate positions for each of them in the new, larger organization that recruited me. I could have taken a different road and spent all that time negotiating a higher salary for myself, or more money for the items that I owned. But I owed them much more than that. I am pleased to say that most of us are still together, learning and growing in the new environment. I am also pleased to say that some of our “flavor” has rubbed off on the organization.

Trust and confidence are built on good relationships, trustworthiness, high ethics, and integrity.

The way you deal with people, and the relationships that you build will lay the foundation for the strength of your group. The stronger your relationship, the stronger their trust and confidence is in your capabilities and the more you can rely on them.

Once you have their trust and confidence, you may now proceed to communicate the goals and objectives you plan to undertake together

5. Communication. Communication is a very important key to good leadership. Without this you cannot lead. The knowledge and technical expertise you have must be clearly conveyed to other people.

6. Judgment and Discernment. You also can not be a good leader and unless you have good judgment. You must be able to assess situations fairly, weigh the pros and cons of any decision, and actively seek out a solution.

It is this judgment that your colleagues will come to rely upon. Good decision-making is vital to the success of your organization.

7. No Lone Rangers. Leaders are not do-it-all super-heroes. You should not claim to know everything, and you should never rely upon your skills alone.

You should recognize and take advantage of the skills and talents of all the people around you. Only when you come to this realization will you be able to work as one cohesive unit, as a real team.

8. Hard work required. Remember being a leader takes a good deal of work and time. It is not learned overnight. Remember, also, that it is not about just you. It is about you and the people around you, the team, the company.

Conclusion

So, before you step up to that next level of leadership, the questions that you should be asking yourself are:

Do I have the drive and the desire to serve required of leaders?

Do you have the desire to work cooperatively with other people?

Then start now. Take your stand and begin your journey to becoming an ideal leader today.

Thoughts?

photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/frogdna/6242330732/sizes/z/in/photostream/ (yes, that’s optimus prime :))

How to Build Confidence

Obstacles as Gateways

Know Your Stress, and Defeat It

Stress is like an iceberg.

We can see one-eighth of it above,

but what about what’s below?

Unknown

Avoiding Stress

My 18 month old granddaughter has a new favorite expression. “Oh, maaaaan!” Which I can only guess means that things aren’t going as planned or expected in her little life. We each have our own favorite expression when it comes to feeling stressed out, and I wouldn’t bother naming all of those I know. But, for most this feeling of “stressed-ness” is usually related to how they work, or even sometimes to how they choose to relax. Haven’t you ever felt stressed when you know that you should be feeling well-relaxed or even bored? I know that I have.

Since avoiding stress altogether is impossible, it is important for us to find ways to minimize and prevent stressful incidents and decrease the negative reactions surrounding those moments. Whether we like to admit it or not, life is basically a routine we follow like brushing our teeth or eating breakfast every morning. So, planning and preparation go a long way in keeping our reactions, if not the actual stressors under control.

Here are a couple of techniques that work well for me. You can do a few of them in a longer span of time, but as they say– every minute counts.

Managing time

Time management skills can help you find more time to be with your family and friends and may even increase your performance and productivity. Getting these things under control will also help reduce your stress. We will spend more time in a future post discussing this further, but today, let’s look at some of the basic rules for managing your time well.

Save time by focusing and concentrating, delegating, and scheduling time for you. Make time for yourself. Make an appointment on your calendar/ day-timer, and keep it!
Keep a record of how you spend your time, including work, family, and leisure time. If you feel like you can’t get control of things, or you don’t know where the time leak is, do a time-study on yourself. You know what I’m going to say next… Write it down!
Prioritize your time by rating tasks by importance and urgency. Redirect and refocus your time and energy to those activities that are important and meaningful to you.
Manage your commitments by not over- or under-committing. Don’t commit to what is not important to you. Learn to say, “No” more often.
Deal with your own procrastination by using a day planner, breaking large projects into smaller tasks, and setting short-term goals and deadlines.
Examine your beliefs to reduce conflict between what you believe and what your life is like. Are you living out the beliefs you profess? Are the things you think you believe still important to you?

Develop healthy coping strategies

It is important that you identify and stick to your coping strategies. One way to do this is by reviewing and writing about a stressful event, your reaction to it, and how you coped. With this information, you can now visualize what happened clearly and work to change unhealthy coping strategies into healthier ones; strategies that help you focus on the positive and what you can change or control in your life.

What can you control? Two things.

There are two things in life that we have absolute control over. Well three if you count what you’re going to wear for the day. But I digress…

First, you have absolute control over how you will choose to react to things. If you do not feel that you own that, then you have given all of your power away to others to control you and use you as they see fit.

Secondly, you have absolute control over how you treat other people. You have no control over how others may feel about you. We do have some control over what you will tolerate in how you allow other people to treat you. But you do have control over what you will choose to do about it! Now, granted, this will take some initial work on managing your own expectations, of both people and life in general.

Lifestyle

There are some behaviors and lifestyle that people engage in that can have a definite effect on their stress levels. Sometimes they may not cause the stress directly, but they can interfere with the ways that your body seeks relief from the stress and the stressor.

Basic things to do to get some balance back into your life:

Try to achieve some kind of balance in your personal, work, and family needs and obligations
Develop and own your sense of purpose in life.
Get enough sleep, since your body recovers from the stresses of the day while you are sleeping.
Eat a balanced diet for a nutritional defense against stress.
Get moderate exercise throughout the week; even if it’s just a walk.
Limit your consumption of alcohol. If you find that you can’t cut back, then time management is not your biggest issue.
Don’t smoke. I’m an ex-smoker, having stopped over 25 years, so I know that this is not easy. But it is the right thing and the best thing to do for your own health, and for those around you.

Social support

Social support plays a major role in how we experience and deal with stress. Social support is the positive support you receive from family, friends, and the community. It is the knowledge and comfort that you are cared for, loved, esteemed, and most importantly, valued. More and more research is indicating that there is a strong relationship between social support and better mental and physical health.

Change your thinking

When an event triggers negative thoughts, you may experience fear, uneasiness, insecurity, anxiety, depression, rage, guilt, or a sense of worthlessness or powerlessness. These emotions trigger stress in the body, just as an actual threat would. Dealing with your negative thoughts and how you see things, your perspective, can help reduce stress.

Thought-stopping helps you stop a negative thought to help eliminate stress. Put a full-stop on the negative thoughts as soon as they start to blossom.
Examine the irrational or bizarre thoughts. Yes, everyone has them. This helps you avoid exaggerating the negative thought, anticipating the absolute worst, interpreting an event incorrectly, or flat-out overreacting.
Problem solving will help you identify all of the aspects of a stressful event and find specific, and sometimes unique ways of dealing with it.
Changing up your communication style helps you communicate in a way that makes your views known without making others feel put down, hostile, or intimidated. This reduces the stress that comes from poor communication. We have recently had a series on communication. Communication is an art. Learn it!

Whatever kind of job you have, stress is an unwanted visitor you should love to boot out of your home and life, ASAP!!!

Stay alert, stay prepared, improve your communication, and be realistic in your expectations and your interpretations.

Thoughts?

Think Differently–> Be Different