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Musings + Affirmations: I have a giving and generous spirit.

Giving frees us from the familiar territory of our own needs

by opening our mind to the unexplained worlds

occupied by the needs of others.

Affirmation: I have a giving spirit.

I believe that I have been created to help others by giving my time, thoughts and worldly possessions. I give naturally and without reservations because I know that it is my calling.

I feel a sense of accomplishment when others are grateful for what they receive from me. Even when the blessings of my kindness go unrecognized, I still feel fulfilled because I know that I am doing the work I am meant to do.

The more I give, the more is restored to me. My blessings are insurmountable and always forthcoming. I cannot even count the ways I am blessed, they are too numerous. I know that my giving spirit manifests blessing into my life.

My spirit is uplifted when I am able to help others. Whether they need a kind word, listening ear, or financial assistance, I make myself available to give as I am able.

Today, I reinforce my commitment to giving selflessly.

I receive tremendous joy and rich satisfaction when I am able to share my blessings with others. I know that each instance in which I choose to share kindness results in the world being just a little brighter.

Homework/ Self-Reflective Questions/ Journal Prompts:

1. How do I react when others who are able to give choose to withhold selfishly?

2. Do I show gratitude when I am the recipient of kind thoughts, words, or other blessings?

3. Do I recognize that even the smallest positive gestures are blessings?

Have a totally awesome week!!

If you find this helpful, let me know in the comments. And of course share it.

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Success does not come…

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Beware of self-employment myths

self-employed

Your biggest break can come from never quitting.

Being at the right place at the right time

can only happen when

you keep moving toward the next opportunity.

Arthur Pine

Have you been dreaming about becoming self-employed, but feel that you do not have the money, the time, the knowledge, or the skills to get a business going? You have lots of company. Your concerns may well be unfounded, and grounded in some of the popular myths surrounding self-employment. As we recommend often, be sure to get the facts before you make big decisions that will affect your future.

Of course, the lure for anyone with an entrepreneurial spirit is that opportunity to increase your income and have a much more flexible schedule. These benefits are real possibilities when you are working for yourself. So let’s starting looking into a few of these myths to see them for what they really are.

1. Long hours

Self-employment means working long, hard hours. Many people who work for themselves do indeed work long hours, but this is often a conscious choice. They simply love what they are doing.

Some people begin their businesses to generate income after they have stopped working at their “regular” job. If you are able to succeed in a business that includes some passive, or recurring income, you won’t necessarily have to put in a lot of time working once you make the transition.

2. Less risky to work for…

Especially in our current economic times, employees get laid off all the time. And what do you do if you suddenly need to raise some extra cash quickly? That’s tough to do when you are working for someone else, and your income is fixed. Being self-employed may give you more a little more flexibility and control over your income and the assets of your business. Control helps to give you as sense of reduced risk.

3. All or none

Myth: Self-employment means putting all your eggs in one basket. If you are an working for someone else, how many people do you need to lose favor with in order to lose your whole paycheck? Usually just one. Either your boss or their boss. But, if you have a multiple customers or clients of your own, they would all have to fire you at pretty much the same time for your income source to dry up completely.

4. Its stressful

Myth: Self-employment equals stress. When you work for yourself, you can create the type of work environment you like, as long as you aren’t driving off your customers with your choices. You will feel a greater sense of stability over the long-term, and you have a little (or a lot) more control over your hours.

Of course, you can also choose a business that is inherently stressful. But, generally speaking, you can make it whatever you want it to be. You can make and tolerate the stress level that you find most acceptable.

5. Loneliness…

Myth: Being self-employed is lonely. First, I have an issue with the way in which people tend to use the word. Not everyone who is alone, works alone, lives alone is lonely. There is a world of difference between being alone and being lonely. But I digress…

Working for yourself can be a much more sociable lifestyle, if that is what you choose. With greater flexibility, you can sometimes rearrange your schedule to suit the other parts of your life. Also, it is entirely possible to become friends with some of your clients. But, be very careful about setting clear boundaries between business and social.

When you are working for someone else, your office co-workers tend to become your social life. Over time that can get old, and wear thin.

6. Do-it-(all)-yourself

Myth: Self-employment means having to do everything yourself. While you are certainly the one who has to ensure that all things get done, that hardly means that you have to do physically do each thing yourself. Hire people to do parts of the work for you. Your time should be focused on growing and expanding the business, not doing the grunt work. There is a difference between working in your business and working on your business. Learn it early, or risk burn-out.

7. It too hard

Myth: Running your own business is complicated. Yes, there is quite a bit to know, but not impossible to learn, or have someone to help you with. There are books and experts available to help you along the way. Yes, there are some intricacies to learning about insurance, payroll, taxes, and bookkeeping, but they are not impossible to learn. It is just a new area to you.

8. I don’t have enough money

Myth: You can’t start a business without a lot of money. Whether this is true or not really depends on the business you plan to start. A website and hosting can cost you less than $100 a year. Your home phone or cell phone is already being paid for as part of your normal monthly expenses. There are some free (most of the time) services like Craigslist and Ebay.

There are a lot of relatively inexpensive ways to start and market your business. Drive around and be on the lookout for potential clients. Call on the phone. Where there is a will, there is almost always a way.

Don’t let a bunch of myths stop you from considering taking the leap to self-employment. You can even start a business on the side while you continue working at your current place of employment until your new business is bringing in enough money to transition from one to the other, full-time.

Now that you have a slightly different perspective, what;s next? Put some serious thought into this over the weekend, and begin to figure out a way to make your dreams a reality, rather than just a wish. There’s no time like the present to take control of your life.

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Choices + Decisions = Your Life

choices

There are three constants in life…

change, choice and principles.

Stephen Covey

Your life is all about the choices and decisions you make. Life is like a road. There are some long roads and some short ones. Some smooth or rocky roads, crooked or straight. In your life you will stumble onto many roads, and a few you will choose intentionally. One may lead to fame and/ or fortune, while another leads to isolation or poverty. How do you choose which ones to travel, and which ones to avoid? Well, the first thing to get rid of is any notions about guaranteed success or failure. There are no guarantees!

You may have some general idea where a particular road should lead you, but you do not really know for certain where you will end up. There are no guarantees. And there are often just too many variables, not to mention other people involved, to be able to have absolute control over any kind of ultimate outcome.

Likewise, everyone makes some wrong decisions. Wrong decisions are always at hindsight. If you had known that you were making a wrong decision, hopefully you would have chosen some other alternative. Perhaps not. It is only after you have made a decision and had time and space to reflect upon it can you gague its soundness. If the consequences or outcomes are good for you, then you have decided correctly. Otherwise, your decision was wrong, since you didn’t land where you expected or get what you desired.

So how do you choose?

Accept risk. Decide.

In light of the fact that life offers no guarantee and you would never know that your decision could be wrong until you have made it and committed to it, then you may as well accept the risk and decide. It is usually better to start in some direction, than to remain in limbo. While it is certainly true that one wrong turn may get you lost, it could also be that such a turn presents an opportunity for an adventure, leading to more open roads. Ultimately, it is all a matter of perspective. You always have the choice between being a lost traveler or an accidental tourist of your life. But, I am not suggesting that you throw caution to the wind, or make decisions haphazardly or unadvisedly. Taking risks is not about being careless or stupid. Taking a calculated risk involves more than throwing darts at a board. There are steps you need to take to make the best decision with the best information at hand.

Be informed!

You cannot really have any confidence in making your decision if you have no information about the choices. Just as any good reporter would tell you, ask the 5 W’s: what, who, when, where, and why. What is the situation? Who are the people involved in the opportunity? When did/ will this happen? Where is this heading? Why do you find yourself in this particular set of circumstances? These are just a few of the possible questions to ask to know more about your situation. This is important. Often, the reason for indecision is a lack of solid information about the situation.

What are the options?

What are the options provided by this situation? Sometimes the options are few, but sometimes they are too numerous to count. How do you usually feel or respond when a situation seems to offer no options? Once you get through squirming and whining about it, this is the time to put yours creative mind work. Entertain a very idea that pops into your mind. Sometimes the more outrageous an idea, or the bigger the stretch is for you, the better the result.

Look carefully at the pros and cons of every option.

Assess every option by looking at the advantages and disadvantages it offers you. In this way, you can gain more insights into the possible consequences of each of the options.

Trust yourself and make a step!

Now that you have reviewed, and assessed, and pontificated and separated the facts from the fallacies and the wheat from the chaff, the time has come to trust yourself. Remember that there are no guarantees in life, and wrong decisions are born in hindsight, which they say is 20-20.

So choose… decide… believe that you are choosing the best option at this point in time with the information you have available.

Now that you have made a decision, be ready to face its consequences: the good, bad and ugly. It may take you to a place of promise or problems. But the important thing is that you have chosen to live your life instead of remaining a passive bystander in your own life. Whether it is the right decision or not, only time can tell you for certain. But do not get mired down in regret, regardless of outcome.

Every single experience that you have in life is a golden opportunity to learn. And if you learn, there is always a chance that you can make better decisions in and for your future.

Thoughts?

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Getting beyond your fear of public speaking

fear public speaking

There are three things to aim at in public speaking:

first, to get into your subject,

then to get your subject into yourself, and lastly,

to get your subject into the heart of your audience

Alexander Gregg

When someone asks you to speak, do you look and/ or feel like that guy in the picture? Jerry Seinfeld has a bit about public speaking: “According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”

Fear of public speaking is one of the most common fears that people have. Although this task appears to be rather simple and straightforward to many, there are several factors that can come into play for those who are not comfortable with it. So before you blow it off realize that this is a legitimate type of fear for the people who have it.

People whose job requires that they speak in public are not immune to this. For some people, this fear is so great that it can cause a great deal of stress. This is an issue that must be attended to because people who experience fear of public speaking end up not delivering the quality speech they would otherwise be capable of. Indeed, this feeling of looming fear can cloud your ability to focus on the task at hand. After all, an effective public speech should produce a satisfying experience for both the speaker and for the audience.

This is not an easy fear to deal with, so let us look at the issue by trying to modify our perspectives and behavior toward this and hopefully be able to help you overcome this type of fear.

Public speaking is not supposed to be stressful

Fear of public speaking is quite common, and for some, is inherently stressful. Communicating with others is an activity that you share with other humans everyday. So, how and why is public speaking different? One way to challenge your perception of public speaking is to imagine this activity just like any other regular communication that you do everyday. The only difference with public speaking is that you are addressing more people than you normally would.

Acquiring this new perspective is not something that you can achieve overnight. However, just focusing on what you need to share during your public speaking and less on the actual delivery process will help to begin to lift the burden.

Let go of the idea of perfection

This is another insidious culprit in the mix of why people fear the idea of speaking in public. Sure, the idea of embarrassing yourself in front of many people is frightening. But the content of your speech is what is these people have come to hear and will remember. They won’t be focused on how flawlessly you delivered the speech. Once you are able to get rid of this anxiety about perfection, then you should be able to find the whole idea less frightening as you speak to larger groups.

Focus on the why

One of the most common “hidden” causes of the stress that is often associated with public speaking is related to the need to perform perfectly. This amounts to trying to impress the audience with your delivery. Focus instead on what value the audience is meant to get from your speech delivery, instead of trying to make them come away being impressed with how you did. Although delivery will boost your success at a public speaking, the most important thing to remember is that your primary goal is to communicate effectively. If this offers any consolation to you, most public speakers do not get 100% approval from their audience most of the time. And as you hone in on the why, the purpose of the speech, you can begin to…

Find your voice

Most of the time, when you are delivering a speech, or asked to do one, it is something that is important to you, something that you feel passionate about. Make the words yours. It is all too easy with internet access to pick up bits and pieces of other people’s speeches, instead of constructing your own. Getting ideas from other sources is a great thing. But you will have less fear and deliver better quality when what you have to say sounds like you, expresses the feelings in your heart and uses words from your own well-spring.

Becoming a Good Public Speaker

Now that you have can begin to recognize some of the major causes of your fear, you can move from working to overcome your fear, to doing a better, and eventually good job at your speech, as well.

• Study your subject matter thoroughly so you can be confident when the time comes for delivery.

• Polish your speaking skills. This will help you relay the information clearly and authoritatively.

• Prepare all of your presentation materials so you can deliver your speech in an organized fashion.

• Practice your delivery. Even the pros do this.

Next time you are called upon to deliver a speech, take your time and prepare. Get the words into your voice. Breathe, drink lots of water. And start walking through this one step at a time.

Thoughts?

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Keeping your motivation primed

motivation

Without inspiration the best powers of the mind remain dormant.

There is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks.

Johann Gottfried Von Herder

Everyone wants to do better; well, most people do. But staying motivated takes more that merely saying you favorite affirmations over and over, you must believe them. It means putting in the work and doing your due diligence, but you must also find ways to keep your motivation turned on, fired up, tuned into what you want to achieve. You have to help your mind want to stay motivated. Here are a few suggestions on how to do that:

1. Make it and life fun

When you are working on projects, either in your personal life or at work, you need to find some fun in the processes. Making things fun can help motivate yourself and others who may be having a tough time making it through. If you can find ways to make your work not feel like drudgery all the time, you will begin to enjoy it so much more. If you are the “boss” or the leader, and your employees or teammates are lacking in motivation, then it is up to you to help turn things into a more positive environment. This will help alleviate mounting issues of frustration that eventually lead to problems with hostility.

2. Communicate

Communication is an important way to remain motivated and to motivate other people. You need to be sure that all of the lines of communication are open and that there is never a disconnect. If there are potential brewing, make sure that people are keeping you and others apprised. The more aware and attuned you are to potential problems, the less severe the fallout will usually be. Awareness can also help you prevent some things from occurring also.

3. Stimulate

Stimulation is important. Be sure that you participate in something every day that is stimulating for you. Stimulation is good for the brain and body. If you do the same thing day in and day out, you will eventually become bored with it. This will ultimately make it difficult to concentrate on reaching your goal. Be sure you create a stimulating environment for yourself, even if it means just mixing things up a bit. Change some small things. This can help you become enthusiastic about what you are doing, and may present opportunities to change your perspective about the “big picture” of your life too.

4. Continual improvement, not perfection

Improvements are important. One of the things that you need to keep in your motivational toolkit is to expect some improvements as you go along. As you practice your motivational techniques you will need to find ways to improve your attitude and the way you do the things you do. If you are paying attention, you will be able to find specific areas where you can make small changes to make things better. As you notice these areas, you can create a focal point and set new goals too. This will help you keep motivated to work toward your larger and longer term goals.

Expecting improvement is an excellent way to avoid stagnation. When people improve or you improve, don’t be afraid to raise the bar a bit. This helps people excel even further beyond what you or others might have thought was possible.

5. Create

Feed your creativity muscle. When you work on your motivational techniques everyday be sure you are creative. Never be afraid to use your creative side. It is healthy to be creative. Encourage creativity in others as well. Many of the people you encounter every day have a lot that they can teach you when you show them you are interested in seeing them and their creative side.

Motivation takes some work. You must make conscious and conscientious efforts to keep yourself and those around you focused and on track. But remember, all work and no play makes you very dull… even to yourself. Have some fun. Mix things up a bit. Let your creativity flag fly every now and then

Thoughts?

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Influencing your mind to perform better

No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking.

Voltaire

How well do you think of yourself mentally? If you were to ask yourself if you thought you were intelligent, would you answer with a nod and a smile, or with an ashamed-faced “maybe”? In answering this question, you should know that there are a lot of things that you need to consider, and your IQ score is only one of them. And, the reality of the situation is that if you think well of yourself, your brain will actually perform better. Your outlook and perspective on things like this influences the performance of your mind. If you really believe that you are good enough, then your mind starts looking for new ways to perform to meet the level of your expectations.

Influential Psychology

You have probably heard stories hundreds of stories where someone, like Robert Kiyosaki, who never set foot in high school, was able to work his way up from rags to riches. He used his gut and determination to climb his way to the top, to reach his goals. During his childhood he was exposed to situations that showed him that he could become as rich as his friends, if he put in the work to accomplish it. So essentially it was his outlook that helped drive him forward to achieve what other had.

As the story goes, he never received any money from his rich friends, and he never received any real assistance as he worked his way up. But what he did get from his friends was his own level of expectation. If he had never met his rich friends, if he had never realized that it is possible to become richer, he would not have worked hard to get to where he is. He set a goal when he met them, and all he had to do was to continue to work hard to reach that goal. And so he did.

You see, the expectations that you have of yourself play a huge role in your life. It serves as your source of motivation. It makes you feel as if you have latched on to something possible, reachable. It stirs that something inside that keeps telling you that you “thing” is the reach of your grasp if you continue to work hard enough. This is the influence of psychology. Don’t you think that it is possible that just by thinking that it is possible for you to think harder and learn faster, your brain might just do the same perform at a new level?

Examine the evidence

After you have viewed yourself with new and better perspective, then the time has come for you to become more attentive to the things around you which can serve as an evidence that you are about to reach your goal. After you have done all of the affirmations, you will eventually need some hard proof. Take special note of your progress, regardless of whether it seems too small or too big. Focus on your developments. You will soon realize that the more you begin to appreciate your small developments, more of them would soon follow.

So, in looking at your own brain and its development, if you work at it, you can improve your mind’s performance. The improvements may not be as dramatic as you might like, but there will surely be some changes. Make note of these changes, and soon you will realize that the cumulative or additive effect of these small changes will amount to a big alteration to your mind’s functioning.

Think of yourself as better, your mind will soon live up to your expectations.

Thoughts?

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Musings + Affirmations: I go within to get in touch with my true self 5-5-13

The greatest regret is being what others would want you to be

rather than being yourself.

Shannon L. Alder

Affirmation: I go within and get in touch with my true self.

Deep inside, I know what is right for me. I am aware of where my values lie and which life choices make me the happiest. Therefore, I regularly go within to get in touch with my true self.

I trust that the answers I need are inside of me already. If I feel uncertain, I take a moment to breathe deeply and to evaluate the situation at hand in light of my highest vision of and for myself. The answer then becomes clear.

This self-searching is an ongoing practice for me. Because I stay in touch with myself, I increasingly find myself knowing intuitively what I need or what I need to do in any situation. I act with confidence, knowing that I am aligned with my highest priorities: my values.

I am thankful for the self-confidence that I gain when I act in full alignment with my highest vision of myself. I have character and integrity and their strength grows daily as I connect more and more with my innermost self.

Today, I make time to evaluate the extent to which my actions are aligned with my values.

I am thankful for every opportunity to create what I most want in my life. Because this is such a high priority for me, I regularly go within and get in touch with my true self.

Homework/ Self-Reflective Questions/ Journal Prompts:

1. In what situations do I feel that I act most clearly in accordance with my values?

2. In what circumstances do I feel challenged to act according to my beliefs?

3. What can I do to support positive action in these each of these situations?

Thoughts?

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If you don’t like it…

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Tai Chi: Good for the body, mind and spirit

tai chi

Tai chi does not mean oriental wisdom or something exotic.

It is the wisdom of your own senses, your own mind and body together

as one process.

Chungliang Al Huang

If you have been looking for some way to move back into getting a little more exercise, and you find that, like most of us, you are not presently interested in running the full or a half marathon, and you have no interest in lifting a few weights, I have a suggestion to offer you. While both of the exercises that I have mentioned are good for you, to begin a new routine, of any kind, you have got to get your head and heart in the game. You have to want to do it. This comes even before being committed to sticking with it. My suggestion is Tai Chi. But, like any other new undertaking, there are certain points to consider if you are really thinking of joining a group.

Basic Facts

Tai Chi and Tai Chi Chuan are the same. The Anglicized and Americanized spellings do not adequately reflect the CHINESE symbols, so there are a multitude of ways to spell the same thing. There may be an additional character or two on the end of the latter, but the meaning stands the same. Tai Chi is just the shorter version. Tai Chi Chuan means “Supreme Ultimate Fist”. It is derived from a series of kung fu techniques that can be applied as both a therapeutic activity and as a medium of self-defense.

No age or fitness requirements

Tai chi is a good activity for almost any age, teens to the 90s. This art is not common for children though, because the slow movements will probably just bore them to tears. But most likely, the classes that you look into will be targeted at people from the early twenties and so on. Men and women can both enroll in the same class. It is unusual to see a men-only or women-only class within a Tai Chi program. Generally, it is much more beneficial if men and women mix because of the energy this brings to the class.

Being physically fit is not a prerequisite, as it is in some sports. It is really okay that you may be you are stout, thin, overweight, etc. Even people who are wheelchair-bound can do modified movements of Tai Chi. There are even a video program series that is aimed at people with arthritis.

But you do have to be able to maintain a certain level of attentiveness. Like most other forms of exercise, even though this may not sound strenuous, it is advisable to check in with your physician if you are taking any medications to help maintain your current state of health. And if your doctor approves, tell your teacher about your issues so that they can adjust or restrict movements for you.

Is it a martial art, or not? Yes

Tai Chi is both an exercise and a martial art. There are some teachers who give out only the movements that are designed purely for health benefits. There are also a few instructors who focus on the self-defense aspects of the forms. So if you are thinking that you are the type who needs self defense along with your exercise, and you want the best of both worlds, Tai Chi may be a wise choice for you. If your focus is on self-defense solely, then Kung Fu or Tae Kwon Do may be more suited to your tastes.

Tai Chi is a form of an internal martial art that is characterized by soft movements and is a training that is meant to be a relaxing and a much slower speed than most other kinds of martial art.

Don’t go out to buy a new outfit

Many people stumble over getting ready for things and never actually do the activity. You know these people. They need the in fashion tennis outfit, the right bowling ball, new shoes and gloves for weight lifting, a brand new set of clubs. And these people will never move forward because they are focused on the look, rather than the activity. They get stuck in the minutiae, lost in the preparation. Hung up at “Fixin’ ta…”

No such set of excuses will save you from Tai Chi. If you decide to go to a Tai Chi class, you don’t have to shop around for cool clothes. Special clothing is not a requirement. You just have to wear something really comfortable like shoes (preferably soft, like sneakers) or socks work well, and clothing that will allow you to move freely while performing your every move. Do not wear jeans or any constrictive kind of clothing.

While doing the actual class, expect to do some Qigong. This is a form of breathing and meditation that is done by moving your body, or sometimes in a stationary state. Expect to do some “Push hands” or what is known as tui shou. This is an exercise that requires two persons who exchange energy by performing movements leveled with each other. You may also expect the use of weapons like swords, but certainly not at your first class.

Tai chi and Qigong are great, gentle exercises for your heart, mind and body. And, yes, before you ask, I do practice Tai chi, and have even taught a very short basic form. I am also a first degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do. And, I am old. 🙂 So, what’s your excuse?

Go out and try it for yourself.

Thoughts?

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