A lot of people are afraid to tell the truth, to say no.
That’s where toughness comes into play.
Toughness is not being a bully.
It’s having backbone.
Do you feel as if everyone is taking advantage of your good nature? Do you think they would still do it if you were a little more assertive? Becoming more assertive is a goal that many people want to achieve. They feel disrespected and want to be able to stand their ground without feelings of guilt or fear. Developing a backbone is not a simple or an easy task, but it can be accomplished if you remain committed to it. How to strengthen your assertiveness:
1. Stop apologizing for everything. Most people use the term “I’m sorry” far too much and often at inappropriate times. Give some serious thought to when you use those two simple words. Is it in a situation that you truly should be sorry for?
Once you are able to stop apologizing for every little thing, you will become more assertive. Learn to differentiate between when there truly is a need to apologize and when there is not.
2. Learn to speak up. Tell the people around you what you need. Assertiveness requires good communication skills. Be clear and firm about what you desire. Practice standing up for yourself by conveying your wants and desires to others.
Don’t go overboard, either. There is no need to be overly aggressive or nasty. Simply communicate that you have thoughts, feelings, opinions and needs, also. Once you begin to express these better, the people around you will learn how to appreciate and respect you more, too.
Voice your opinions and be proud of what you have to say. People will take notice and begin to listen more.
3. Stay committed and be patient. It is really great that you have decided to make some positive changes in your life. This is something that you should be proud of! Unfortunately though, like most other things in life, a complete transformation will not happen overnight. You have only begin your journey, and you must be willing to stick with it!
You will undoubtedly experience good and bad days, but you must not give up. As long as you remain committed to the process and patient with your transformation, you will succeed in what you are trying to accomplish.
Remember to focus on the big picture. Imagine your life further down the road and how much your life will improve once you are able to stand up for yourself.
4. Master your body language. Body language is extremely important. When you are trying to become more assertive, your body language must reflect this as well. What does that mean?
It means you stand up straight, speak up, make sure that your hands aren’t crossed over your chest. It means you maintain eye contact with the person you are speaking with.
If you look confident and assertive, people will perceive you as such. If you keep your head down, your eyes on the floor, have your hands across your chest, or mumble incoherently, you will have trouble convincing anyone of anything, and you will have a hard time trying to get your point across.
Being just a little more assertive can help you in your personal life, career, family, and many other areas. It won’t happen overnight. It takes work and practice. But as long as you make positive steps to grow your new backbone, it will be there before you know it!
Thoughts?
Photo Credit: Simone Lovati via Compfight cc
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