Many people wonder why some people are so influential, while others are not. It is not magic or mystical powers that make this possible, but simply that these people tend to exude more confidence in themselves when compared to those who are not. They have higher self-esteem and are able to adapt easily and well to the social environments they find themselves in.
Having influence over others is not rocket surgery; I know, I know, a combination of two metaphors. But, you may be surprised at how easy it is, to use Dale Carnegie‘s phrase, “to win friends and influence other people. ” Not just with the way that you can shape or mold their opinion, but also win them over with the very way you think.
1. Demonstrate respect. First, you should always respect other people’s opinions or thoughts. Avoid making rude or negative comments or telling people that they are just plain wrong. This creates an atmosphere of animosity and does not send the proper message to other people about how you carry yourself. It also makes you seem closed–minded about things, especially with the way other’s think.
Avoid getting into arguments, and if presented with a situation where you may be tempted to do so, do your best to resist it. Never, ever try to get into a debate. Leave debates to their proper forum, which is rarely in the middle of a conversation or a meeting. Debates are suited for the academic or political arena, but never in social conversations or interactions.
Always try to start conversations in a friendly and accommodating manner. This reduces some of the initial tension and resistance, and tends to create a good first impression that will usually be repaid in kind. It is important to initiate communication in a way that makes people feel comfortable with you. Never, ever regret admitting that you are wrong about something. Make every effort to show people that you can openly and freely admit your mistakes whenever you get the chance.
2. Seek first to understand. Whenever you plan to speak your mind or communicate with others, make it a point to get a feel for what others also think, so that you can more easily win them over with your opinion or frame of mind.
3. Shut up some time! This one is hard for you, I know. Let others do most of the talking. When it is your turn to speak, plan it carefully and always make it a point to listen carefully when others are speaking. This goes back to #1, show respect.
Always try to honestly and sincerely see things from the other person’s perspective, desires and ideas. Be sympathetic and sensitive to their ideas and points of view, as well.
Try to encourage others with nobler and sincere motives and ideas, but always aim for truthfulness and positive frame of mind.
Never be embarrassed to be dramatic, or even symbolic, about your ideas, because this will also help people become more comfortable and subscribe to your ideas. People get on board faster when they can see that there is going to be a benefit to them as well.
Always remember to be selfless, understanding, sympathetic or compassionate, rather than selfish, arrogant or inconsiderate.
4. Be yourself.
These are just a few of the ways you can influence people with your way of thinking.
What would you add to this short list?