Everyone wants to be successful. But it just doesn’t seem to come together for some people no matter what they seem to try. So, what is it that successful people seem to know that many people don’t seem to be aware of?
1. Knowing is NOT Doing! Knowing what to do is NOT the same as actually doing it. Most situations don’t allow for reflection and conscious decision-making while they are going on. For example, in the workplace things often happen so quickly that your automatic habits kick in. You do what you usually do without thinking about it. The bottom line is this, if you want to consistently do something different, the improved behavior that you have learned about and want to add to your arsenal, you have to first ingrain the “new thing” as a habit.
2. Repetition. It takes a lot of repetitions of a behavior before it becomes an ingrained habit. Let’s talk a little neuroscience. The reason you need so many repititions is because your usual habits are triggered by neural pathways, networks of brain cells related to the behavior, which have been stimulated to grow together each time you repeat the behavior. Once all the brain cells are connected, the habit becimes ingrained. Permanently!
3. No one is an overnight success. This success “thing” doesn’t happen quickly just because you are a highly motivated individual, even though that will help. It will take time, and it isn’t easy to change your way of doing something. Because the new way isn’t a habit yet, you will forget to do it, again and again. You will react to situations with your old habit. Or you will find that when you try to use your new habits in the early stages your efforts will feel unpracticed and awkward. This failure may discourage you. This disappointment is “the crux.” Things will get worse before they get better, and trust me, you will be tempted to give up on the new way and fall back on what feels comfortable.
4. It’s not a solo act. It is very hard to make changes all by yourself. It makes a big difference when you have people who care about your success and give you feedback, coaching, encouragement and accountability.
5. It takes an iron-will. Even if you successfully ingrain the new habit, without personal strength and people skills your new behavior pattern may not bring you success by itself. Adversity is one of the hard facts of life; and in nearly everything we do, we do it while interacting with people.
So if you really care about getting ahead and achieving your dream, you need to take these realities into serious consideration. Understand what personal growth really involves, and follow through. Build a network of people who can help you. And while you’re acquiring your new knowledge and skills related to your success, don’t forget to pay attention to your core strengths – personal strengths and people skills.
Thoughts?
Oh, the picture? 
Photo Credit: JD Hancock via Compfight cc
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I plan to share this with the students that I work with on a daily basis! Thanks!
Thanks, “DoD.” Happy to help. They are important lessons that we should be passing on to those we mentor and teach on a regular basis. They listen to not only the things that we model, but the words that we speak into their lives.
Martina, great post, as always. Re: #4 – you’re absolutely right. Can you elaborate on this further, though, for people like myself (and perhaps you?) who are “solopreneurs,” and will be at least for a while? What specific steps can they take to not feel so alone? I have some ideas/have been doing certain things, but would love to know your thoughts.
Thanks, Shonali. Yes, its tough, especially as a “solopreneur,” to not feel isolated. Its hard to scheduled time on and offline to get together with people, and learn from them, and occasionally lean on them. I have some ideas, and it sounds like a follow-up post is needed.
Without sounding like a PSA, working with a coach can really help minimize the feelings of isolation. I’ve been a solopreneur now for over 25 years, and it doesn’t get any “less lonely” over time. That’s why it’s vital to cultivate tools, tactics, behaviours and “safe havens” for those days when the light just doesn’t seem to shine.
I’ll look forward to your follow-up post Martina, but here are a few things that help:
Schedule time to brainstorm/share ideas and just chat with someone(s) you trust, whose opinion you value and you can turn to when you just need a little pick-me-up. (of course, you need to exercise caution and wisdom to know just who that person/those people are)
Be sure to recognize the things you accomplish, not just the things that still need to be done. It can get very lonely and blue when all you see is what remains to be done, because there’s no one around to recognize what you HAVE accomplished…except you:)
If you feel you’ve spent too many days as a lone wolf, feeling ever more isolated, break the cycle. Be sure to plan social time, exercise (which I know you and I both do Shonali:), a brisk walk…be sure to get out where there are people. Start conversations out and about…you’ll lift someone’s spirits and in turn, yours will be lifted as well.
Just a few thoughts, FWIW. CHeers! Kaarina
My additional thought is that persistence is key and to not give up at the first, second, OR third “setback.” Setbacks are usually opportunities in disguise…learn from them. By the fourth attempt, you’ll hit that home run!
We can only hope, Bruce. But at the very least we will learn something new or different each time we are up at bat. And that will serve us over the long haul.
Thanks for commenting.
You have to keep moving forward, especially when it is darkest out. There are many, many dark nights, too. If you don’t keep moving during this time, the dream fails.
Its a very important point, Geoff. You have to find a way to sustain your momentum, or something that keeps you grounded and the flicker of hope alive when things appear their worst.
If you feel that your dreams are truly worth it, then you will find a way to get back up, and back into the race.
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
Timely wise advice.
Nicely done!! I really appreciate #4. All too often people try to tackle things on their own but you need support from leaders and followers to learn and lean on
Thanks for the great post
ANY motivational article with picture of ultimate master of global domination and subliminal messages will leave me motivated, inspired, and persistent… For a long time.
Thank you
Great post!
It is said that a life without a dream is not worth living and dreaming is the fuel for life. But, I would like to know how best to deal with obstacles placed in front of you that keep you from fulfiulling your dream? How best to deal with the little voice in your head that looks at the obstacles and says, you are crazy, man? Yet, your heart knows, but your mind drives you crazy! Any tips on how to make the mind our servant again rather than run the show?
In deep appreciation,