Hope brightens my days. An affirmation…
Thanks for listening. I always hope it helps.
Chat soon…
Martina
For more information on having Dr McGowan speak at your event or group click here
Hope brightens my days. An affirmation…
Thanks for listening. I always hope it helps.
Chat soon…
Martina
“If you want others to be happy,
practice compassion.
If you want to be happy,
practice compassion.”
Dalai Lama
The holidays can be very challenging for many of us. We may have ongoing concerns about our weight, trepidation about reuniting with some of our family members, fears about work, anxieties about money, worries about life in general, and any number of other things. Life can be tough! The good news is that, even with all this stuff going on, we can keep our mental health strong and vibrant during the holiday season.
We can still find great joy during the busiest of seasons by actively making some positive choices. Joy comes from within, and taking control of our lives brings us both confidence and joy. During the holiday season, though, it can seem like our lives spin completely out of control so easily. There’s always too much to do, and people can be more demanding of our time and energy.
Use the following steps to help protect and preserve your mental health during the holidays:
The Busy Holiday Season is Only Temporary
The holidays require more of your time and effort, but the season will soon pass. Keep your head up when you’re doing all the extra things you have to do. Those extras will only be required for a few weeks. Things will get back to normal and life’s balance will be more easily restored.
If you’re having trouble coping with the holiday season, do the things you’d normally do when the holidays are over. That way, you’ll feel more focused and your routine will be more familiar to you.
For example, consider:
There are plenty of avenues we can choose to keep our mental health strong.
Your mental health and strength are very important to you and to the people who rely on you. Because of that, you have to try to keep yourself refreshed and energized, especially during the holiday season. And, give yourself the time and space to take a break from things when you need it.
Focusing on what matters to us and paying attention to what’s really important is essential to keeping ourselves mentally healthy.
“Take the first step.
You don’t have to see the whole stairway.
Just take the first step.”
Martin Luther King
What methods do employ to keep it all together?
Comment.
Share this post with someone who might benefit from it.
Subscribe.
Chat soon…
Martina
Today is a good day to start doing something!
Today is a good day to review some of the items we have discussed so far and see what “sticks. Thus far we’ve talked about:
It will take time and effort to begin to implement any of these things into your busy life.
Our goals are peace of mind and a richer life. Only you can define what that means specifically. Is it more money, more time with your family, doing more of the things you love, or a different job?
Do not try to incorporate all the ideas at once.
Choose something you’ve been wanting to chip away at for a while. Today is that day!!
“Problems arise in that one has to find a balance between what people need from you and what you need for yourself.”
Jessye Norman
Today, like any day, is a good day for some words of affirmation to help keep us on track.
You may listen to the audio here:
Or you may view it on YouTube.
Use it in whatever manner that works best for you. Here are a few suggestions…
Once again, here’s the link to today’s affirmation video, Today’s Affirmation: I Move Toward Balance.
All of life is a work in progress.
If this blog series has been of benefit to you, please comment, share, and subscribe.
Stay safe.
Chat soon…
Martina
Image by Quang Nguyen vinh from Pixabay
Stay curious, stay weird, stay kind
and don’t let anyone ever tell you
you aren’t smart or brave or worthy enough.
Alex Hirsch
Last week we started talking about feeling or thinking we are not smart enough to successfully follow our dreams, and what a hindrance that mindset is to our lives. Because of it, we may choose to avoid certain situations, or simply decide never to try something out.
The Limiting belief:
● “I am not smart enough.”
Empowering Mindset:
● “I have accomplished many things in my life already.”
● “If I wasn’t smart, I could not have gotten this far in life.”
● “I have an incredible ability to learn.”
● “I can do anything I set my mind to.”
This limiting belief is false on so many levels. First and foremost, we indeed are much smarter than we realize or give ourselves credit for.
Think of everything you have already accomplished in your life. If we weren’t smart, we wouldn’t have been able to achieve all that we have. Our past successes prove that we are smarter than we think we are. Luck can only carry us so far…
Second, we have an incredible ability to learn. Consider all the things we have learned to do over the course of our lives. Our brains are sponges, and we are able to learn almost anything we set our minds to. Even if we do not currently possess the knowledge to accomplish a particular task, that does not mean we can’t ever learn it.
Our new belief is that we are incredibly smart and are able to learn almost anything we set our minds to.
This simple shift changes the way we approach new tasks. Instead of fearing having to learn things, we eagerly anticipate novel challenges. Instead of doubting ourselves, we are confident in our ability to tackle any task. We know that we are smart and that no task is too complicated for us to learn, or figure out how to get help.
Action Steps
● Make a long list of things that you have accomplished in your life. Include little things, such as learning to ride a bike, and bigger things, such as learning about your current job.
● Any time you’re tempted to doubt your intelligence, go back to that list to remind yourself of how smart you really are and that you have the ability to learn anything you set your mind to.
Affirmation
I am highly intelligent and accomplished.
I have already achieved many things in my life, which proves my intelligence.
Whenever I need a clearer understanding of something, I have been able to learn it, grasping all the nuances of the subject.
I refuse to doubt my intelligence.
I know that I am smart enough.
I embrace the fact that I a smart and able to accomplish anything I set my mind to.
Chat soon.
Wherever you are, however you got there, if it’s good,
you’re meant to be there either because you earned it
or life led you there and
you were smart enough to hold on.
Kristen Ashley
In the last blog, we learned how to let others help us reach our goals faster and easier. But even with the help of others, we could be severely limiting ourselves if we continue to think that we are not smart enough.
This limiting mindset has the potential to keep us from trying most new things. We feel like we are not smart enough to achieve a particular task or goal. Like we don’t have the necessary intelligence to accomplish what we truly want to accomplish. Like we are lacking the needed knowledge to get something done.
Maybe this belief was instilled in you from a young age by an unkind adult. Maybe you struggled with particular tasks in school which made you assume that you just weren’t a smart person. Or maybe you heard your parents say this about themselves. This limiting belief is that we are not smart enough to do what we really want to do.
In the last blog, I related how my fourth-grade teacher lit a fire under me and got me onto an academic track and mindset. While this remained true throughout school, when the time came to apply for colleges, I fell back into that terrible way of thinking about myself. These days we call it impostor syndrome. Anyway, when it was time to submit college applications, I initially applied to small, local schools. I felt that not only did I not have the finances for larger, and more distant schools, but I lacked the intelligence to be successful. Fortunately, my guidance counselor and fate saw me differently.
This belief can keep us from even trying to do new things. We can feel so intimidated at the thought of trying to learn something new that we won’t even start. We may feel like our supposed lack of knowledge is a handicap and that if we were only smarter we could do what we wanted.
Now let’s rewrite this limiting belief with a set of empowering beliefs.
Limiting belief:
● “I’m not smart enough.”
Empowering Mindset:
● “I have accomplished many things in my life already.”
● “I have an incredible ability to learn.”
● “I can do anything I put my mind to.”
This limiting belief is false on so many levels. First and foremost, you truly are much smarter than you realize.
Next week, we will look more deeply into changing our mindest and pursuing our real dreams.
Chat soon.
Forgiving yourself, believing in yourself
and choosing to love yourself
are the best gifts one could receive.
Brittany Burgunder
In the last blog, we talked about how well we treat others, and how comparatively poorly we tend to treat ourselves.
We are quick to show compassion, forgive mistakes, and offer grace to others. But we do not treat ourselves in the same way.
For any number of reasons, we don’t believe that we deserve the same outpouring of love, compassion, grace, and understanding that we give to others.
Maybe we were told at a young age that we needed to be perfect, and we have incorporated this into how we try to live every aspect of our lives. And, if we are not perfect we feel like we need to punish ourselves.
This thinking limits us and makes us feel like we can never be or do enough. This is a chronically unhappy existence!!
Let’s revise this belief with a set of empowering beliefs.
Limiting Belief:
● “I don’t give myself the love, compassion, and understanding I give to others.”
Empowering Belief:
● “I am human and it’s okay for me to make mistakes.”
● “I deserve the same grace, compassion, and understanding that I freely offer others.”
● “I am patient and loving toward myself.”
● “I treat myself the same way that I treat others.”
It’s really important to rethink this limiting belief. If we don’t, we will always be unhappy, and miserable, and feel like we can never do enough.
Please understand that, just like everyone else, we are human. We make mistakes, and that’s okay. Like everyone else, we have off days, and that’s not a problem. There are times when we are not at our peak productivity or don’t accomplish as much, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
In other words, we are not perfect. And, we are not supposed to be.
Our new belief is that we deserve the same grace, compassion, love, and patience that we extend to others.
We are patient with others. Be patient with yourself.
We are loving toward others. Be loving toward yourself.
We have compassion and mercy for others, so have compassion and mercy for yourself.
Simply put, learn to stop being so hard on yourself!
You are human, and humans are not perfect.
You deserve kind treatment from yourself.
Action Steps
● The next time you are being hard on yourself, ask yourself this question: “How would I treat someone else who is in my shoes?” Extend that same loving, gracious treatment toward yourself.
Apply the Golden Rule to yourself.
Get into a habit of treating yourself just like anybody else.
Affirmation
I am human, just like everyone else.
It is okay for me to struggle and make mistakes.
When that happens, I deserve the same compassion and grace that I offer others.
I refuse to hold myself to a standard that I avoid holding others to.
I love myself, even when things turn out imperfectly.
I treat myself as I treat others – with love, compassion, and patience.
Make it a habit: Think better of yourself!!
Chat soon.
In our last post, we talked about how all the resources we need to reach our goals are already available to us. Today, we will discover that we do not need gigantic wins to reach our goals – small successes get us there as well. How easy it always is for us to criticize ourselves for a lack of major progress on our goals. We feel that if we are not making significant progress every single day, then we are at risk of becoming a failure. Maybe we have a list of goals that we want to achieve and that list haunts us. It can serve as a painful reminder of all that we have not achieved. So, every day we feel like we have failed. We are inundated with articles and nudges that conspire to make us feel like the truly productive people in the world succeed by making leaps and bounds of progress on a daily and consistent basis. Our limiting belief is that our lack of major progress on our goals means that we have failed. We often fall into a funk, continually criticizing and berating ourselves for not achieving more, and not achieving it faster. For not being more successful. This thinking can leave us feeling frustrated with ourselves and feel like throwing in the towel. Now let’s rethink and rewrite this limiting belief into a set of empowering beliefs. Limiting Belief: ● “Lack of major progress equates with failure.” More Empowering Beliefs: ● “Small progress is a win.” ● “Small successes add up to progress over time.” ● “I celebrate my victories no matter their size.” ● “Consistency is what matters!” We will pick up on this empowered thinking and ways to incorporate it into a healthier mindset next week. Chat soon.It is better to take many small steps in the right direction
than to make a great leap forward only to stumble backward.
Louis Sachar
Never surrender your hopes and dreams to the fateful limitations others have placed on their own lives.
The vision of your true destiny does not reside within the blinkered outlook of the naysayers and the doom prophets.
Judge not by their words, but accept advice based on the evidence of actual results.
Do not be surprised should you find a complete absence of anything mystical or miraculous in the manifested reality of those who are so eager to advise you.
Friends and family who suffer the lack of abundance, joy, love, fulfillment and prosperity in their own lives really have no business imposing their self-limiting beliefs on your reality experience.
Anthon St. Maarten
Today we take the next step from the last blog post, from the mindset that either we do not have enough in terms of resources or that we ourselves are not enough to pursue our dreams and desires. Sometimes these thoughts are purely our own. Too often these limitations come from often well-meaning family and friends, worm their way into our subconscious, and we treat them as gospel. Stop!
Let us switch to more empowering thinking:
● “The universe is full of abundant resources.”
● “There is more than enough to go around.”
● “I can get whatever I need to accomplish my wildest dreams.”
● “I can create more of what I focus on.”
The reality is that we live in an abundant universe that has more than enough for everyone. There is no limit to the resources available if we simply start looking for them and opening ourselves to receive them.
This mindset is called an “abundance” mindset. Instead of believing that there are too few resources available, we choose to view the world as a place that has more than enough to go around. Instead of dreaming small with limited thinking, we should dream big because we know that all that we need is available.
Our new belief is that the universe has everything we need in order to pursue our biggest dreams and goals.
If we want to receive more from the universe, we have to focus on what we want to receive, make the appropriate changes in ourselves and in our lives, and, believe that we are capable of getting it. Faith is the key!
Action Steps:
When I was much younger, I hear a quote that has stuck with me all my life:
In order to accomplish something different,
you must be willing to do something different.
That is with repeating. Nothing will change in our lives without taking action!
● Journal: Make a list of all the specific things you need to receive in order achieve your biggest hopes and dreams.
● Instead of focusing on what you do not have, fix all your attention on what you want to receive. You create more of what you focus on.
Affirmation
The universe is abundant. I believe there is more than enough for everyone, and that resources are plentiful.
The people and resources I need to achieve my goals come my way when I need them, and I gratefully and wholeheartedly open myself up to receive them.
I dream big, abundant dreams.
With eager anticipation, I look forward to the future, knowing that it is good and exciting.
Let me know if this series is helpful to you. And, if you have additional ideas about improving or stories of your success in changing your mindset, please share them in the comments.
Chat soon.
Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way,
ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future.
Deepak Chopra
In the last set of blogs, we talked about how our failures do not make the determination that we will fail now or in the future. In fact, failures have the potential to bring us closer to success! This post is tied closely to the same idea – that what happened in our past cannot accurately predict our future. That is, of course, unless we give up and allow it to.
If we think that our past predicts our future, this limiting threshold can become particularly pernicious. It has us assume that past events will influence future events only in negative ways. That our past actions have dominance over our present and future actions. That our past holds us hostage for eternity!
Maybe, like me, you have made mistakes in the past and have convinced yourself that those mistakes are going to keep you from achieving the success you desire. Maybe you have tried some things in the past that simply haven’t worked out. Maybe you don’t have a good track record in a particular area.
We can begin to believe that our past actions restrict our options for the future, or that past efforts will interfere with or derail our future efforts.
This kind of thinking gives too much power to our past, keeps us in its grips, and arrests our ability to grow, learn and change!
That means that we don’t feel like we can try anything new. We feel like your past is holding us back. Keeping us from your true potential. Standing in the way of your success.
Rewriting Our Limited Belief
Let’s revise the limiting belief into a set of more empowering beliefs.
Limiting Belief:
● “My past will always keep me from creating a brighter future.”
Empowering Beliefs:
● “My past cannot determine what I achieve in the future.”
● “My past is one of my greatest assets.”
● “Lessons from the past make me stronger, wiser.”
● “I can avoid making the same mistakes in the future by looking to the past.”
● “I can learn from my past and adapt and change.”
To rewrite this limiting belief, it is essential that we understand that our past actions have little bearing on our future. This is not to say that the past does not matter. But our past cannot determine what we can or cannot achieve in the future.
We will chat more next week about how to change our thinking.
You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone.
Close the door on the past.
You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on them.
You don’t let them have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.
Johnny Cash
We will continue to build on last week’s post, where we talked about letting the past rule our present and future choices. I shared a story about how a misstep at age 7 could have changed the whole trajectory of my life if we, my mother and I, had let it. Certainly, I would like to think I would have made the best of that alternative life, but I am not certain I would have found it as satisfying or fulfilling. I know I would not have traveled as much, moved as often, nor would I have met the many marvelous people who later became friends. It would have been a potentially smaller life.
We have the opportunity, almost daily, at home, and certainly at work to look at new and different directions. We shortchange ourselves if our first thoughts are how poorly we have done in the past, rather than seeing the opportunities before us. Opportunities to learn, to do, to expand our lives and our horizons.
I am not a Pollyanna-type thinker. So no, I am not saying that everything we touch will not work out. But we never know until we try. And I can guarantee that I will learn something every time I step out of my comfort zone.
The simple truth is that our past failures do not define our current endeavors. Just because we have failed in the past does not mean that we will fail in the future.
Past failures can prove to be an advantage! If nothing else, we discover one way that will not work for us, which means we can avoid that step going forward the next time.
I am sure you have heard the story about Thomas Edison who struggled for years to figure out how to invent a functioning lightbulb. When asked how he kept going despite so much “failure,” he said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” It’s important to adopt a similar belief. You haven’t failed in the past.
I affirm that each past failure has brought me one step closer to success. I am closer to success now than I ever have been in the past.
I refuse to let my past failures keep me from pursuing what really matters to me.
I am committed to my success, regardless of the past.
In the next blog, we’ll discover how we can learn from our past and look forward to a bright future.
Chat soon.