Most of us feel pretty okay about ourselves most of the time. This week, we have talked about the extremes ways in which we may view ourselves, low self-esteem and hubris. But I find that most people have a reasonable estimation of themselves and their talents.
Most of the time, we are successful at many of the things we try. So, we start to feel that we can, or should be successful at everything. Sadly, this is not the way the real world works. And, if we get too perfectionistic, and too caught up in being right all the time, we are crushed when we do not find success.
We frequently turn our missteps, and yes, mistakes, into a vicious cycle of denigration. We heap all sorts of abuse upon ourselves. And, suddenly, we turn from our positive self talk and attitude to negativity. Now, we can claim that we have never been right, we never understood, and how could we have expected more from ourselves.
Keep in mind that this is a temporary set-back, not a permanent condition. Our whole existence has not been turned into nothingness. Yes, we have accomplished much, and impacted the lives of people around us; usually positively. So we have to develop ways of breaking the downward spiral, or at least, cutting it short. We can, and will learn. And , we will blossom again.
How do we stop ourselves from imploding?
Take a deep breath, or three…
Step back or step away.
Breath some more.
Do whatever calms your spirit. Meditate, dance, take a walk outside, soak in a tub, breathe into a paper bag, do nothing. Whatever it takes to break your focus on negativity. Whatever it takes to change your mood and mode of thinking. Whatever it takes to help you switch gears…. Do that!
Breathe some more.
Smile (or laugh) at yourself.
Reassess your goals.
Figure out what you can do.
If you can’t do it all, pass it on.
And, move on with your positive life.
You are not the sum total of your mistakes, or goof-ups.
You are a great deal more.