Yesterday we talked a little about the expectation of perfection holding us its grips. Expectations from others, but more importantly, the pressure we place on ourselves.
Have you ever felt overwhelmed by your own expectations about some upcoming event? Like an office party? Family holiday? Does the prospect of yet, another social gathering make you feel nauseous? Deep down inside, you know that you would like to go to some of these social events. But, most often, if you can manage it, you choose not to go. And, you make that choice because you get very anxious about meeting new people. New situations along with the thought of meeting new people, is enough to paralyze you. And then, add a bit of a crowd, with lots of people talking at once, and the whole thing seems out of reach.
You sit down and roll it over and over and over in your mind. What will I have to say? Will I do the right things? Pick up the right fork? Will the room fall silent, when I screw up, with everyone staring at me? Do I even fit in with these folks? They can see the fear in my blank stare, and the beads of sweat starting to form. They will know that I do not belong! I just cannot win in this situation. So, true to form, you choose to skip all of that and stay home. You feel safe at home. In fact, home is one of the few place you do feel 100% safe and comfortable.
But, you also know that all these feelings and scenarios that you have conjured up are irrational. They have no basis in fact. And you are now feeling frustrated, because you can’t get them under control.
If any of this seems familiar to you, then it proves once again, that being smart does not necessarily make it easier to stop our negative feelings or make them simpler to deal with.
The first piece of good news is that you are not alone!
Your Thoughts Rule You
How you think and feel about yourself can often the key difference between happiness and success, or frustration and failure. We are each a product of our own thinking. So every thought we think has an impact on us. We respond to our negative thoughts, just like we do to our positive thoughts.
And, unless we put some effort into changing things, our subconscious minds will continue to flood our bodies with a barrage of negative messages and recordings. If, like most of us, you have stumbled in the past, your memories can latch on to this negative programming and keep us stuck there… in the past.
Life can begin to take a positive turn when we begin to believe in ourselves and in our own abilities.
You will feel more respected. This will give you an extra boost to increase your motivation and your enthusiasm for life will increase noticeably.
But, wishing and hoping just won’t cut it…
To change, we must act!!!
Stirring up the passions and having a desire to make changes is a good thing. Taking action to start something is even better.
If you have tried before and failed, get a support structure. Why? This will help you keep your resolve, help you keep your thought processes in check and focused on your goals, and help keep you accountable.
Ultimately, only you can make the changes you think are needed. No one else can get inside of your head to doit for you. Friends, counselor, mentors, guides and support teams can certainly help us, but even with these in place, we will still have to do it for yourself.
Make a plan!
Once you have made an adequate and realistic assessment of where you are, and where you want to go, you need to map out the steps to get there.
You have what you need to succeed within you. Never doubt that! You will achieve success if you make sure that you put an effective support system and a realistic plan into place as soon as possible.