Loving ourselves often sounds selfish, or foolish, or childish. It is not something that most of us are taught to do naturally. The media moguls have pulled us into objectified standards of beauty and worth. And, we have bought it all, hook, line and sinker. So, we run out and buy their stuff. But, we don’t end up feeling any better, or any prettier. We don’t feel a single step closer to the promised nirvana. And, the shiny object, we just had to have a few days ago, doesn’t seem shiny for very long. Then we feel defeated, until we get caught up in the next whirlwind, the next frenzy, the newer Apple watch (didn’t the new one just come out last year?), the new thin Mac, or whatever lands in our radar. And the vicious cycle starts all over again. Stop!
Your beauty, worth and love, as with many of the important markers of true success, already lie with you. Without spending much money at all. We are whole creatures, but our natural curiosity makes us want to pick things apart, and see what makes them work. But, we don’t always remember to put the pieces back together again. This includes ourselves. We are buoyed by the good we see in ourselves, but we are defeated by what we have valued as the less-than-good. We tell ourselves that we love ourselves, except for _____. Except for my weight, my hair, my lack of smarts, a nicer house, having more money, better clothes… and on and on the litany goes. Learning to love ourselves requires that we love the whole package. No matter what others tell us, or have told us. Our sadness gives balance and life to our joy. The things we do well, so outnumber the things we focus on doing poorly. But it is you! It is inside your head.
Make Different Choices
Our lives are not locked into the dreary monotony of every day being the same, every day doing the same stuff, every day feeling the same, until it ends. We can choose to make changes. Work on what needs to be worked on, or get someone else to help you. If necessary, hire or barter it out. For me this is housekeeping. Celebrate what makes your heart soar and find ways of doing those things more often. You are lovable in every aspect. Maybe not always likable, but always, definitely lovable. But first, you must believe it. Because:
“You cannot choose to be it,
unless you choose to believe it!”
(Martina McGowan, MD)