I care for myself.
The more solitary, the more friendless,
the more unseasoned I am,
the more I will respect myself.
When you believe in yourself and you are certain that you will succeed at something, you have self-confidence. Throughout life, our levels of self-confidence may fluctuate a bit when we are faced with challenging situations. But, guess what? We alone hold the key to building our self-confidence.
If you find that you are feeling a little less self-assured than you think you should be, today, you can step up and take action to shore yourself back up.
I am naturally shy. I have to work hard at appearing outgoing before I can get my bearings in almost ant situation. Then, once I am all-in, that little girl that lives in the back of my mind asks what I was waiting for.
Go back to day one of the series where we talked about taking full, absolute, personal responsibility for the lives we wish to build.
Here are your action steps for this week. You can choose to attack them one at a time, or in groups. But, you must learn to not only feel comfortable in your own skin, you must own who you are. You must define yourself.
1. Get a good mentor, counselor or coach. If you want to believe in yourself, seek out someone who you think exhibits bold, but not overly brash, self-confidence. Consider this person to be your model of self-confidence. When selecting a mentor, ask yourself a few questions.
- Does she stand straight and strong?
- Is he relaxed and open to others?
- Does she have a good sense of humor and is able to look people straight in the eye when she speaks with them. Or perhaps he models other characteristics you admire. Having someone who you can emulate is incredibly inspiring starting point. Modeling your mentor enhances your self-confidence.
2. Identify the things you are doing right in your life. Yeah, its easy for us to pick out all the things we think we stink at, and have screwed up along the way, but what about all those things you do well? Every person excels at some tasks or activities. Figure out what those things are for you.
- Here it comes…. Make a list of what you believe you are good at.
- Consider this: No one in the world has the same unique qualities and strengths that you do or the way in which you do them.
- What are you doing right? If you know the answer to this, your self-confidence will blossom!
3. Pretend that you are already self-confident. You should have little trouble identifying times or situations in your past when you did not feel particularly positive. Think about how you handled them. Remind yourself of how you came through to the other side. This, as I have mentioned before, was how I handled transitioning from Jr. to Sr. High School, and from High school to College. New people, new bullies, new social rankings. And they were times I had to take advantage of showing who I was, and what I was made of.
- On your good days, you put your chin up and charge forward into the situation at hand. You take a deep breath and pretended with all you were worth that you believed you could do it. And chances are, you succeeded!
- Moving on in our example, on those days that you feel the least self-confident, picture your mentor, or maybe your favorite super-hero, and believe that you are just as confident as he or she is.
- Believe in yourself. Have faith that you will make it through.
4. Make a list of your strong points. What character traits do you have to offer that are of great benefit to you or others?
- Are you patient, kind or caring?
- Identify personality characteristics that you are proud of. Ponder your strong points.
- Knowing yourself will enhance your self-confidence.
5. In your daily life, take note when you do something well. Perhaps you just cleaned up your car and it looks awesome. Maybe you completed a report and it is just the best thing you have ever written.
- Recognize each day the times when you excel. Perhaps you helped your child through a difficult homework assignment, or made them their favorite dessert without being asked.
- Little efforts add up to build your self-confidence.
6. Celebrate your progress.
- Take notice of your good fortune.
- When you have met or surpassed your goals, celebrate it!
- Rejoice in your own successes.
- Congratulate yourself as you build the self-confidence you seek.
7. Choose optimism as a daily approach to everything.
- Strive to be positive in life’s journey. It may sound trite, but it is nonetheless the truth… The Journey Is The Thing!
- When you make the decision to find the best in whatever life brings you, your self-confidence will soar.
Strengthening your self-confidence has always been within your reach. Getting a mentor, understanding your strong points, and celebrating the attainment of your goals are just a few of the strategies that help you build up your self-confidence.
Promise yourself today that you will strive to strengthen your belief in yourself.
You have a legitimate right to live your life with great self-esteem.
Why not exercise that right?