Chances are good that you believe in others more a great deal more than you believe in yourself. You are probably among the first to cheer a friend on because you know that they have what it takes. But when it comes to encouraging yourself, you to shy away due to self-doubt.
This is hardly a fair way to treat yourself, cheating yourself out of opportunities. Having low self-confidence can cause you to lose out on awesome experiences. And you certainly do not want that, do you?
Today is a great time to start focusing on yourself and work on boosting your confidence.
1. Stop hesitating. Self-doubt is often developed out of hesitation. Do you take a long time to act on an impulse? Sounds funny, I know. If you see an opportunity, does it take you a while to go after it? The longer you take to pursue something, the more reasons you will dredge up justifying your unsuitability for the opportunity.
- Avoid “sleeping on it” if you can actually make the decision right away. For a self-doubter, delaying a response usually means losing the confidence to go after the opportunity.
- Do you think you are not ideal for a new role you have been offered at work? Forget about that for a minute. Focus on the fact that you were actually offered the job for a reason!
2. Challenge your negative thinking. It is easy to diminish self-confidence by harboring negative thoughts. But, before you accept negative thoughts about yourself as a reality, challenge your thinking.
- Instead of accepting that you are not good enough, take a moment to think about the facts. Have there been instances which support this negative thinking? If the answer is yes, then remind yourself of your many positive experiences as well.
- Beware of those thought patterns that can eat away at your self-esteem. Avoid looking at life as “black or white” and live in the gray area sometimes. You may not have one trait or another, but you could have the perfect combination of what you need for your life!
- Always be sure to differentiate between feelings and facts. Just because something makes you feel a particular way does not mean that there is any fact in it.
3. Be kinder to yourself. As someone who rarely displays self-confidence, you probably give yourself a hard time and consider yourself inadequate or ill-equipped. But when was the last time you were actually kind to yourself?
- Spend some time each day highlighting your positive traits. Remind yourself what makes you beautiful inside and out.
- Celebrate the small successes to help remind yourself that you’re actually more amazing than you give yourself credit for.
- Try spending some time with positive people. Their energy rubs off quite easily!
4. Learn to listen to and accept compliments. Most of the time when people say nice things about you, they mean it! Take the time to really hear what positive things are being said about you. Absorb the thought and believe them!
- If someone says you’re beautiful, believe them!
- Spend some time listening to the kind things said by others. And remember to say thanks each time. It helps to cement the positive thoughts in your mind.
Early in grade school, I began to languish. The assignments were un-motivating and most of my teachers had been uninspiring. That is until I met my fourth grade teacher. She stopped me one day as class was letting out and said a few worlds that changed my world. She said, “You know you’re smarter than this.”
I had heard it before, but that day they cemented. Yes, I was smarter than I was showing on paper, and I could fix that. Yes, I had screwed up some second grade testing that precluded taking language in Jr High School, but I knew I could do it, and lobbied my mother. I had no money and no connections to help me get to college, let alone medical school. But, I had every confidence in myself that I could do these things.
It is the belief we have in ourselves, along with our why, that propels us to be better than we often see ourselves.
Affirmation: I believe in myself and in my abilities.
1. How have I allowed my fears to hold me back from achieving my dreams?
2. What am I afraid of doing today?
3. Is that fear rational or not?
4. What can I do today to proactively and productively overcome this fear?