Introduction of Series
The name of this series is “Why Not?!” I could have thrown in a few more expletives, but you get the drift.
Year after year we work away at things, and then mysteriously find that the end of another year has come upon us, and we haven’t gotten our stuff done. At least, not all the stuff we would have liked. And, we find that the “system” we choose doesn’t seem to make a lot of difference. It doesn’t seem to matter if its Resolutions, 3 Words, 1 Word or whatever. Somewhere along the journey we lose our focus. This time, my friend, we are going to rise this year-end/ -beginning tide together, and we will all do better. Get your journal. Buckle up, and let’s boogie.
The above scenario comes with its fair share of emotional baggage. So, step one is to forgive yourself.
It is often difficult to forgive your own missteps. You feel really rotten when you have let yourself or someone you care about down. But soon or late, you have to allow the sun to shine into your life again. Has it been challenging to do that at times?
Let us start this process by forgiving ourselves and moving on with your life:
1. Confront your mistake. In every single circumstances, take full responsibility for your error. Come face to face with it and acknowledge where you stumbled. As painful as it may be at first, this is the first step to forgiving yourself and getting on.
- It is sometimes helpful to stand in front of a mirror and say aloud what you did. It connects you with the action. It also helps you realize that it is okay to make mistakes.
- Therapy can help if the first option does not do the trick. Talking to someone else may help you release feelings that are tied down inside.
2. Analyze the impact of what happened. Take a minute to reflect on the outcome of your actions. Who has been affected? How badly were you or others hurt? Take it all at face value, and avoid embellishing it with undeserved emotion.
- Take the time to consider the impact outside of what you initially see. It is sometimes easy to overlook the smaller impact when the greater one is overwhelming.
- If we are focusing on this year’s Resolutions, what is the real impact? How hard are you going to beat yourself up before you let it go?
3. Accept your human imperfections. Above all, be gentle with yourself. Remind yourself that you are human. There is no one on the face of the earth who goes through life without making a single mistake. But, it is also important to remember that this acceptance of our frailties does not excuse what happened.
- While accepting your human imperfections, take the time to identify your shortcomings.
- Use the opportunity to work on aspects of yourself that you may want to improve. Maybe you would like to further develop certain character traits or strengthen your skills in particular areas.
- When apologizing to yourself and others, you can point out that everybody makes mistakes, but that you have learned from your own errors and have every intention of not repeating it.
4. Challenge yourself to do better. The crucial final step to self-forgiveness is challenging yourself to do better. In the first step, you accepted your imperfections. Now it is time to work at fixing the things you can change.
- Is it that you need to learn to be nicer to others? You can work on that through conscious effort or group therapy.
- Work at not repeating the same mistakes. This is one of the easiest ways to backslide and end up back at square one again.
- Ask your supportive friends and family to help you on your journey. Remember that no man is an island.
Making things right might not happen overnight. What is important is that you forgive yourself and commit to turning things around.
We are each so full potential.
That potential sits unused inside of you while you consume yourself with negative energy and self-punishment.
Lift yourself up!
Come to terms with the fact that you have so much more to give to the world!
Chip away at the negativity until all that’s left is your renewed spirit.
One of the questionable advantages of writing a blog is that your thoughts become available for others to see and scrutinize. But, it also has the advantage of keeping me accountable to my community…you. For the past few years, I have been trying the 3-Word system, and it has had equivocal results. This year was complicated by a major injury, from which I have yet to fully recover.
Here is the post of my own New Year’s promises. THREE WORDS to Bind the Year: 2014.
I have made some progress in each of the three areas. My injury has forced me to do more letting go than I probably could have done on my own.
But my results could have been better, and that is my responsibility.
This year, I may shave it to one word. But that cannot be revealed until 1-1. 🙂
Pick up those resolutions for 2014.
Write out what you promised yourself all those long months ago.
Look at it a few times.
Write down what you could have done differently to stay on track.
Decide what you will do this year.