I criticize by creating,
not by finding fault.
Unjustifiable criticism always seems unfair, but the manner in which you respond can turn it into a constructive experience. Here are a few suggestions for dealing with undeserved, negative feedback in the workplace and other settings.
1. Seek out the truth. Even the most far fetched of accusations often contains a grain of truth. For example, you may not always neglect to close the garage door. However, if you have left it open more than once, you will be the most likely suspect if your significant other finds it open in the morning.
2. Identify the underlying issues. Conflicts sometimes flare up over minor issues when more serious resentments have been buried. Your brother may still be smarting from childhood rivalries when he nags you about your housekeeping. So, your house, messy or not, is not the real issue here. Try to work out the real challenges together and let the past go.
3. Collaborate on activities. If you are frequently butting heads with someone, try consulting them more often. People are more likely to embrace projects that they have a hand in planning.
4. Provide reassurance. Stress can make people more prone to becoming hypercritical. Empathize with whatever struggles they may be going through and offer sincere praise for their individual strengths. They may soon feel more confidence in you.
5. Remain calm. Whatever is at the root of your conflicts, you will make a great deal more headway by staying calm. Keeping your emotions in check is good for your wellbeing and ability to present the facts logically.
6. Adopt a compassionate view. Even when you dislike how someone is treating you, you can view them with compassion. Considering their position makes it easier to get along with them.
7. Move on. If you know that a person or an event is unlikely to have much impact on your future, you can choose to just let it go. For example, if another commuter honks at you when you have the right-of-way, say nothing and let it pass.
1. Document your work. It is always good to record your accomplishments. It is especially important if you believe that you might need evidence to show your supervisor.
2. Put assignments into writing. Be proactive to improve communications. Send your supervisor an email with your understanding of an assignment written out to avoid discrepancies later. But, don’t go overboard.
3. Focus on outcomes. Look to the future and come up with solutions for whatever can be improved. You can do things to help, like straighten out the supply closet, regardless of whether that task was originally in your job description or not.
4. Build alliances. Your colleagues can provide valuable advice on how to deal with people you find challenging. Avoid complaining, but welcome practical suggestions on how to win more approval.
5. Promote yourself outside work. Work at extending your network outside of your office. You will get broader feedback for assessing your abilities and performance. Your colleagues may give you a second look if they see that others value your contributions.
6. Look for another position. Face the facts if you are continuing to get negative reviews and you believe the situation is unlikely to change. There may be another position within your organization that would suit you better or it may be time to start job hunting. Remaining conscientious about your duties and cooperative in the transition may impress your supervisor and enable you to part on good terms.
Sometimes the best way of dealing with unwarranted criticism is to disregard it. Of course, it can be hazardous to your career if you ignore your boss, so you want to have additional techniques on hand that will protect your peace of mind and relationships when confronted with negative, inaccurate feedback.
Learn to silence your critics- internal and external. Always remain calm and respectful. And, when all else fails, move on.!