There is a very old saying, “Birds of a feather flock together.” The reasoning behind this is that people tend to become like the people they hang out with the most.
We tend to absorb the energy of the people we with. If you are hanging about with “cannot, should not, and do not” people, then you will find that you also are constantly feeling discouraged, depressed, displeased and displaced. Instead, surround yourself with people who are visionaries and those who can inspire and motivate you so that you can, should, and do take action.
Check you own body language
Your intuition is one of the best guides for helping you weed out negative people early on, often when you first meet them. Here are some of the clues and cues your body might send:
- A weird, unexplainable, sick or uncomfortable feeling forms in the pit of your stomach.
- The hair on the back of your neck literally stands on end.
- Your skin crawls, you feel jumpy or adverse to being touched.
- Your shoulder muscles knot up. Or you have to make a conscious effort to pull them down and relax them.
- Your throat and chest constrict.
- You feel a sense of pressure, agitation, or darkness.
- You feel physically, mentally, or emotionally drained after meeting this individual.
These symptoms may be your body’s way of telling you to steer clear of this person. You may leave their presence feeling depressed and discouraged because all you have heard is complaining.
Naturally, this only serves to suck the life and energy out of you. But if you can learn to read even a few of these signs early on, you will save yourself from becoming involved with a negative person. These people are toxic , energy vampires and will poison your mind with their constant negativity.
Get some positive peeps
Sometimes you can tell someone is positive just by their outward appearance or the way they conduct themselves around others. Walking confidently with their head up or even smiling are signs that a person is in a generally positive mood.
What does your body “say” about this person?
- You have a feeling of familiarity, as if you’ve known the person forever.
- You feel relaxed, calm, and even safe.
- You breathe easier.
- You lean forward instead of crossing your arms and legs defensively and withdrawing.
- You are at ease with the other person touching you (hug, handshake, etc.).
- You leave their presence feeling energized and alive.
Just as negative people put out a negative energy, positive people have positive energy. These people are nourishing and supportive. Your body can pick up on these things and can either warn you or encourage you depending on the situation.
Where can I find these positive people?
How do you go about finding those positive people you wish to associate with? Much of the above responses are simply felt in our day-to-day associations and interactions with people. But, there are some proactive steps you can take to align yourself with positive people.
- Look for a local community event, club, or group where people challenge themselves and encourage their members to be better people. They will help you set goals for yourself and then achieve them.
- Participate in online forums or organize your own positive mentoring group. Sometimes it is impossible to completely avoid certain negative people (like a boss or family member), but you can limit your relationship with them and seek out positive role models elsewhere.
- Make use of your positive support system to prevent the negative people in your life from getting the best of you. Rely on your friends and family members when you need to vent to get rid of your pent-up negative emotions.
The choices you make in life are yours alone. It is absolutely within your power to choose who you are friendly with and whether you want your life to be happy and uplifted, or to be miserable, mired and wallowing in negativity daily.
If you feel that you are being exposed to too much negativity, take control of your life and make some changes to eliminate the negative sources. This will take some time, but making these changes will help improve your daily mood and remind you that life is indeed good, and that good things are still ahead.